CH 4 (2/2)

 Ko-Ton

Tooko-senpai threw her other shoe on the ground

“But…so happened awhile after they became third years One day Shuuji had to stay late

for the club, so Sakiko had to go hoot into a car accident and died”

“A car accident…”

Tooko-senpai, still with her dreamy eyes, slowly said to herself

“The light had turned red already, yet Sakiko ran into the street; she got hit by a truck that was

turning in the intersection- she died immediately”

“……”

Tooko-senpai silently loosened her other French braid

Her wavy hair dangled to her waist and covered her slender body She was as captivating as the

Muses, the Goddess of Arts My throat suddenly became very dry

“…Why did Sakiko Kijiht?”

“Who knows…ht no cars were turning…

Regardless, Sakiko died; and Shuuji lost his lover Shuuji felt it was his fault- if only he had gone

home with her A month later- he killed himself”

Inoff the rooftop My fingers felt numbed,

and my mouth stiff

No, it‟s not

This happened ten years ago

This had nothing to do with „that‟

To make sure that the senpai remained oblivious to my abnormal reaction, I forcefully controlled

Tooko-senpai impassively asked-

“The suicide note that was found in Shuuji‟s house, what did it say?”

“It said that Sakiko died because of him; and he didn‟t want to live in a place where Sakiko

didn‟t exist, so he would follow her Also……”

Maki-senpai suddenly stopped

 Pu-chin

Tooko-senpai unbuttoned her second button

“- „I am sorry that I am alive in this world‟”

Goosebumps appeared all over my skin as if I personally heard him say that

Tooko-senpai er on her lips and

fell into deep thought

I ignored the dull pain in my chest and asked Maki-senpai-

“What kind of a person was Shuuji Kataoka?”

“Easy to socialize with, optimistic, liked to joke Wherever he was at, that place would be filled

with laughter Apparently he knew many people But when he was alone his true face world

appear He would look very soleuy, which hy he

always had irl would describe

hireed he was a nice person…they even said that he would from time to

tiirls defenseless

Whenever he practiced archery, a bunch of girls would gather around hiet in the

way of everyone else‟s practice Thus Shuuji was often scolded by the club er Even then,

he would srier Whenever other people

saw this, they would laugh it off- around Shuuji you would always feel an endlessly lively mood”

Just like the impression Takeda described e first talked about the personality of Shuujisenpai

A cheerful, optimistic, kind and friendly senpai

Usually hu archery

But this socializing, cheerful person was only a pitiful clown he created- it was not his real self

In the letter Takeda-san gave me, he repeatedly confessed he was a monster that was incapable

of love The mere existence of him in this world shamed him to no end He could not let other

people be aware of this, so he endlessly wanted to die

That letter was found in between Osaen shi+kkaku‟

Why did Shuuji Kataoka prepare another death will?

That letter was meant for someone else

Was it written to S, the person who understood him best, the person ould destroy him?

Or was it written to someone else?

Tooko unbuttoned the third button

Froap in her shi+rt, I spotted a bit of pale skin and white silk undergarments; and from it

my heart beat faster

“Did Shuuji-senpai have any particularly close friends?”

Maki-senpai reedily stared at Tooko-senpai

“He hadhis „special friend‟ was very hard He was usually

with two people froeru Manabe and Yasuyuki Soeda In

this gang, Manabe was the leader, Soeda formed the detailed plans, and Shuuji was the

trouble out with the club er Rihoko Sena

All five of theraduated she broke up with

Manabe and started going out with Soeda Now the latter two are married, and Rihoko became

Rihoko Soeda”

Sigeru Manabe

Yasuyuki Soeda

Rihoko Sena

And the lover, Sakiko Kijima

They all have the initial S

“Oh right, I even got a photo of Shuuji Kataoka for you here”

Maki-senpai stopped sketching, turned the photo doard, and passed it in front of us

“Want to see it?”

“…So perverse, Maki”

Tooko-senpai said as if she had given up on fighting She then unbuttoned her fourth button

Maki-senpai just s

Tooko-senpai pointedly looked at Maki-senpai, and unbuttoned her fifth button- also her final

button

Her shi+rt was coarments and chest could be seen Underneath

the white undergarht purple bra I finally didn‟t knohere I should be

looking at

Maki-senpai was still not doing anything Tooko-senpai lowered her head, blushed, and said-

“Hey, I was sick right before this I ain if I take the shi+rt off”

“If you do get a cold, I will bring you to the hospital our family uses I will prepare a special

patient room just for you”

“Gosh!+ If you don‟t let me see the picture our friendshi+p ends here”

Tooko-senpai puffed her cheeks again I hurriedly added-

“Tooko-senpai can be very stubborn; she will really end her friendshi+p with you Furthermore,

even if she continues to strip off her clothing, the flat chest won‟t change, I would iine Even

if she only has a single piece of undergarment on, her chest would still look flat”

Suddenly,board

“Gosh~~~! Konoha-kun you idiot!!!!”

Her ant appearance was nothe

drawing board, repeatedly sainst my head Tooko-senpai, with tears in her eyes,

yelled-

“Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

“Ah- stop, let hiainst you”

Maki-senpai was finally willing to turn the photo over

Tooko-senpai stopped s me, and both of us stuck our heads forward to examine the

photo

The photo had three male students and two fe the older

style of school unifor male was Manabe-senpai The male that was smart

looking and had a pair of glasses was Soeda-senpai The tough looking beautiful girl was

Rihoko-senpai Standing between them, with a slender body and fair skin was probably Sakiko

Kiji hands with Sakiko while looking very embarrassed was

Shuuji Kataoka

His long bangs dangled over his forehead His look was as delicate as a girl There was a

pleasant smile on his face

He was taller and looked more mature than me

But, other than thatI

couldn‟t help but draw a deep breath Tooko-senpai also had her eyes wide open

“…He really looked like Konoha-kun!”

Yes Shuuji Kataoka looked like he ht be my brother or uncle He really did look like me

◇ ◇ ◇

Why did I beco back, I am still

intrigued by it

At first S hated lared at me coldly and talked to me harshly

When I disguised h, only S, with S’s harsh eyes,

looked at me

This person saw though everything

This thought rate co

on the ground, could not be in worse state

But I tried to get close to S To S, I behaved foolishly, limply, and servilely, just to soften S's

attitude towards me

Perhaps S took pity on me As if there was no other way to handle me, S started to smile at

me I wanted to be closer to S more and more I constantly complimented and swore my

loyalty to S Just like that, S and I eventually becaood friends- not unlike a master and

its slave

But S was still ed

Souise on, would scold me with sad expressions or

with accusing attitude When S criticized , as if I

slipped and fell head first into a deep abyss

Are these my sins? Is it my fault that I can’t understand what other people feel? I can’t feel

sadness, nor can I love another being; thus I have to continue this dangerous play Is it my

fault that I became like this? Aah, this must be true I was born a sinner I am Cain,

covered by the bark of white birch trees As such, even when others charged at me, it can’t

be helped I a; all I can feel is infinite torture

What would S ask me to do?

Would S tella clown?

If everyone learned the truth, that I am a monster, would they chase and stone me?

You all know nothing! Aconsumed by the

fla- none of you understand!

At this hteousness’ So hateful that my throat

became hot, and my whole body shook in hatred

◇ ◇ ◇

How much did Takeda know of Shuuji Kataoka?

On the following day, during the break after the third period, I sat in my chair and contemplated

this question

Takeda-san still hadn‟t appeared today

What is Takeda-san thinking? What is her goal?

And why did Kataoka coirlfriend died?

By reading his other „will‟, one can see that he was in pain because he was unable to love others

Would a person like hiirlfriend, follow her path?

If the death of his girlfriend was not hishimself, as the final straw that

drove him to suicide?

In the letter, he even said he killed a person What does that mean? I don‟t understand

Maybe he wrote it because he felt that Sakiko‟s death related to hi from the

letter‟s content, it was almost as if the person died in front of him…

Aah, no, there are too many mysteries It is possible he left behind a second handnote, just like

„Ningen shi+kkaku‟ For exaht have slipped it into other works of Osamu Dazai…

Aah, but wouldn‟t someone find the letter soon after he did that…wait a second!

I suddenly thought of an inconsistency

Takeda-san said that she found Shuuji‟s letter in „Ningen shi+kkaku‟

Shuuji-senpai juo

Ten years is a very long tie? „Ningan

shi+kkaku‟ is a fae of its borrowers…

I felt the glance of someone and raised my head

“……”

Kotobuki-san was standing in front ofto say

“The change”

She coolly said

“What?”

“The 10 yen You haven‟t given me that yet”

“Ah, so-sorry”

daot about it I hurriedly took out my wallet and found that I didn‟t have a darn 10 yen

coin with me

“Eh, eh…”

“Forget it Give it to me next time”

“Sorry…”

Uwah, so e It was only 10 yen anyway, there is no need to be so uptight about it…

Kotobuki-san looked as if she wanted to cohtly

blushi+ng, and her eyes were looking left and right hesitantly Suddenly she opened her mouth

and said-

“Hey, are you aware that Chia Takeda is going out with a first year student? I heard that they

really like each other”

“What”

I was flabbergasted Kotobuki-san calmly continued-

“It‟s true I heard it fro out in April

Every day they would eat lunch together in the courtyard Konoha, she is not going out with both

of you at the saht? Ah, but didn‟t you say before that you were not going out with

her? Then I guess that‟s none of your business”

“…Thank you for telling me this!”

Kotobuki-san seemed very much taken aback; it must have been because my expression back

then was very frightening

The bell rang Kotobuki-san just said „don‟t forget to return the 10 yen to me‟, and escaped She

looked as if she was about to cry, but I really didn‟t have any reth to deal with her

Takeda-san was going out with a first year student? How did this happen?

During lunch time, I went to the courtyard

In the May sky there were clouds The arm as well There were students everywhere

eating their lunch boxes Takeda-san and her boyfriend, that first year student, were there as well

They were sitting on the lawn Each of theh Their lunch boxes were

put on top of it

The colour of their napkins was different Takeda-san‟s was pink Her boyfriend‟s was blue

Their lunch boxes differed as well The boy‟s lunch box was a size bigger than hers

Takeda-san was happily chatting with him-

“Hey hey, is it good? Hiro-kun? This shrimp meatball is my new invention”

“It‟s the best! It‟s a bit spicy but it‟s soooo good”

“Ehehe, I prepared it with spices; I also added a bit of leek It‟s very filling, right?”

“Yeah Chia is really good at cooking~~!”

“For Hiro-kun I always do my best~~”

”Chia, the Basketball Club is taking a break this Sunday Do you want to see a ether?”

“Wah~~~~, I will go, I will go! Hurray, this is our fourth ti out on a date!”

Sitting beside Takeda-san was the slightly embarrassed boyfriend He seemed to be the one that

was chasing Takeda-san in the rain His hair was kept very short; he looked just like an everyday

sports boy

They were chatting very cheerfully No matter how you looked at them, they seemed to be a very

sweet couple

“Ah…”

Takeda-san finally noticed me Her face immediately froze

I didn‟t feel like I did so hot I felt

shameful and upset I looked at Takeda-san once, and at once I turned around and left I hurriedly

walked back to the classroom

(What the hell, this!)

(What‟s with this!)

After school, I planned on going to the club room But when I stepped outside the classroom I

saw Takeda-san waiting for me in the hallway

She was dillydallying and had her nored her and silently passed by in front of

her

“Ah…”

Takeda-san followed me

After we silently walked for a bit, I, withforward, coldly asked:

“What is it?”

“……”

“Are you here to explain what‟s between you and your boyfriend?”

“Hi…Hiro-kun is-“

“-that you two started going out in April? That everyday at lunch break you tould go to the

courtyard and each lunch that you prepared? That you two already went on three dates?”

Even I felt I was being nasty, but I couldn‟t help but be furious

For the past teeks I had been writing her love letters I went to the Archery Club, and I went

to the library to search for previous yearbooks I did a lot to help Takeda-san

Just fro about Shuuji-senpai, I made

up s to senpai Everyday Takeda-san

would cheerfully come to me and report what happened between her and Shuuji-senpai that day

Even though I was mocked by my classmates, I still felt very happy to help When Takeda-san

ca, and asked me to help Shuuji-senpai, just like her I felt sad as well

But she already had a boyfriend since April? And that they had been deeply in love since then?

Stop kidding around!

Upon reaching the plateau in between the staircase steps, I stopped, turned around and glared at

Takeda-san

Takeda-san shrank her body and lowered her head

“You already had a boyfriend, yet you acted as if you secretly admired a senpai from the archery

club What do you want me to do? What‟s your reason?”

Takeda-san looked miserable, but she remained silent

“If you can‟t answer it‟s fine Either hat you told me were all lies Shuuji Kataoka already

died 10 years ago by ju off the school roof”

When I said that, Takeda-san looked up in horror Even though I knew that continuing to attack

her wouldn't do anybody any good, I couldn‟t hold it in:

“Shuuji Kataoka lives only in your iination I don‟t want to be toyed around anymore Even

though the incident happened ten years ago, I still feel cru that someone who

looked likeI just want to forget all this, so don‟t

ever coain”

I turned around and startedup the staircase At that moment, Takeda-san, with all the

force she could muster, squeezed out a sound and said to me:

“For…for a person like Konoha-senpai…you won‟t understand …”

I turned around Takeda was looking at me with a desolate expression

That expression was the sairl I once knew This was the last

expression she had on her, when she looked at asted

(Miu……!)

Takeda-san tightly bit her lips, lowered her head, and ran down the stairs

And I just stood there, unable to move

-„Konoha, surely you don‟t understand…‟

[Long TL note: This line is extremely important to the story You will see this line over and over

again throughout most of the volumes in this series Since it‟s so important, I will do a bit of

explanation hereThere

are multiple ways one can translate this line For exaical,

surprisingly) translation would be „Konoha, you don‟t understand‟ As in he currently does not

understand Of course, this implied simple present tense

This would make sense because as we are all aware, main male characters in anime are

dumbasses

The problem is future tense will also work: „Konoha, you won‟t understand‟

The original japanese line uses present tense; unfortunately, their present tense can in some cases

encompass future tense To add to the mix, both tenses ork in the context of the story

Finally, the original line had the word??? in it It translates to as „surely, definitely‟ The

japanese version of the word sounded very „right‟ in the sentence; but when I tried to translate it

to English, all hell broke loose „For sure‟ doesn‟t sound good; „definitely‟, nope; „clearly‟, this

implied previous events; „doubtless‟, too formal…and so on and so forth

The real translation is so like „Konoha, it seems for sure you don‟t/won‟t understand

[why this is happening]‟By God, that sounded clunky

Bungaku Shoujo: Volume1 Chapter5