Part 9 (1/2)

That's how it looked, on the surface of it On the other hand the Building had faree at least, with itsat times, but not without certain salient features There were departulations, ranks, phones, all cemented by an absolute obedience into one ulated, ever vigilant, like the white corridors with their symmetrical rows of doors, like the offices with their scrupulously kept files; the communication systems were its entrails, the steel safes its hearts, and its veins and arteries were the pneumaticwas overlooked, even the plu played a vital part But underneath that surface of clockwork precision lay a hive of intrigue, skulduggery, deception What exactly was that wild confusion? A gae to prevent the uninitiated froher order

Could it be that my muddled, erratic behavior was exactly what they wanted? A weapon which the Building directed against its enely and only (it would seem) by dumb luck, I had rendered some service to the Cause! I had taken both the little old man and the captain out of action; in many other cases I had probably functioned as a catalyst, bringing certain situations to a head or turning the balance in the Building's favorThen I thought about the duplicity of all the people I hadboth sides was the general rule here -- with two exceptions, the spy at the open safe and Prandtl

There was no doubt about that spy When even death had letwas clearly auous -- at least the spy was left He didn't toy with treason, didn't pretend, didn't play garaphed docuhtened That was the sort of thing one expected from an honest spy

Prandtl was not so easy My trust in hih Major Erms had said that Prandtl would coach me in connection with the Mission But my conversation with Prandtl turned out to be entirely different -- though noasn't so sure about that either Prandtl had said a great deal that wasn't clear, but assured me I would understand it all later Did later mean now?

It was also possible that Prandtl had no idea as in store for esture of coe ofof that final s, the scrap of paper with those five words

They were in response to a question I had posed inin the office, alone with the fat officer

If everything that happened in the Building was supposed to have soh than met the eye

I had asked: ”What do they want me to do?”

And Prandtl handed me a piece of paper that said: ”There will be no answer”

If there was no answer forthco -- the Commander in Chiefs promises, the open safe, my blackmail of Father Orfini, the shoot-out in the hall, the suicides, the missions, the instructions, the secret codes -- absolutely everything was afell apart, nothing held together, and the Building itself became a vacuum filled exclusively with lunatics, each kept in isolationeach hallucinating its omniscience and omnipotence

But if these events were in fact unrelated, haphazard, thrown together any which way, having no pattern, no connection with anything else, then they were less, and his lecture, and those five terrible words

Those words lost their broaderand became, as at first, only one example in a de, and were therefore not in answer to my unspoken question, in that casein that case there was a Building after all, and aand I was back where I started, describing a vicious circle of thought, of thought that devoured thought

I glanced at the sleeping man He breathed so quietly that if it hadn't been for the slight ht hiht explain h No, I ide awake

Let us assume, for the noring the above paradox Where would this lead us? (Probably nowhere, but it would at least kill time) Consider the possible usefulness of the chaos those words implied, a chaos that could be kept in check by various and devious means, turned almost into a tool What purpose did chaos serve?

Here I was, given a Special Mission, chosen, singled out; then, with equal eagerness, I had assumed the role of cris of confession, the sobs of remorse, the pleas for mercy; or else I had draped myself in the robes of ators, prosecutors, was acquitted and rehabilitated, then found guilty and recondemned; on one hand I had rifled desks and files to find evidence I could use against hteous indignation of an honest citizen grievously wronged All this I had done with great spirit, conscientiously, convinced that that hat they expected of et at the root of things, to unearth, unmask, penetrate appearances, layers of deception -- and it accoh dissonance In my case, it destroyed the harmony of defeat as well as the har to another, joltedin the many favors and misfortunes that rained down in turn upon my head, and then it threw me into an acid bath of chaos and caled and purified

Precisely by denying me both my instructions and a warrant forits vast resources, its hundred corridors and hoards of desks, to give oal

Yes, chaos could be useful

And the little oldabout an infinite variety of operational plans?

Fro that chaos in the Building was not only not unusual, but actually the norence It was an artificial chaos, forged to shi+eld the Ulti eyes

PerhapsI shi+fted ht on the hard rim of the tub My other theories also fit a lot of the facts Odd, how almost any sufficiently co, to explain itOdd, and a little frightening

The sleeping man moved over on his back, so I could see his face The eyelids flickered -- he see in his sleep, the eyeballs listened on his brow; he badly needed a shave, and was deathly pale, with a twisted srimace (the face was upside down from where I sat)

I'd wait for hiand somewhere in some office a bored secretary had stirred her coffee and was now getting up to file a folder of instructions, instructions that contained exactly what he would say to me when he opened his eyes, and what I would say to him, and so on -- to the bitter end

I felt a sudden chill, either froht or from the draft that ran across the tub, and pulled my knees up closer and buttoned the top button of my jacket

What difference did it make, I reasoned, tired and defeated They'd never show ainst them, and so my future remained unknown to er anywhere

9

The sleeping an to snore -- not with the Admiral's virtuosity, but in a stubbornaith a dedication worthy of a better cause Evidently he had decided to i man This unnerved me, I couldn't concentrate any more -- an attempt to divert ain I decided to leave, go soht, it was too crowded there I stretched, went over to the sink, put the razor inatand wearisoed? That I had found a genuine co as I was, chasing a sie?

I could tell by the sudden silence that he was beginning to wake up He stirred sloith great effort, as if carefully putting away his pretense of dying, saving it for another time The eyes flashed open, took me in (upside down), then shut for a hts Finally, be lifted himself up on one elbow

Before he spoke, I see -- I had seen that face before Eyes still shut, heyour pardon?”

He sat up, scratched his head, blinked, looked athis wrists: ”That cauliflowerthe bastards don't cook it right, gives you nightlanced at the sink -- I was in the way -- he leaned around ht, where's the razor?” he asked

”Here” I pointed to my pocket

”Hand it over”

”Why?” I objected, already taking a dislike to the ant Wherever I had seen hiht it here, froave ot up He stretched and scratched his shoulders leisurely, with obvious pleasure Then he took a brush off the shelf and started to rerowled, not looking at et lost!”

”Talk about what?”

The sound of ht,” he said, and came up tofor? Scared?”

”I'hed it in his hand and looked uess not”

He hung his jacket on the doorknob, wrapped a towel around his neck and proceeded to lather his face Having nothing else to do, I sat on the rinoredout from under the tub Suddenly it hit me: this was the spy with the camera! Of course! They sent him, sent him in order toto what? We would soon see He would make his pitch any minute now The silence was painful The tips of my shoes touched the floor and, as soan to dance

”Been herelong?” I asked, trying to sound casual

All I could see in the mirror was a lot of lather, no face I waited for an answer But the razor slid fro

”Have you been here long?” I asked again