Part 2 (2/2)
Dawson or dependent friend of fanny Blood Her position was one to attract attention, and it was sufficient for her to be known, to be loved and aded No one could care enial At Newington Green she already began to show the preference for men and women of intellectual tastes and abilities that sheher intiyman, a Dissenter, then well known because of his political and ht, simple-hearted man, who commanded the respect and love of all who knew hih to realize even Mary's ideals She became deeply attached to hiious and ht, and she often went to listen to thereat interest in her, and to have recognized her extraordinary yman, was another of her friends, and she retained his friendshi+p for many years afterwards A third friend, h,of a otten, but once famous as the author of ”Political Disquisitions” In sorrows soon to coave practical proof of her affection If a ed by the character of his associates, then the age, professions, and serious connections of Mary's friends at Newington Green are not a little significant
Much as she cared for these older friends, however, they could not be so dear to her as fanny and George Blood She had begun by pitying the latter for his hopeless passion for Everina, and had finished by loving him for himself with true sisterly devotion To brother and sister both, she could open her heart as she could to no one else They were young with her, and that in itself is a strong bond of union They, too, were but just beginning life, and they could sympathize with all her aspirations and disappointments It was, therefore, an irreparable loss to her when they, at alland fanny's health had finally become so wretched that even her uncertain lover was moved to pity Mr Skeys seems to have been one of the men who only appreciate that which they think they cannot have Not until the ill-health of the wo her altogether did he make definite proposals to her Her love for him had not been shaken by his unkindness, and in February, 1785, she married him, and ith him to Lisbon, where he was established in business A few years earlier helife's happiness Now, as it turned out, he succeeded but inher path smooth for a few short months Mary's love for fanny s as a lover than fanny had been Shortly after the e:--
”Skeys has received congratulatory letters frorets that he did not hty fears had no foundation, so that if he had had courage to brave the world's opinion, he riefs, the scars of which will never be obliterated
Nay, ht have been perfectly restored, which I do not now think will ever be the case Before true passion, I a but a sense of duty h could let fanny languish in England, while he was throwing money away at Lisbon, is to me inexplicable, if he had a passion that did not require the fuel of seeing the object I much fear he loves her not for the qualities that render her dear to my heart
Her tenderness and delicacy are not even conceived of by a eneral run of woe Blood's departure was due to less pleasant circumstances than fanny's One youthful escapade which had coht was sufficient to attach to his name the blame for another, of which he was innocent Some of his associates had beco iht, and had e
Mary's friends left her just when she urated by the opening of the school was but short-lived Encouraged by the first success of her enterprise, she rented a larger house, hoping that in it she would do even better But this step proved the _Open Sesame_ to an inexhaustible reater than she had expected, and her ton Green was not nue first-class day-school, andto avail themselves of the new accommodations provided for the feast, and again highways and by-ere searched in vain Moreover, her boarders neglected to pay their bills regularly Instead of being a source of profit, they were an additional burden Her life now beca This in itself would not have been hard She always interested herself in her pupils, and the consciousness of good done for others was her ue entailed by her work been her only hardshi+p, she would have borne it patiently and perhaps gayly But fro, she was haunted by thoughts of unpaid bills and of increasing debts Poverty and creditors were the two unavoidable evils which stared her in the face Then, when she did hear from fanny, it was to know that the chances for her recovery were die Blood's ill-conduct, repeated for her benefit, hurt and irritated her On one occasion, her house was visited by irl who had vilely slandered him Mrs Campbell, with the eiven his vices She loved hiall and ood to her sensitive heart Mr and Mrs Blood continued poor andas itbefore her but a dreary pilgrih the wide Valley of the Shadow of Death, from which there seeed herself out of the deep pit of mental despondency, it was to fall into a still deeper one of physical prostration The bleedings and blisters ordered by her physician could help her but little What she needed to make her as new pupils and honest boarders, and these the ive her Is it any wonder that she carave of all my comforts,” she called it,--to lose relish for life, and to feel cheered only by the prospect of death? She had nothing to reproach herself with In sorrow and sickness alike she had toiled to the best of her abilities That which her hand had found to do, she had done with all her -sufferance had hitherto been but misfortune and failure Truly could she have called out with the Lady of Sorrows in the Lamentations: ”Attend, all ye who pass by, and see if there be any sorrow like unto reat her misery e can h, as she confessed to her friends in her weariest moiance to the heaven-given !” She never faltered in the accoot the troubles of others because of her own Though her difficulties accu rapidity, there was no relaxation in her attentions to Mr and Mrs Blood, in her care for her sister, nor in the syreatest joy that ca this year was the news that Mr Skeys had found a position for his brother-in-law in Lisbon But this pleasure wasbulletins of fanny's health Mr Skeys was alarratify her every desire fanny expressed a wish to have Mary with her during her confinement The latter, with characteristic unselfishness, consented, when Mr Skeys asked her to go to Lisbon, though in so doing she was obliged to leave school and house
This shows the sincerity of her opinion that before true passion everything but duty reater than her own; and she thought to fulfil her duty towards her sister, and to provide for her welfare by giving her charge of her scholars and boarders while she ay froorously questioned by her friends Indeed, there were ainst it It was feared her absence fro period would be injurious to it, and this eventually proved to be the case The journey was a long one for a woman to make alone And last, but not least, she had not the ready money to pay her expenses But, despite all her friends could say, she could not be inal resolution
When they saw their arguments were useless, they manifested their friendshi+p in a h lent her the necessary sum ofthis she was acting in behalf of Dr Price, who modestly preferred to conceal his share in the transaction All i thus been removed, Mary, in the autumn of 1785, started upon the saddest, up to this date, of her many missions of charity
The reunion of the friends was a joyless pleasure When Mary arrived in Lisbon, she found fanny in the last stages of her illness, and before she had tian her work as sick-nurse Four hours after her arrival fanny's child was born It had been sad enough for Mary to watch her mother's last moments and Eliza's insanity; but this new duty was still more painful She loved fanny Blood with a passion whose depth is beyond the comprehension of ordinary mortals Her affection for her was the one romance of her youth, and she lavished upon it all the sweetness and tenderness, the enthusiasm and devotion of her nature, which make her seem to us lovable above all woiven her, was to be taken froroeaker and weaker day by day, and knew that she was powerless to avert the co calamity Yet whatever could be done, she did There never has been, and there never can be, a raphic description of her journey, of the sad welcome which awaited her at its termination, and the still sadder duties she fulfilled in Lisbon:--
LISBON, Nov or Dec 1785
MY DEAR GIRLS,--I a dreaht do the transactions of these two or three last days appear Before I say more, let me tell you that, when I arrived here, fanny was in labor, and that four hours after she was delivered of a boy The child is alive and well, and considering the _very, very_ low state to which fanny was reduced she is better than could be expected I a her and the child My active spirits have not been land I could not write to you on shi+pboard, the sea was so rough; and we had such hard gales of wind, the captain was afraid we should be dishts, my mind is so unsettled fanny is so worn out, her recovery would be almost a resurrection, and my reason will scarce allow ned, and by the tiain afloat, and for a moment I look forward to days that will, alas! never coular account of h I am almost afraid to look beyond the present moment Was not my arrival providential? I can scarce be persuaded that I as have happened in so short a ti on it
_Friday ly ill since I wrote the above, I entirely gave her up, and yet I could not write and tell you so: it see her death-warrant Yesterday afternoon so syht; yet I rejoice with tree hopes She is very low The stohtest nourishment; in short, if I were to tell you all her coh a puny one, is well I have got a wet-nurse for it The packet does not sail till the latter end of next week, and I send this by a shi+p I shall write by every opportunity We arrived last Monday We were only thirteen days at sea The as so high and the sea so boisterous the water came in at the cabin s; and the shi+p rolled about in such a erous to stir The women were sea-sick the whole time, and the poor invalid so oppressed by his complaints, I never expected he would live to see Lisbon I have supported hiht, if I had been inclined to sleep, his dreadful cough would have kept me awake You may suppose that I have not rested much since I came here, yet I am tolerably well, and calmer than I could expect to be Could I not look for comfort where only 'tis to be found, I should have beenwho alone can heal a wounded spirit May He bless you both
Yours, MARY
Her state of uncertainty about poor fanny did not last long Shortly after the above letter ritten, the invalid died Just as life was beginning to s that when happiness at length ca her wrestling had wrought was but of short duration
Godwin, in his Meed her understanding ”She was adlish colony afforded She made many profound observations on the character of the natives and the baleful effects of superstition” But it seeave great heed to as going on around her Arrived there just in time to see her friend die, she remained but a short time after all was over There was no induces for Mr Skeys were not friendly She could not forget that had he but treated fanny as she, for example, would have done had she been in his place, this early death ht have been prevented Her school, intrusted to Mrs Bishop's care, was a strong reason for her speedy return to England The cause which had called her froone, she was anxious to return to her post
An incident highly characteristic of her is told of the journey hoal; on the way back she was instru the lives of many men The shi+p in which she sailed met at mid-sea a French vessel so dismantled and stor, and its stock of provisions was aling its captain to take them and their entire crew on board The latter hesitated This was no trifling request He had his own crew and passengers to consider, and he feared to lay such a heavy tax on the provisions provided for a certain number only This was a case which aroused Mary's tenderest sympathy It was impossible for her to witness it unmoved She could not without a protest allow her fellow-creatures to be so cruelly deserted Like another Portia co to the captain that if he did not yield to their entreaties she would expose his inhuuments prevailed The sufferers were saved, and the intercessor in their behalf added one ood deeds Never has there been a woman, not even a Saint Rose of Lima or a Saint Catherine of Siena, who could say as truly as Mary Wollstonecraft,--
” I sate a men And I have loved these”
CHAPTER III
LIFE AS GOVERNESS
1786-1788
There was little pleasure for Mary in her houn before her departure, had prospered still less under Mrs Bishop's care Many of the pupils had been taken away Eliza, her quick teravated at that ti person to have the control of children
She had thoughtlessly quarrelled with their most profitable boarder, the iven up her rooms As yet no one else had been found to occupy theh that these losses left the sisters without the means to pay it
They were therefore in debt, and that deeply, for people with no immediate, or even remote, prospects of an addition to their inco Mary's absence had fallen further into the Slough of Despond, out of which, now their daughter was dead, there was no one to help theh they did not know it, he was just then without employment Unable to live amicably with his brother-in-law after fanny's death, he had resigned his position in Lisbon and gone to Ireland, where for a long while he could find nothing to do Mr Skeys si wants of his wife's parents He cannot be severely censured when their shi+ftlessness is borne in mind He probably had already received many appeals from them But Mary could not accept their troubles so passively
To add to her distress, she eakened by the painful task she had just completed She was low-spirited and broken-hearted, and really ill Her eyes gave out; and no greater inconvenience could have just then befallen her Her mental activity was temporarily paralyzed, and yet she knew that pro upon her She had truly been anointed to wrestle and not to reign