9 The Right Decision (1/2)

I WOKE UP WITH NO ONE BESIDE ME but an empty pillow. I reach out to touch the part where his body had been and feel the warmth. I sit up straight and glance around but find no one not even a single trace of him.

My heart leaps as I try to remember what happened the other night. How my own hands were buried in his hair. How we tightly embraced each other. Unconsciously, I touch my lips. The memory of his lips lingers in mine. He tasted like sugar-coated apple. Our kiss was gentle and hesitant almost like we couldn't believe what we're really doing--that we're doing what we're doing--remembering sends shiver down my spine.

A knock came on the door. ”Come in,” my heart plummets as a girl--I notice with a soft surprise was Micha--came in with a tray of food. I try to hide my disappointment but she sees through it.

”I'm sorry,” she sighs then set down the tray on the table beside me. ”I wasn't the one you've been expecting for.”

”Oh no,” I cover-up. ”I am not really waiting for someone..certainly not..really..not someone in particular.” I stater and I want to slap myself for being dumb. Hadn't I wanted to meet Micha again? ”El, don't try to hide anything from me,” she said with a soft voice.

”I'm sorry,” I whisper, my face flushing with I think is an embarrassment.

”It's okay. Now help yourself. You've hardly eaten anything this past few weeks. You're going to need your strength.”

”Uhm,” I started unsure of what I'm going to say. I settled with something that came through my mind the moment I woke up. ”Do you know where he is?”

She shrugs. ”Nope, maybe doing something we ought not to know.” She sees my scowl then reassures me. ”Don't worry I bet he'll be back before dinner time.” She smiles then bids me goodbye.

She's wrong. He hadn't come back that night nor the next night or the next night. It's been three days since he's disappeared and I am starting to get worried. On the fourth morning, I washed myself

to get ready for breakfast. I chose to wear a black jacket (not that I have my options) tucked neatly inside black ripped jeans. I braided my hair so tight it made my eyes tear up. My worries for him turned into anger. Did he leave because of the kiss? Am I so dirty for him to stay away from this long? I rolled my eyes in frustration as I stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are red with anger and sadness and something like...I push that thought away. I made my way into the canteen. The room is almost fully packed. The soft clanging of spoons and the chatter and laughter of people fill my ears. I saw Micha waved at me, smiling, her whole face lights up, I can't help returning the smile. I note the girl beside her who's glaring at me with full hatred like she's mad at me for stealing Micha's attention. Oh, great another annoyance. I ignore her when I get my food and as I make my way to Micha's side. As soon as I sit Micha engages me into a conversation already. I cannot catch up on what she's saying just nodding along, saying yes and yes and nos. My mind wanders again on where Raven has gone to.

My attention curves at the sound of a speaker. The room went dead silent, everyone held their breaths. ”Good morning everyone,” a voice echoes around the room. We all look up just in time to see The Head of the Defiance steps out into view. She's wearing a long black detective outfit. Her eyes were sad and angry and full of grief. ”This will not be pleasant news for everyone and we shall all mourn for the death of one of our own,” A picture of a girl appears in above the heart of the room. She looks young and her image reminds me of someone that sends a cold quiver running down my spine. I force myself to look away. Then we heard a piercing scream. I fall from my seat, my hands clamp my ears, my eyes roll at the back of my head, I try to stand but fails. ”Someone restrain her!” I know all of us are shouting but it turns into a soft whisper. Through my unclear vision, some are still standing while others are trying to get at the girl who's continuing to scream.

With my four days staying here I realize that all of us have our own unique ability inside ourselves though I am still figuring out what's mine. And this girl has a hell of an ability. My hand feels sticky that I notice is because of blood. Surely with this octave, my ears will certainly bleed. My mind swirls, the screaming won't stop. Unfortunately there having a hard time restraining the girl. My head tries to focus on a little girl approaching me. I can't see her face clearly, she crouches in front of me her hand reaching out to touch my cheek. As she did her hand felt cold against my skin, a slight tremble past through me.

She stands up and begins to leave. I try to reach out for her but my hands are glued on my ears. Her name lies softly on my lips as everything went black.

I felt a searing pain in my head as I try to sit up. ”ARGH,” I lie back heavily on the bed my hand pressing the point of my head that hurts.

”Are you okay?” I felt tense at the sound of his voice. I haven't realize how I miss the sound of his voice. ”Hey, it's alright. You're good.”

”What happened?” I manage to say, tightly closing my eyes.

”Everyone's okay if that's what you're asking,” his voice is rough and husky in my ears. ”You're the only one that's fainted. What happened to you?”

”I don't know,” I said through gritted teeth. ”Everything just went..into...void.” I sigh. We settle into an awkward silence. A question is stuck in my throat.

”You seem like you want to say something.”

”Where did you go?”I blurt out. He seems taken aback by my question because it takes a few seconds before he answers.

”Running errands,” he answers shortly.

I clench my teeth. ”Not for the defiance.”

”Nope.”

I force my eyes open giving him a hard stare. ”Let me guess this is one of your 'I cannot tell you' secret?”

”Yes,” he sighs.

”Get out.” I set my teeth.

”What?!”

I sit up, completely ignoring the hot pain burning at the back of my head. I grab the nearest pillow and fling it at him but he dodges it cleanly. ”I said get out!” my voice is full of rage. I am breathing heavily and tears threaten to come out. ”Don't you know that I was worried about you! You left without telling me! You didn't even care to tell me where the hell you are going!” I shout so loud that my head sends a new wave of pain in me. I loll to the side. He takes an immediate step forward but I held up my hand. ”Don't. You. Dare.” I glare at him. ”Back off Raven, you'll only make things worst.” His flinch is clear but he does as I say and went outside. As soon as he's out I put my face in my hands and weep.

Later that night Micha told me that they're going to hold a requiem for Aiksha (the girl in the picture) tomorrow and that I must attend a meeting after dinner. At dinner, I refuse to acknowledge the presence of Raven even on our way to the meeting room. I sit as far away from him as possible. I could feel his gaze but I avert my eyes before I could even turn to look at him. The others arrived just a little while after we did. The Head was the last to come. Her face is as still as stone. The room went eerie as she made her way to the end of the long table. ”Just this morning 150 were found dead in the forest,” she started and my heart feels like exploding from my chest though I do not know why. ”40 on North, 15 on East, 26 on West, and another 40 on South.”

”Where are the other 29?” Someone asked before I could. The Head's eyes skim around the room then finally rested them on mine. Sweat begins to come out of my body.

She hesitates at first then answers. ”The others were found in the North West side of the forest.”

Impossible is the first word that comes into my mind. Everything seems to revolve around me but I keep myself upright. I close my eyes to process her words. 150 were found dead and 29 of them are in the North-West part of the forest. The chance is so impossibly high that one of my kids may be one of the 29. Inhale. Exhale. It seems like I've forgotten to breathe. I open my eyes again and see them all staring at me seemingly cautious. They don't know what I am capable of doing yet but I am pretty sure the incident earlier have left them wary. ”Please proceed,” I manage to say in a small voice. ”I will try not to do anything. Reckless.” That doesn't seem to lift the tension but at least.

”Okay then,” The Head said. ”We cannot waste our time anymore. We can't wait until the Grand Ball.” The Grand Ball is an annual celebration of the aristocrats wherein they are free to pick any exiles, one for each of them, then they are also free to do anything they want to do with them. While they are presenting the exiles that's when we will make our own grand entrance. We haven't started our training yet since The Grand Ball is in two months time. ”Friday next week they will start collecting exiles for The Grand Ball and that's when we will make our first move.” It's too soon. I am not ready. The news about the dead is not even registering on me yet. It's a lot to take in. ”We're going to start your training tomorrow. Everyone will be assigned to a certain group. You will know it tomorrow. In the meantime, this meeting is adjourned. Rest well for you will need your strength.” Slowly the room began to thin. I stand up but the sound of my name made me stop. I whirl around to see The Head sitting still she's eyeing me intently.

”What?” I said.

Her brows furrow. ”Is there something you want to tell me, Miss Ellie?”

”Maybe you. You called me.” There's no accusation in my voice just wonder maybe. I hope it just wonders. Raven is still in the room and his eyes jump between The Head and me. He's watching me incredulously. ”What? Can please anybody tell me what's going on?”

”Ellie. There wasn't anyone calling you not even saying your name.” I stare at him ridiculously.

”No,” I turn to face The Head. ”I heard you. You called me. Y-you w-whisper my name.”