8 A Phantom from A Dream (1/2)
I AM RUNNING IN A FLOWER FIELD with a little girl ahead of me. She is wearing a floral cocktail dress, a beach hat and a flower tuck in one of her ear. ”Hey El, come and get me,” my heart leaps at the sound of her voice. I would recognize that voice anywhere. Chelsey. She runs faster and faster away from me.
”Wait up chels!” I stumble to move forward. ”Wait for me!”
”You have to move faster El,” she shouts in a playful voice. I stop when I finally reach her, my hands on my knees, I am breathing heavily from running. ”With that long legs of yours you couldn't even save me!” Her voice became harsher. I look up to her. Her dress is now replaced with a tattered t-shirt and jeans. Her face is bloodied, dirty, and filled with filth.
”I-I-I'm a sorry chels,” I said in a low voice. ”I tried I promise--believe me---I promise--I tried---” I reach for her hand but she takes it back as if my touch burns her. I flinch inwardly.
”No. You didn't!” she shouted. ”If you did I wouldn't have died! I wouldn't have died! If you were faster! If you weren't scared I wouldn't have died!”
”No no no no no no no,” I said. ”I tried to save you but I was too late.” I am on my knees now.
Then my dream shifts. Suddenly I am sitting on the leaves with Chelsey's body in my hands. My body felt numb for a moment and I scream my lungs out.
My eyes fly open. I struggle for breathing. A hand eases my forehead. ”Hey, it's okay,” I know that it's Raven's voice. My eyes search around. Everything is blinding white. There is a machine beside me that keeps on beeping. I have an oxygen mask too.
”Where are we?” I manage to ask Raven. I tried to sit up but before I can do so my ribs suddenly hurt and it made me lie back down again. I grunted in pain.
”Don't force yourself,” he said. He started to move away but I caught his arm.
”I said, where the hell are we?” I said through gritted teeth. I glare at him when he doesn't reply. ”What did you do?” I reach for his arm.
”It's the only way that could save you,” he said. He removes my hand from gripping his arm.
”We don't know these people,” I said.
”We are not the bad ones,” we turn from the voice. We look at the woman standing in the doorway. She's the same person that talked to me last time, the one who offered me to join her team. She crosses the room.
”Yeah?” I retort. ”How could I know that?”
”Oh you wouldn't have known because if we were bad people you would be dead by now,” she spat back. Raven glared at her.
”Maybe you want something from me?” I said.
”Don't think too highly of yourself,” I flinch at her reply. I open my mouth to fight back but Raven's words cut me off.
”Don't start a fight with her,” I thought he's talking to me but he is looking at the woman. ”She's just regained her consciousness. If we had a choice I wouldn't have needed your help.”
”What?” I ask him. ”You are getting in touch with her? Since when?”
”I'm sorry,” he looks so worn out. He runs a hand through his hair. Suddenly he looks older, more tired, then I notice the dark circles under his eyes. ”It's just that we were running out of medicines and I'm not in a position to buy you one. You were burning fire, your fever won't just get down so I asked for her help. And when we were in the woods your wound won't heal. I panicked so I asked her again.” He spoke rapidly and when he looked at me I saw something flicker in his eyes worry I guess.
”What makes you think that they,” I look at the girl. ”would help us for free?”
”Okay,” the girl said. ”Since I was just here for checking you,” she gives me an exasperated look. ”I would leave now so you two can talk.” She walks out of the door.
I look at Raven now. ”I've made a bargain.” I didn't reply implying for him to talk more. ”In exchange for taking care of you we have to work for them,” my hand clutches the bed sheets so hard that I can feel my nails digging in my palm. ”I told them that they can take me but they don't want to and I can't just leave you on their hands so I agree with their terms in order to save your life.”
”You've got no rights to decide what happens to me! You should have just left me instead of making this bargain,” it came out harsher than I intend it to be. His face contorts.
”Yea and what? I would die because of guilt?” he started to raise his voice.
”Oh, so you save me out of guilt?” I give him a sarcastic laugh.
”No!” he shouts and I flinch.”I'm sorry,” he looks exhausted. He sat back on his chair. ”I-It's hard to talk to you this way. Maybe you should get some sleep, the doctor said--”
”You don't know what they would make us do,” I cut him off. ”They allied with the Government. Who knows maybe they would order us to kill exiles? And I don't kill Exiles!” My voice breaks and I begun to sob. Abruptly, I am crying. His expression softens. He reached for me and suddenly I was being enveloped by his warmth. His arms circle around me. His hand smooth my back and I bury my head in his shoulders. I am shaking uncontrollably and he's saying soothing words to me.
”I know, I know,” he whispers. ”I'll figure things out okay? Don't worry. I'll get us out of here.” I force myself to nod. We stayed like that for a while before I can finally fall asleep.
It took me a week before I can finally get out of my bed. Within those few days, Raven had always been there for me, whenever I woke up from nightmares he would be there telling me stories or singing me a lullaby or he would kiss my forehead and tell me that everything's okay. It was probably the first time I let anyone ever did that to me. Not even Micha. Micha. A sudden jolt of panic runs through me as I remember my best friend. How I hope that she's alright.