Chapter 50 Chapter 50 (1/2)

Who Am I

Chapter 50

There was still about half an hour before the next train to Jiang City.

With the rush to Jiang City interrupted, the two found a secluded place, avoiding those who would appear from time to time to stop them from proceeding with their plans.

The tightly closed heart had quietly opened a small gap, and the past which had gathered dust was revealed.

“April 6th, 1439 Star Era. It was a very ordinary morning. Spring had arrived and rain was plentiful. It had rained from early morning till dawn.” Ji Yushi slowly spoke up, “I didn’t get up too early because my father was always the one who got up the earliest. As he worked, he made breakfast for me as usual. It was a very crudely made egg sandwich paired with a glass of slightly sweet hot milk. The table was outrageously messy, filled with formulas I couldn’t understand at the time. Even after I pushed away those papers and finished my breakfast, he didn’t notice. It was only when I was about to leave that he caught up to me with a raincoat and apologised saying that he would have to work overtime again.”

Those fragmentary details may not be important to the case, but it was Ji Yushi’s final interaction with his father.

Song Qinglan listened quietly without interrupting him.

Ji Yushi continued, “He didn’t go to work after I left that day because he had died at home. He was stabbed in the chest with a knife.”

That simple line brought the scene from seventeen years ago before Song Qinglan’s eyes.

Ji Yushi said, “Based on his time of death, he had died shortly after I left. The police investigated the case and checked all the recordings in the community that day and found a suspect from that.”

Suspect?

Hearing this, Song Qinglan couldn’t help but ask, “The case wasn’t solved?”

Ji Yushi nodded lightly to confirm this. He was a little dazed, as if he was immersed in his memory.

He then turned his head and said to Song Qinglan, “That morning, the murderer and I passed by each other in the corridor.”

Song Qinglan’s breathing stopped. He suddenly felt his chest tighten, “………”

In 1439, how old was Ji Yushi?

Probably only eight years old.

Ji Yushi didn’t speak too excitedly or sadly. He just spoke as a matter of factly, “I was too young at the time and didn’t see the murderer’s face. Even after suffering from hyperthymesia and becoming able to recall many things, I could only remember the murderer’s clothes and walking posture that day, not his face. It was because I didn’t see it that day.”

Ji Yushi’s hyperthymesia.

Song Qinglan remembered that Ji Yushi had mentioned that his hyperthymesia wasn’t something he had from birth when they were in the rainforest. It was something he had acquired one day and he suddenly found that he could remember all his experiences and all the details.

Well then, was Ji Yushi’s hyperthymesia because of this?

A childhood trauma. Despite desperately recalling and being able to recall all the details, he was unable to change that fact.

How despairing must that have been?

Unable to imagine how a child could handle something like this, Song Qinglan finally understood why Ji Yushi grew up to become what he is today.

Not having the ability to forget.

It was a very cruel thing for people with great pain.

“Later, I was adopted by my father’s friend, who is my current teacher.” Ji Yushi said, “He is a very excellent psychologist. It could be said that without him, there wouldn’t be the me now.”

Song Qinglan, “That’s the person who called you just now?”

Ji Yushi nodded, “Yes. With the help of my teacher, I joined Tianqiong and became a Recorder.”

Song Qinglan understood.

Only after performing 100 Recorder missions, passing the test of time and becoming a Recorder who can be truly indifferent in the face of history, could Ji Yushi be allowed to return to that day to face his father’s death. The reward he wanted was to remember the murderer’s appearance. Even if it was more than ten years too late, he still wanted justice.

For all his life until now, this had been Ji Yushi’s goal. He was clearly suffering from hyperthymesia, but he would continue to go back to the past again and again, filling his mind with irrelevant scenes, only relying on that small source of hope to endure through the pain.

When a person’s life goal is too heavy, one would become very lonely, as if apart from this goal, there was nothing else in life that mattered.

In the terrible world filled with zombies and black walls, Ji Yushi didn’t give up.

In the crevice of time where everything didn’t make sense, Ji Yushi didn’t give up.

But this time, he almost gave up.

Song Qinglan understood how tempting that call just now must’ve been for Ji Yushi.

At the same time, he seemed to understand what he meant by ‘I don’t have that kind of reality’.

Although Ji Yushi had already returned to his senses, Song Qinglan was certain that he had seriously thought about giving up when he received that phone call, and he must have seriously considered the idea of staying in this reality.

It was because Ji Yushi knew. The reality here was only different starting from fifteen years ago. For Ji Yushi, as long as they could return to 1439 to complete his goal, it didn’t matter to him which reality he was in.

What was it that made Ji Yushi change his mind?

Song Qinglan couldn’t guess, but he was glad.

He tried to keep the atmosphere from becoming too heavy, “Advisor Ji, if I knew you earlier……”

Ji Yushi’s clear eyes looked over at him, “?”

Ji Yushi’s momentarily stunned look was actually a little cute. Song Qinglan for some reason felt his heart soften inside.

In fact, his next line was ‘I could accompany you sooner’, but just as it reached his lips, he felt that it wasn’t appropriate, so Song Qinglan cleared his throat, “If I knew you earlier, I would’ve asked them to transfer you over to the seventh squad earlier. That way, you would be able to complete your task earlier and go back to that day sooner, and not be stuck waiting around here with me. In summary, it was my fault.”

Ji Yushi: “………”

This form of consolation was too clumsy.

*

As they spoke, Song Qinglan’s phone rang. It was Duan Wen.

Ji Yushi had almost been abducted by this reality just now and they hadn’t had the chance to contact their teammates to tell them to be vigilant yet. This call came just in time.

On the way to the station earlier, Ju Yushi had used Song Qinglan’s phone to send information about Chief Wang to everyone. It was unknown whether everyone managed to recall their other memory just like them.

The two looked at each other. Song Qinglan picked it up, “Old Duan.”

Duan Wen spoke hurriedly, “Cap Song, I’m currently with Tang Qi and Tang Le. Where are you two?”

In the corner of his eyes, he saw Ji Yushi rub his earlobe. That small action made the corners of Song Qinglan’s lips curl up slightly. He didn’t mention the matter about Ji Yushi and just said, “We were delayed a little on our way back and are now waiting for the next train. We should soon arrive at Jiang City. Have you guys looked through that document?”

“Yes!” Duan Wen seemed to be smoking. He took a long drag, “One question. Is this damned world our original world or not?”

Song Qinglan answered, “I’m afraid not.”

Duan Wen, “…….Damn.”

Old Duan couldn’t be blamed for being unable to accept this. What should he do about his wife and daughter?

The phone was taken by Tang Le. Tang Le exclaimed through the phone, “Cap Song, we have a little sister now. Can you believe it?”

Song Qinglan narrowed his eyes, “The legendary Tang Rongrong?”

The twins were called Tang Qi and Tang Le.

The two boys often fought when they were young and every time they didn’t like each other, they would urge their parents to give birth to a younger sister and call her Rongrong. Together, it would become QiLeRongRong. (KKnotes: Something like joy and harmony)

When Tang Le was being scolded by Tang Qi, he would always make something out of nothing and say that his younger sister was better.

Unexpectedly, they really did have a younger sister in this reality.

Once their double memories overlapped, this younger sister also became real in Song Qinglan’s memory. She was a lively and lovely girl and very good at acting coquettish.

Tang Le exclaimed, “Yes! And she’s really called Tang Rongrong!”

The voice on the phone changed. This time it was Tang Qi, “Chun’er’s phone is off. Old Duan called him but no one answered so we don’t know what’s happening on his end. Cap Song, what should we do now?”

The team members had deep trust for each other. After learning about the truth, their first question wasn’t whether or not they should return or why this happened. Instead, they asked ‘what should we do now’.

Even Song Qinglan as the captain was a little touched.

But rough men like them don’t dwell on emotional matters for too long. He said, “We can only take one step at a time and act separately. Old Duan, go to the nursing home.”

This world interfered with ‘observing’ behaviours at an astonishing speed. Before they even arrived at Jiang City, a phone call had grasped Ji Yushi’s weakness and almost made him stay behind.