Chapter 49 Chapter 49 (1/2)
Who Am I
Chapter 49
Ji Yushi’s reaction was very weak. He had said that line without any hesitation, as if it was something he had thought about thousands of times inside and there was no burden for him to say it at all.
It was too abnormal.
It wasn’t like the usual Ji Yushi.
Song Qinglan’s voice now carried a trace of anxiety, “Why don’t you? You have parents, colleagues, friends and also your older brother —- Didn’t we run into him earlier?”
As the two confronted each other, it was like Ji Yushi was caught between something. Every part of his body was stiff and even his breathing was shallow.
Hearing that question, his eyelashes trembled slightly. His expression however remained the same.
He was clearly a little shaken.
Seeing his reaction, Song Qinglan said again, “Otherwise, you also have people you are in a relationship with. If you’re gone, what will happen to them?”
Three turning into one, it really wasn’t something a straight man could bear to listen to.
Song Qinglan felt that it didn’t seem appropriate. This example wasn’t good enough.
He paused and quickly skipped over the topic. He tried his best to focus on the main issue, “Everyone has a reality that truly belongs to them and everyone has a life that belongs to them. Think about it, do you really not have a single thing you want to accomplish in your real reality? For example, your dream or something you have been pursing for a long time? If you give up now, what will become of those years of hard work——”
His words reached an abrupt stop here. Song Qinglan was left stunned because Ji Yushi’s eyelashes trembled slightly, and a tear slipped down at an extremely fast speed.
Song Qinglan had never seen anyone’s tears fall so fast and so straightforwardly.
Along with the shock, his heart squeezed tightly, sending pain throughout his chest.
Song Qinglan only now reacted. What did he mean by there was no such reality?
Was Ji Yushi’s life not as happy as he had imagined?
Such extremely pessimistic words were spoken by Ji Yushi himself. It meant that it wasn’t just an emotional outburst and likely a fact.
He had clearly been the one who was inexplicably thrown away and he should be the one feeling angry and wronged but after Song Qinglan realised this, he felt at loss. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t form a proper sentence and even felt a little panicked.
He raised his hand and then lowered it back down.
Song Qinglan was frustrated. Dammit, why hadn’t anyone taught him how to comfort someone?!
Ji Yushi actually wasn’t crying.
Those tears were physiological. Like a handful of snow on a pine leaf shaken off by the wind and disappearing the moment it falls onto the snow below, it was only a drop and that was it.
Compared to crying, it was more like an instinct.
For some reason, despite being so close, Song Qinglan found that he couldn’t just reach out to touch Ji Yushi’s face and he couldn’t wipe away Ji Yushi’s tears.
It was as if, as long as he touched Ji Yushi, something would completely shatter.
Ji Yushi’s eyes that appeared translucent under the light just continued to look at him.
Those eyes were wet, but they were colder than ever before. Ji Yushi said, “Here, I can have everything I want.”
Song Qinglan, “But you don’t belong here!”
Ji Yushi, “It doesn’t matter which reality I’m in.”
He had been bewitched.
“Ji Yushi!”
Song Qinglan couldn’t hold back anymore, He wiped away the inconspicuous tears with his thumb. He didn’t know why his hands felt hot. Even the tips of his fingers trembled slightly.
He seemed to have understood something but right now wasn’t the time for Song Qinglan to think about it. He only said in a deep voice, “It’s very important!! Who you are is very important! Even if you don’t have that kind of reality like you said, you still have us. Me, Chun’er, Duan Wen…..The six people in the seventh squad are waiting for you. You can’t have your heart disturbed by that one phone call, it’s all fucking fake—–”
One phone call.
Those words entered Ji Yushi’s ears.
In an instant, his pupils dilated slightly and, gradually, his entire body visibly relaxed.
“Fake.”
He said.
The tense string in his mind had broken off. Ji Yushi gradually returned to his senses. As if he had lost all strength, he fell onto Song Qinglan’s shoulder, “Cap Song, it’s that phone call…..”
Song Qinglan who had unexpectedly found himself used as a support froze in place.
The other party was almost completely in his embrace.
There was a faint scent entering his nose. It came from Ji Yushi’s hair.
Ji Yushi didn’t seem to notice anything wrong about this as he lightly caught his breath. When his mind was clear again, he found himself covered in cold sweat.
He belatedly felt a little afraid.
If Song Qinglan hadn’t caught up to him, he might have really fallen for that fatal temptation.
Ji Yushi rested his head against Song Qinglan’s shoulder and said both quickly and briefly, “There was something wrong with that phone call. It captured what I desired and after I hung up, that was the only thought left in my mind. Nothing else mattered anymore.”
The crisis was averted. Sure enough, it was the phone call.
Song Qinglan breathed a sigh of relief, “Fuck.”
This position allowed his chin to rest on top of Ji Yushi’s head. He didn’t know how to respond in a situation like this.
Ji Yushi didn’t move so Song Qinglan could only reluctantly raise his hand and pat the other party’s back, “It’s good that you’ve returned to your senses. We should let Old Duan and the others know and let them be more vigilant.”
Ji Yushi made a sound of agreement, but he still didn’t move.
The hand Song Qinglan was about to lower hesitated.