318 309 Some people thought of something when they looked at their backs (1/2)

Tokorozawa Masaru side

I've been struggling a lot lately.

I'm trying to take the initiative to do something, but I don't know what to do.

Recently, I've come to think that doing something for someone else may be an altruistic act, even if it's of your own volition.

Maybe that's why.

I'm jealous and envious of Jiro-san.

I don't think I should really feel that way.

But through this case, I clearly understand these two feelings in my heart.

You can't do everything, but you are willing to try everything.

And a firm sense of self.

An attitude that makes you want to follow them, even when it is dangerous.

None of that is mine.

And so it is with this one.

Why is that so easy to admit.

I quit the person.

I lived and was a person as a matter of course, and then I wasn't. And yet, you don't seem to care about that.

I think he's trying not to worry about us.

But on the other hand, I wonder if we are so unreliable.

.........

While I was thinking about this, I felt a pain in my fingertips.

I'm thinking, ”I did it. ......... I don't know where the plaster is.

If you look at your thumb, you'll see a red line.

I thought it was the last time I cut my hand with a knife, but it was not a serious wound, so I didn't rush to find the first aid kit.

I took out a bandage from the first aid kit I found and applied it.

If only magic could work, I wouldn't have to do this.

I gently hold my hand over my plastered thumb, but of course no magic will be activated.

This is a house in Japan where there is no magic.

The father rarely comes home for work and the mother is used to spending time in a big house, though I don't know where she is.

I was just cooking something to send to the south.

Although I started cooking in junior high school, it seems that I had an aptitude for this kind of cooking, but I have no trouble with it.

If you don't make this kind of food, South will starve to death.

......... South, huh?

She is starting to get cleaned up recently.

Her usual behavior was so unmotivated that it seemed to be a joke, but since she started working for the company, she seems to be changing little by little.

There is a trigger for a woman to change.

Even I understand that.

I wonder if I have found someone I like.

Does it mean that a woman is trying to be beautiful or is she in love?

I must admit, when I saw Minami dressed up for dance practice, I was in love with her.

I didn't know she was this beautiful, and I wondered if she was someone else.

But afterwards, I realized that this beautiful woman was Minami.

No, no, what were you thinking?

I shake my head in a panic thinking about why she would be so beautiful.

South is south.

She's a childhood friend, she's always been a gloomy soul, she's always read books, and she's always asked me for help when I was in trouble, so...

What's your excuse?

You feel foolish for denying your feelings to anyone, and you return to cooking.

This time you finish the preparation without cutting your fingers and proceed with the cooking, all you have to do is to simmer it over low heat.

When this is done, all you have to do is put the food in a box and go south to your house.

What's wrong with me lately.

I think I'm doing what I've always done, but I'm not confident in what I'm doing.

Especially since meeting Midori again.

”Ah, Masaru. Long time no see, how are you?

It's been three or four years since we were in middle school.

When I saw her again, she was still very mature, but she became more mature and beautiful.

I was happy to think that I had been able to have a relationship with such a person, even if only for a short time, and I missed her.

The smile she showed me when we met again was so beautiful, and I was shocked to see her.

Even though I was rejected so easily, I should have dismissed it as inevitable, but the fact that she remembers me and is single swept my thoughts around.

But I don't know why.

I was nostalgic and honestly embarrassed, but I didn't hold it any longer.

That beautiful smile, a smile that is somehow different from the old one, seems to be appealing to my mind in some way.

I don't know what it is.

Oh God, what is this feeling?

I don't know how to let out these misty emotions, not that I'm irritated, but I don't know what to do with them, and combined with Jiro-san, my emotions are still muddled.

I'm trying to be normal as usual, but my emotions are scattered all over the place.

The same goes for Jiro, who doesn't rely on me easily even though it's important.

The same is true of Minami, who doesn't understand why she's becoming beautiful even though she's been relying on you all along.

The same is true of Midori who appears out of nowhere and tries to treat you as she did in the past.

And most importantly .

I don't know what to do, what to do.

No matter what you do, it doesn't work.

And yet the environment around you keeps changing.

You are left behind, and the people around you are getting farther and farther away.

You want to scream it out loud, but you can't do that, and you have to stop yourself.

When you ask why, you can't find the reason as clearly as a baby's waste.

Really, what can I do?

I don't know what I can do.

I know how to talk to you, but I ”don't know” who to talk to about these feelings.

Tokorozawa Masaru side End

Shiretoko South side

Well, I never thought the day would come when I would invite my girlfriends to my room, that I did. Come on, let's go up. It is a small room, that it is, but the room is clean, that it is.　Because Katsura cleaned up the mess yesterday, that he did.

Hahaha, is that a good idea? Minami-chan

”Don't worry about it, that I don't mind - I always do, that I do.

When I opened the front door in my roomy loungewear, there was Amie dressed up a bit.

Since it was the beginning of spring, she was dressed in brighter colors such as white and pink.

Since Amie is often athletic, I thought that she wears comfortable clothes that are easy to move around in, but she also has such girlish clothes.

The fact that she is wearing make-up makes her look even more feminine.

In a sense, I've left half of the women behind, washed my face and fixed my gaze, but I'm still naked, and although I'm comfortable, I'm still gray and dull, which is a far cry from the way I look.

I don't care, I don't care about it, and if I do, I'll lose,” she says, waving her hand in the air, inviting her in and leading her to her room.

It's a one-room apartment, after all.