197 193 When I dont have time, I have to make a big decision (2/2)

You guys need to be a little quieter.

I'm being teased by Minami.

Kitamiya chastises them both as if they were dumbfounded.

And speaking of Katsu who turned last.

Are you still troubled?

”Yes.

...... I want to help you, but do you want to kill people to help you? But do you want to kill people to help them?

”...... yes

I have no answers.

Normally, I don't think you should take him if you can't make a decision at this stage.

But while it would be easy to tell you not to follow me, I know that it would cause a strong sense of alienation for Katsu, who is at an impressionable age.

So.

How can you guys make a decision so easily?

It's not easy, though.

I somehow knew this question was going to come up.

Like me, Minami, Kitamiya and Kaido have some differences, but they have built their own criteria for judgment through life experience.

The degree of that construction made the difference in this decision.

From Masaru's point of view, it may seem that we are making a quick and easy decision in a short period of time, but I correct that this is not the case.

”I've had my own troubles, but there are things I'm responsible for and things I don't agree with in this case. I took that into account when I made the decision to go help Amelia. And I wanted to understand what would happen along the way, and if I was willing to take that risk.

You know what?　Sheng is a little confused if you ask

I don't know.

I reply.

I chuckle and say, ”That's good.

”That's good,

I affirmed that answer.

I smile at Katsu looking at me with a question mark.

”This is a choice that comes from my values. There will be people who will say my actions are wrong from a common sense standpoint.

I talk to Katsu, asking him what I'm trying to say.

That's why people are troubled. Is this really the right thing to do?　I wonder if this behavior is right. And that worry creates its own criteria for judgment. Failure and success make us human.

Katsu was not yet equipped with enough criteria to make a decision on this matter, that's all.

No, if this were true, I wouldn't have allowed a high school student to make such a decision about whether or not to stand on the battlefield.

The standards I had built up in my life helped me prepare for it. So I could make the decision.

I don't have it?

Yeah, if you're lost, you must be. But, win. That's not a mistake. There's no shame in not being able to make a decision now. This is a decision you shouldn't have to make if you plan to live normally in Japan. There are plenty of things in the world you can't say no to even if you think you can't, but sometimes you have to say no to them. What and how you decide is your personal value, and how you deal with the situation when it is contrary to your values is an adaptive instinct that is necessary for you to live. In other words, how to live is a lifelong conundrum. Even I have to worry, stop, go forward, and worry again, and again. There is no easy way to decide.

This time, the environment was bad .

There is nothing wrong with the hesitation of victory.

It's too early to let the balance of life's values tilt in the balance.

So you know, it's not wrong that you don't have an answer for this one.

So good, and still unconvinced, Katsura's face seems to imagine what I'm going to say afterwards, and asks me if I'm going to leave you behind.

”I'm sorry, Katsura, but I'll leave you behind this time. Even if you said you would go now, I would not take you.

”......

I'm very clear on that question.

Katsu doesn't ask why.

Katsu is smart.

He knows that being lost will slow me down at this point.

But I can't help feeling that I won't be there to help my colleague, to help Amelia.

Whether it's pettiness or frustration, Katsu is desperately trying to swallow the frustration that's spilling out of him.

Don't look at me like that.

”Ite

I lightly decapitate Katsura's forehead.

”I told you, you're not wrong. No one is going to tell you that you're not on board because you didn't go to help Amelia at this point. And besides, you have an important role to play.

”Role?

Oh, you look unhappy with your important role as an answering machine waiting for you to come home. I'm not stupid enough to be an answering machine.

I think that Katsu's words sounded like he was just saying the right thing in a comforting way, and his brow began to wrinkle even more than usual as I explained with a wry smile.

It's comforting to know that someone is waiting for you to come home. For me it's Suela and Memoria. But it's also a place where you can stand. And if Kaido and the others knew you were waiting for them, it would help dispel the thought of giving up at the last minute.

The word ”comforting” is not as foolish as it seems.

A little piece of mind can make the difference.

I've learned through battle that that margin is a lifeline.

Hearing my words, Kaido, Minami and Kitamiya nodded in agreement.

We await the good news, that we do.

I'll show you how senior I am.

Well, if Jiro-san is right and Masaru is waiting for you, you can relax.

That's not a lie.

Acting alone is light, but when someone is waiting for you behind it, it becomes a weight that prompts you to act cautiously.

Understanding this, Masaru closed his eyes once, took a deep breath, and said.

”Okay. I'll wait for you.

He opened his eyes and said as if to blow away his worries.

Oh, I'll take care of it. We'll have a party when we get Amelia home.

I was told to laugh and hope that I did not betray that decision.

Word of the Day

You have to make decisions and decisions in a small amount of time, but I never thought I'd see the day when I'd have to make a decision like this.