52 51. The fighting spirit obtained by Aikawa Whirlpool.txt (1/2)

Yesterday, after an attack by Mr. Hein, Rustyala left for Hoozeyers.

From the way she spoke, I thought she would be back soon, but we waited until nightfall and she didn't show up.

Today is the day before the Nativity.

It's only morning, but I can hear people's voices from outside the house. The city seems to be getting excited for the climax of the day, the Nativity.

I pick myself up out of bed to quench my dry throat.

I whip my lazy body into shape and head for the living room of the house.

And when I open the door to the living room - just in time to see a young girl trespassing through the window - it's Rastiala.

It was Rastiara.

I'm surprised, and she looks equally surprised and waves at me.

'Ah. Oh, good morning, Christ......

'Oh, oh ....... Good morning.

I guess he didn't expect to meet me at this time.

Rastiara enters the living room in a panic and walks to the storage room in the back.

I look at her, calming my rapidly beating heart. Apparently, she's scavenging for bread for breakfast.

With the bread in her hands, Rustyala takes her place at the living room table.

I sit at the same table and call out to Rustiala as she chews on her bread.

'Rastiara, I need to talk to you. ......

Mm-hmm?　The story?　Okay.

'It's about tomorrow's nativity.

”Uh-huh.

Rustyala looks light, prompting my next words.

I stare at it calmly and ask only the most important question.

”Tomorrow, will you vacate your ...... body to Saint Tiara?

Hearing this, Rustyala's appearance did not change.

Her perfectly created beauty never distorts.

Yeah. I will.

He nodded in his usual light tone.

Hearing that, I contorted my face.

My emotions were so disturbed that I could see it in myself.

I do my best to remain calm and return the words.

'I'll do that ....... I heard that if you do that, Rustyala will disappear and disappear.

Oh, I knew you'd ask. Did Hein or someone else tell you that?

If you don't deny it, it's true: ......

If possible, I wanted Lastiara to deny it.

I wanted her to laugh and answer that such a thing was a lie. That way, I could rest easy and continue exploring the labyrinth like I did yesterday.

''I thought I was going to surprise you, so I didn't tell you.

'I'm trying to surprise you ......, that's not even the point. ......!

'I was looking forward to seeing what Christ would look like when he suddenly had Saint Tiara as a companion.

Fun is ....... Then you won't be there but .......

I let out a voice as if I were squeezing it out.

I felt like that voice was trembling.

I couldn't help but be annoyed with Rustyala, who continued to laugh and talk as usual.

''It's okay, it's okay, Saint Tiara is me too. Even though I'm a saint tiara, I'm still Christ's mate. You don't have to worry about me.''

Sensing my irritation, Rastiara says that it won't interfere with the labyrinth search.

My irritation grows at that off-base statement.

''No!　That's not what I'm talking about!　I'm asking you about the fact that when you become a saintly tiara, your consciousness will be gone and you'll be gone. ......!　Do you understand that right?

I couldn't hold back and raised my voice.

'It seems so. 'I know,'

It was just passed off like a willow.

Rastiara was as cool and quiet as a leaf blowing in the wind.

'Apparently it's ......!　Are you good at that?

'Okay (...). ...... because the meaning of my life is to be one with Saint Tiara. I admire Saint Tiara. I think it's a great hero who has saved a lot of people and I love his life, his story. If you think I can be that hero too, I'm not complaining. I have no resistance to that. It's more of an honor.

Hearing that excessive faith, I am reminded of Mr. Hein's words.

--'Made up'.

Indeed, it's a belief in a clean and crazy saintly tiara that can only be considered made up.

'Isn't that because you've been educated to do so?　Normally, if you told me you'd disappear, I'd be a little more resistant. The way you look at you, it's like you've been brainwashed.

'...... Yeah, I'm sure you are. I know (・・・・・), I know I'm biased. But that's just who I am. Even if it's education or brainwashing, that's who I am. Do you deny that everything I've lived through to this day, even Christ (・・・・・), is 'made up' and 'fake'?　To me, that's all I am, and you deny it?

And Rastiala said it doesn't matter if it's education or brainwashing.

There is no hesitation there.

He has a clear will of his own.

He appears to have a supple ego to the core.

......!

I'm confused.

I don't know the line of demarcation.

I don't know the boundary line between what Mr. Hein calls 'made Rustyala' and 'true Rustyala'.

That's why I can't deny Rastiara's determination without thinking about it.

If you try to deny the ”made Rustyala” and then deny the ”true Rustyala” that you were born with, it will be all for naught.

I had no choice but to reply in anguished tones.

'Ho, really?　Are you sure that's what you want?

I pathetically repeat the same thing.

Rustyala takes it firmly and looks straight at me and tries to answer--

'Of course. I was born as a vessel of Saint Tiara and raised as a vessel of Saint Tiara. The meaning of my life is saint Tiara and to be ...... definitely ...... the meaning of my life. That is what ...... is all about.

-- a fade falls on his face as he repeats the process.

'That's ......, I .......'

Rustyala looked uneasy.

Suddenly, he couldn't accept what he was saying and was anxious.

Something similar had happened before.

Even when they became friends in the tavern, he had changed his mind around while talking.

Rustyala is visibly unsure of himself. Like an unstable, stagnant sky, it keeps clearing and falling. That's what Rustyala Hoosiers .......

The ego, which I thought was supple, was now shaken beyond recognition.

That's just the way I am .......

Rastiara muttered and shushed him as his eyes wandered.

Looking at that situation, I understood the true nature of Rastiara's instability.

In other words, the way the 'made Rustyala' and the 'real Rustyala' were eroding each other was the true nature of the instability.

If you repeat the same problem over and over again, the made Rustiala and the real Rustiala will fight with each other and have different answers. That is the reason for the madness that Rastiara has.

'Apparently ......!　You don't know better, do you?　You're wavering, you're lost, you don't know what the right thing to do is.

Thinking it's an opportunity to make Rustyala reconsider, I add my words in a flurry of arrows.

But the next moment.

In front of me was Rustyala with a radiant face.

''--Hmmm. That's not true. I'll be a Saint Tiara. I'm going to go on that heart-pounding adventure, defeat powerful enemies, and go through all sorts of encounters and goodbyes to become the hero that everyone longs for. I will be that hero!　It must be so great!

Rustyala, leaning all the way to one side, laughs with crazy eyes.

I'm pressured by it and flinch. I know it, but I'm speechless in the face of a leopard's change, as if something has possessed me.

'It's great, of course, I'm here ......'

And, as expected, Rustyala felt weak again.

'Ho, ho!　You're not sure, are you?　He's afraid to sacrifice himself!

I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of dying. 'You know that Christ saw me fighting in the labyrinth.　I'm not soft enough to cower like that.

This time, I was suddenly very bullish.

I sensed a definite condition.

When I tried to deny tomorrow's ritual, the 'made Lastiara' in Lastiara was coming out.

But this is going in circles.

No matter how many times you repeat it, you will never be able to convince Rastiara that it's the ritual in the end.

-- that's how Rastiala has become (・・・・・・) (・・・・・).

I repeat weakly in the face of what Palinclone was saying about the continually adjusted results.

'...... Really, that's what you want to do?'

'It's not just me, you know. Everyone in the Cathedral, everyone in the Hoosiers!　I'm waiting for Saint Tiara!　People's thoughts are in my body!

Rustyala smiles and shouts and answers - quietly showing his will.

'So I will undergo the ritual.'

...... I still think we should reject it.

I show the opposite back.

I know it's useless, but I couldn't help but say it.

However, no matter how much we glare at each other, Rustyala doesn't try to bend his will.

I know this because we've been together for a long time. Rastiara with this expression would never retreat. He will carry out his will while wearing his madness.

I can see that.

I know ahead of time that I can't convince Rastiara that I can't convince him.

Then a certain amount of silence passes, and when I'm about to give up the discussion - Rastiara breaks the silence.

Her expression changes from her stout face to one of clinging.

I thought it was just another emotional reaction. But it was different.

”-- If ...... can (...), can Christ help me?　Is Hein right, will you and I travel together somewhere far away and different?

Rustyala's eyebrows drop and she stares up at me as if to sweeten the deal.

It's the first time I've seen a girlish Rustyala that shows such femininity and is appropriate for her age. I'm surprised to see her eyes wide open.

She looks like a child, I thought.

At the same time, I was hoping that this was the ”real Rastiara” that hadn't been made.

But only then did I get a question that I couldn't answer. I have to reach the 'deepest' part of the labyrinth and 'return'. And yet, there is no way we can travel far away together.

'It's ......'

Seeing me stammering, Rustyala asks more questions.

'Can you turn all the knights of the Confederacy against the country called Hoosiers?　Can you break up tomorrow's ritual?　Are you going to risk all sorts of things to help me?

It was as if all of those questions sounded like a plea (・・・・・・・) rather than a question.

I have an auditory hallucination.

'-- will you be the hero of my story?'

I have a vision of a young child crying.

There's no doubt about it.

I didn't make that up. This is the voice of Rastiara.

If you respond to this voice, you can attract the real Rastiara and have a real conversation with her. If we can communicate with it, we can convince it. I'm sure of it.

This is our chance to persuade them.

This is the only time.

But I have to--

And I can't answer it.

I can't answer even one of these core questions.

Just as Rastiara has a purpose and meaning in life, I also have a purpose and meaning in life.

My purpose and meaning of life, which is to 'return' - to protect my family, and my plea for it, are in opposite directions.

Remorse, morality, duty, selfishness and many other things pull at my body and do not allow me to even flinch.

Rustyala's face is clouded when he sees me not moving even slightly.

Her face clouded for a moment.

A small amount of time that is only enough for a shooting star to fall.

-- In that instant, the time for my words to reach her was over.

Rustyala returns to her usual jovial expression.

Then, as usual, he laughs off (・・・・・・).

'Ha, ha, I'm just kidding ....... You don't have to do that. I know Christ can't afford to do that ....... Christ is full of himself all by himself, you know.

I'm done .......

I couldn't answer it.

I can't reach it anymore.

Despite Mr. Hein's advice, I couldn't say anything to him.

'I won't tell you that Christ is a 'candidate', so I won't push you. You don't have that kind of righteousness or responsibility.

Rustyala returns to his usual routine and throws the remaining bread into his mouth.

As usual, he's unsteady, unsettled, blurred, and quick to change what he's saying, Rustyala.

'Well, wait. Rustyala, I'm not ready to talk--'

'At any rate, it might be okay. There's a case where I could crush Saint Tiara's consciousness in reverse. I don't know what will happen. I'm pretty strong too.

Optimistically positive, Rustyala laughs and talks about tomorrow.

He's not likely to listen to me anymore.