Chapter 390 (2/2)
P'Thok had read the Republic codes and reviewed enough human media, as well as met enough humans, to know that what he was hearing was a little human girl, pre-pubescent, probably without all of her mastication dentition.
”Please, Mister P'Thok, help me, he kidnapped me from my bed after he gave me milk and cookies and patted my head!” the young human female's voice called out.
P'Thok pulled his plasma pistol free and hurried up the tube.
The lights at the sides of the tube began flashing and the walls of the tube began to rotate as tinkling music that was slightly upbeat began playing.
”My trap is clever and cruel,” the male voice said. ”Boarding my ship is something you'll rue!”
P'Thok adjusted his hat with one hand and pushed off of the airlock door, floating upwards.
”You think you've beaten my swirly-hulry deadly murdly but our battle has yet to begin as we leave in a hurry!” the male voice said.
The ship began to vibrate and P'Thok found himself drifting back down as the ship began to move under its own power.
”Now you know not what to do as you discover the trap is for you!” the voice said.
”Oh, no, Mister P'Thok, because trouble I'm in,” the little girl said. ”How to help you, I don't know where to begin!”
P'Thok squinted, watching the way the steps and grips were moving. The swirl on the sides was interesting, but his compound eyes easily compensated for the movement. The footpads were steadily moving, the lights flashing, and the music was obviously supposed to be slightly disorienting.
But was he not P'Thok? Master of the agility tester and high scorer admired by warriors and ladies alike?
P'Thok adjusted his hat again, checked the charge on his pistol, and took the time to light a cigarette.
”Tobacco is bad for even bugs,” the male voice said. ”You'd be better off relying on hugs.”
P'Thok swarmed up the tube, easily finding footing. It wasn't even as hard as the middle levels of the agility trainer machine, when you tested your footwork against a large green lemur with tusks.
”Your deceit and duplicity knows no bounds!” the voice said as P'Thok reached the airlock to the bridge. He slapped the open panel as the voice continued. ”You cannot...”
P'Thok expected to see a human on the other side of the door.
The being on the other side of the door was tall, skinny, green furred, with burning yellow eyes, a tuft of mangy green hair on the top of the head, and long fingers. It looked weirdly greasy and abrasive at the same time and had a mouth full of yellow snaggly teeth that were somehow weirdly repellent to P'Thok. It had on a conical hat with a long tassel, made of red cloth, with a white border on the creature's head and a white puffball at the end.
P'Thok had seen humans.
He knew it was no human.
He could see the immature female, wearing some kind of long clothing that was one piece, covered with a pattern of fruits and vegetables, her long yellow hair in curls and her blue eyes wide. She was tied to one of the chairs at the far left of the bridge.
”...save the girl or Christmas...” the creature said, the viewscreen behind him showing the swirling colors of jumpspace.
P'Thok shot it through its open mouth and put two more shots into the creature's body.
It crashed to the ground, falling backwards into a box covered in bright and festive wrapping paper. The lid closed as P'Thok tossed an implosion grenade into the box.
The box vanished with a sucking sound, sparkles of protomatter spinning and twirling in mid-air for a second before vanishing.
P'Thok turned to the little human female, spinning the plasma caster twice before holstering it.
”You all right, little lady?” He asked, using the Earthling drawl.
”Yes I am. Thank you, Mister P'Thok,” the little girl said. When P'Thok cut her loose she jumped off the chair. She turned and looked at the screen. She pressed on a button that had a large visualization of a single flake of frozen water precipitation on it. ”Hopefully we can go home where the ship can dock.”
A large hologram appeared, distorted so it was too wide in the middle, only in red or white.
”Take the ship home, please, Babbo Natale?” the girl asked. ”I really want to get home to my family.”
”Ho... ho... ho...” the hologram said.
P'Thok nodded to himself. It was obviously trying to say the Terran word for home but was jammed up.
The little female child turned to P'Thok, facing the fearsome insectiod warrior. ”The VI is broken and sad, we may be in trouble just a tad.”
”Why did he tie you up?” P'Thok asked, moving up and looking at the controls. They looked fairly standard and he was trained in emergency piloting.
”My friends and I saved our local community center,” the girl said. ”He was going to build condos too expensive to be a renter.”
”Oh,” P'Thok said, not really understanding the child. ”What's the cargo?”
”Presents and doodads and decorations galore,” the girl said, hopping up and down. ”Dollies and sleds and stockings and more!”
”Well, I'll see what I can do,” P'Thok said. He stared at the controls. He was pretty sure what he needed to do.
He pressed the button and the ship dropped out of jumpspace.
”Ho... ho... ho...” the VI said, obviously telling P'Thok it was trying to take them home.
The stars glimmered around them, a nearby nebula glowing softly.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY GURDY'S DUCK OIL AND DOCTOR GWARKARKAWT'S FOOT WEBBING CREAM! KEEP YOUR DUCK'S FEATHERS SOFT AND WATERPROOF WITH GURDY'S DUCK OIL AND THEM PADDLING HAPPILY WITH DOCTOR GWARKARKAWT'S PATENTED FOOT WEBBING CREAM!
Will P'Thok be able to pilot the ship? Will the girl get home in time to have roast beast? Who was that foul green creature?
For some of the answers and some other stuff, tune in next time!
Same P'Thok Time, Same P'Thok Channel!
MANTID FREE WORLDS
What are you showing the children?
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TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
How P'Thok Totally On Purpose and Not At All Accidentally Saved Christmas
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
Oh! I love this!
Move over, Cyb.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---