Chapter 391 (1/2)
comes with twelve genuine patented BobCo™ Just Add Water RealCows™, holographic Treana'ad moomoo carers with their own VI, and everything you see here! (batteries not included, please wait 4-12 hours for delivery)
Dee dee dah dee! It's BOOOOOOB-CO!
TELKAN FORGE WORLDS
Is it weird I want one?
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TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
Every time I see that had I have to remember they don't make those any more.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
CYBERNETIC ORGANISM CONSENSUS
Just fab one up. Templates are on GalNet.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
It's just not the same. There's just something about BobCo stuff that templates don't replicate.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
PUBVIAN DOMINION
Cheapness?
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
Don't be such a Grinch.
SIS! HURRY UP! IT'S ABOUT TO BE BACK ON!
There's just... you know... something about old BobCo stuff.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
Don't start without me!
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
We now return to the Sol System Broadcast Network Holiday Special, already in
PUBVIAN DOMINION
IT'S STARTING!
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
Whew. Made it.
Blow on it, it's hot.
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HAMAROOSA PINCHING TIME
What are the white things?
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BIOLOGICAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS
Marshmellows. Hush.
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in progress.
HOW P'THOK TOTALLY ON PURPOSE AND NOT AT ALL ACCIDENTALLY SAVED CHRISTMAS!
The spaceship was drifting as P'Thok looked at the unfamiliar controls. He'd only been on a few Terran ships, most of them captured military vessels, but he was pretty sure that none of them had control buttons and levers like this one.
Half of the buttons were different colored nubs with a clearish looking granular color. Most of the levers were colored with red and white spirals and either ended with a U or a wide multicolored disk. He wasn't precisely sure, but he was starting to think that there was something strange about the spaceship.
P'Thok adjusted his Moomoo tender hat and opened his faceplate, staring down at the controls.
His speed was five times a sparrow's flight but three seconds less than the day after tomorrow.
Chittering nervously he looked again. That made no sense, but he'd heard some Earthlings used bizarre measurements, but that was ridiculous.
”Mister P'Thok, I need to get back home and to my bed,” the little Terran girl said. ”After all, a Christmas story I've already been read.”
”What was the cargo he was stealing so fast?” P'Thok asked. ”I'm pretty sure the fuel in this ship isn't going to last?”
P'Thok frowned and tapped his translator. That last bit sounded weird.
”Presents and whizzbangs and tickle trikes for boys and girls galore,” the girl said, kicking her feet where she was still in the chair. She was wearing a pink one piece suit with foot coverings that P'Thok had to admit looked pretty comfortable. Even the lace collar around her neck. ”Fun stuff and neat stuff and some made with love not bought from a store.”
”Umm, OK,” P'Thok said. He looked at the navigation display. It had all of two markings on it. The ship, which was done in such a way that it looked like candy, and a star marked ”Korvatunturi” underneath it.
P'Thok knew of most of the Terran settlements in the area. He'd just left New Terra with Moomoo's, ice cream, and tobacco, and there wasn't a Korvatunturi anywhere in the sector.
Maybe the ship had a new type of drive?
”I'm going to go check the drive. You stare here, little darling,” P'Thok said, putting on his best Moomoo Carer Terran accent.
”I will Mister P'Thok. I'll watch the clock,” she said, smiling.
P'Thok nodded and went back through the airlock. He hopped from outcropping to outcropping till he got to the bottom. He opened the next airlock and stared.
There were brightly colored packages, festooned with ribbons, everywhere he looked. They were piled haphazardly to the ceiling, in piles, and strewn about. There were large ornamented Terran foot coverings, laying on the floor, stuffed with toys and candy and fruit, some of them the contents spilling out onto the floor.
P'Thok held out his hand, catching a few flakes of frozen condensation on his palm.
The environmental system must be out, he thought to himself. He moved forward, skirting around the boxes and crates, the stockings and stuffings, even passed by a roast beast with all the trimmings that smelled delectable.
There were even evergreen trees festooned with decorations tossed here and there, complete with blinking lights and stars on top.
What primate madness have I found myself involved in? P'Thok wondered.
He passed several rows of compacted frozen precipitation that was fashioned into three spheres, each one smaller than the one beneath, stacked one on top of another. Each one had a black hat with a nifty brim that looked pretty spiffy to P'Thok, while others had small conical hats with a white puffball on the tip like the green thing had been wearing.
P'Thok grabbed one and shoved it in his pocket. Maybe the Matrons would like it.
At the back he opened the door to the engineering section, passing inside. He hit the lights and looked around.
There was fazoozals and caroozals, noomphy pumps and stungee dumps, marvelous condusers and fabulousa transoozters. There were wheedles wheedling and speedlings speeding. A whirling twirling jumping slumping spinning space of whirlamagig of contraptiopns and fantabulations.
P'Thok stared in shock.
Nothing he saw belonged in a spaceship engineering and drive room.
He wasn't even sure what any of it did, and he'd once stolen an armored ice cream transport.
He approached one of the many many many consoles, looking at the labels, which had such strange writing as ”frosting thickening level thickener” and ”creamy filling whipper stiller” and ”choco-pecan-strawberry-injector”.
The intercom clicked. ”Is everything OK down there, Mr. P'Thok?” the little girl asked. ”Of the equipment you should take stock.”
”Um, everything's OK, small Terran female,” he answered, looking around at everything.
He wasn't sure, but it looked like one of the wheels made of sugar and other ingredients had gotten slightly dislodged. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and pushed on it.
It clicked back in place and everything around him began moving. Some equipment whistled, others chimed a merry tune, and still more began turning or pumping or clacking or clanking.
P'Thok rushed out of the room and closed the door behind him, slumping against it and sighing. He brought out a cigarette and lit it, standing next to the stacked frozen water, and puffed at it.
”The tinsel drive is almost charged up,” the little Earth girl said over the intercom. ”I'm making cocoa would you like a cup?”
”Um, yes?” P'Thok said.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THESE MESSAGES!
LEEBAW CONTEMPLATION POOL
Did this really happen?