Chapter 125 - Ray’s Thoughts (1/2)

I don't clearly remember how I fell in love with her but I knew that it won't fade away  so easily. She was the bright sun above my head, always being cheerful, ready to show me the light in my darkest hour. My parents were constantly busy with their work. They hardly stayed at home. I grew up with the woeful seclusion. When I needed them most, I found myself alone, fighting with this agitated life. But it's okay now. I learned to live with my loneliness.

Then I met this girl who changed my world. She became a very essential part of my life. Suddenly I don't feel like sulking anymore. Stella was very strange. Her personality is something that makes people attract towards her. She's friendly and open minded. Easy to get along. We also started off as friends. The more I spend time with her, the more I felt abstention from the relentless existence.

That's why I was slowing growing these feeling in my heart.

It was during the lunch break. Me and Stella were both sitting alone at our usual spot, since none of our friends came to join us. That day I had so many things going on my head as I fought with my parents.

” Don't you get tired from all this?” Out of the blue, I asked her something very peculiar.

” From what?”

” Your parents of course. They are just taking away your freedom.”

” But I'm still happy. ” Giving me a fake smile, she replied.

” Do you ever feel like running away from your problems?” I asked her with keen eyes.

” Damn. I wish I could, but it's not possible. So, try to get along with your problems. That way it'll be less stressful.” As expected, she tried to change the topic swiftly. I never heard her bad mouthing her parents. After all she's trying to get along with her problems which are her parents.

Isn't that frustrating?

I want her to tell me about everything just like I did to her. Am I that untrustworthy?

Will I ever get a chance to tell her that I have feelings for her ?

I want to confess my love but I couldn't risk our friendship. It was precious to me more than anything. Time went by although I stayed quite, hiding my feelings into my distinct heart.

Suddenly things changed a little when Stella became friends with Vanessa. From the beginning Stella was a simple girl. But Vanessa helped her to showcase her true beauty. A little amount of makeup was enough to make those boys fall in love with her. Until now no one was interested in her. Stella's popularity increased. Guys were proposing to her.

Unlike those fools, I had already avowed the true worth of her. Because I fell in love with her soul which was thousands time more mesmerising than the way she looked. But what's the point? I never told her how much I love her. Maybe this is the time. I should confess to her. She needs to know about my unrequited love.

Then on a remorseful day, I found out something that broke my heart, completely.

Stella was not interested into men. She liked girls which was a shocking discovery for me. That was the reason why she kept on refusing those boys although I never saw her with any girl. The guy Vanessa liked, he proposed to Stella. Of course it made her extremely furious. Vanessa spread baseless rumours about Stella. Later on Stella confess about her sėxuȧŀ orientation.

This incident put a crack into our friendship. I was not ready to process the whole thing. My untold confession was coerced to stay covert at this point. I begun to avoid her often and eventually I ended up ghosting on her. I left for my college. We were still in touch but things were never normal again between us. In real I wanted to run away from that reality.

My life is Paris was glamorous. I was surrounded by the crowd yet it felt empty. Even though girls were always trying to get closer to me, I never paid any attention. It feels worthless. In my heart there was only one girl and she's gonna stay there forever.