Chapter 44 - Love Drug (1/2)

My eyes opened and faced the bright white painted ceiling. My head was hurting a little, still I sat up on my bed, scratching my head with the palm of my hand.

Jesus! I shouldn't drink like that! It was a terrible experience for me.

On the other hand I get to experience such vivid dream which will never be my reality. If only my dreams were real, life would have been way better. Alas! those things will only be my imagination.

I got down from the bed and realised that I wasn't wearing any clothes which is strange for me. There's never been a day where I went to sleep nȧkėd at least I had my shorts.

With fear and confusion I looked at the bed quickly, hoping that nothing serious happened.

There was few drops of bloods on my white bed sheet, they were dried up—— as if they were stained last night.

Fuck. My. Life.

The memories of my last night, the memories of my dreams, they are all real!

No,no,no,no, it can't be. Not like this! What the hell I have done!?

I grabbed the shorts and put it on quickly. Without even brushing my teeth I went straight towards to Stella's room. When I came in front her room, the door was unlocked. That means she's downstairs. I ran towards the downstairs, walking down the staircase like a manic.

Stella was standing at the dining table. The back side of her body stood still, arranging the plates. I was anxious and scared to call out her name.

What will I say? How will I face her?

” Oh you're awake.” She noticed my intense gaze, burning through her neck.

” Did I.... Did I.... last night... I....” I was chocking on my words, they couldn't get out from my mouth.

” I also have something to say about that. Why don't you go freshen up? I'll come to your room.” Her reply came blank and casual. It was evident that she's going to leave.

Every thing just went wrong. I would have never imagine that I would destroy my own happiness with my own two hands.

I can't believe that I forced myself on a girl. In my whole life I have never done something so disgusting like this. It's even more saddening that the girl I forced myself on, has to be the girl I loved.

How will I face her?

How will I face my mother?

This shameful behaviour of mine, has no worth of being forgiven.

With a very heavy heart I sat on the couch waiting for Stella. As I had written in the contract, we will never have any intimacy or get physical. Now that the rule is broken she will most certainly divorce me and leave the house. I can't even beg her to forgive me. What I did was so cruel. There was a knock on the door but I had left it unlocked so, Stella opened it and came inside.

I was looking down on the floor with shame and contempt, trying to hold back my tears. Honestly this was the most heartbreaking and disgraceful moment of my entire life. I had failed myself as a man, as a son, as a friend, as a lover, as a human.

” So... I know that you may not like what I'm going to say next, but I wanted to tell you that if you agree, we can keep on doing what we did last night.”