Chapter 175 - My SI Stash #75 - Blackjack does the Worm by Xahn (Worm) (1/2)

-SI as a bloody horse. Yes you read it right, SI as a Horse (with some sort of gamer power/cheats) in Brockton Bay.

Sypnosis: ???

Rated: M

Words: 7.5K

Posted on: forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/blackjack-does-the-worm-or-how-armageddon-came-to-brockton.11395/ (Xahn)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1

It's one thing to write about waking up somewhere unfamiliar, in a body that doesn't belong to you, it's an entirely different thing to have it actually happen to you. Of course, it couldn't be as simple as being punted into a videogame character, or a D&D PC. No, you write one story about being reincarnated as a f_u_c_k_i_n_g horse…

I pray to God ROB that I'm not in a death world like Remnant, Worm, 40k, Berserk, Fallout, or worse, the Monster Reincarnation CYOA world. Seriously, P_o_r_noland is the worst. I do not want to **** my way to victory.

Instead of laying in what appears to be a trash filled alley, I stand up, try to shake the despair off, and only succeed in knocking the garbage loose. ”Wait… when I wrote about this I made a joke about bad My Little Pony fics…” I twist my head around to stare at my flank. There it was. A cutie mark. In the shape of a horseshoe. Or… no… God no… please no? But there it was, a stark white Omega branded into my side.

I headbutt the side of the building, causing a worrying amount of damage to the brick work. Worm. F_u_c_k. I kick at the trash on the floor and unearth a newspaper, Brockton Bay Herald, January 11th 2011. I bang my head on the side of the building again, this time shards of stone dig into my forehead.

-1 HP​

”Ow!” what the f_u_c_k. Did… Do I have a health bar? ...And that's when I notice I have a full on HUD, Three color coded bars at the bottom, minimap in one corner compass along the top, and a f_u_c_k_i_n_g quest log in the other corner.

A Learning Experience

Read the F_u_c_kmothering Tutorial

Do something other than standing in an alleyway beating your head against the wall you giant p_u_s_s_y.​

Rude.

”Menu?” Nothing ”System?” Nope. ”Status” Ding

WELCOME

Yes, YOU DIED. How? Doesn't Matter. I was bored. This is your Life now. If you play along I'll be nice. If not? I'll stick you in a time loop a la Doctor Strange, and feed you to Scion.​

​

Okay, my menu is sentient and an evil asshole. And considering the text goes on and on probably a long winded one who likes the sound of his own voice too.

First order of Business! Leveling up! Don't worry, you're not a **** horse. You gain EXP Fighting things, Exploring things, Building things, Learning things and yes F_u_c_k_i_n_g things. Think of the system as the bastard child of Skyrim, The Gamer, and Fallout, in survival mode, on Hardcore difficulty and Ironman mode enabled. Yes you're f_u_c_k_e_d. If you're lucky, in the fun way too.​

So lots of ways to earn experience, but I still need to eat and sleep, and if I f_u_c_k up and die, which'll be easy, it's game over? What did I do to deserve this?

Gain enough EXP and you get to level up. Now in most Survival mode Rpgs (and pre-Fallout 3 Bethesda games) you need to take a nap to level up. Naps are boring! And I'm not interested in watching horses take naps. No, I'm here to watch horses take bitches. You want to level up? You're gonna need to c_u_m. Preferably in something pretty. But I'm a Generous Deity(You can call me… B.O.B.A. F.E.T.T. (That's Short for Bastard of an Omniscient Being And a F_u_c_k_i_n_g Evil Timebending Torturer. Yes it's a stretch. I like it, so f_u_c_k you, oh wait I already am.), I'll let you blow your load how you like wherever you like.​

​

What, the actual, F_u_c_k. I'd ask whose sick idea of a joke this is but apparently he lives in my menus and is constantly spying on me like a demented Santa Claus who is shit at acronyms. That's more of a stretch than the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division...

Granted, You'll get some bonus points if it's in a pretty little v_i_r_g_i_n. Or a MILF, or DILF, I don't judge. I'm less interested if it's in a mindbroken f_u_c_kslave, but if you break a toy that badly, I'll probably have given you some points beforehand anyway.​

NOW! Onto stats you have 13 they are:​

Strength

Dexterity

Agility

Constitution

Endurance

Perception

Wisdom

Willpower

Intelligence

Charisma

L_e_w_d

Luck​

That's a lot of stats, and aren't half of them redundant? Of course this bastard, would make things more complicated than he needed too.

They should be pretty self explanatory, but if you're an idiot unsure open your status menu when I'm done talking and look them up.

You Gain 10 Hp, 5 Stat points,and 1 perk per level, with Bonuses for how much of a Babe your C_u_m receptacle of choice is. But B.O.B.A., I hear you whining, that doesn't seem like enough points! And you're right it isn't! Lucky for you I'm a benevolent god, you can gain stats by using said stat. Want to be smarter? Think harder! Faster? Go running! Stronger? Do you even lift, bro?​

​

… at least he's living up to his name. Geez what an asshole.

The Level cap is 50 by the way. Survive long enough to reach it? You get to evolve, like a f_u_c_k_i_n_g pokemon….Geddit? F_u_c_k_i_n_g Pokemon? … You have no sense of humor. Somehow make it to your FINAL FORM without being turned into glue? The level cap rises to 9999.

Now as a little gift to you, I'll give you some starting skills and perks based on the absolutely degenerate story I stole your body from. Go Check them out. I'm tired of you standing in a dark alley like an imbecile. Entertain me. Or else.

Good Luck, Horse-boy, you're gonna f_u_c_k_i_n_g need it.​