Chapter 99 (1/2)

Chapter 99

(Erica’s Pov)

Erica did not appear to be shaken by that question which had come out of seemingly nowhere.

【”Why are you asking such a thing?”]

【”I’m curious, that’s all. You denied that you’re Harold’s fiancee, so I was wondering if maybe that was because there was someone else you liked.”]

【”That’s not the case. It’s just that there is too big a difference between the values and ways of thinking of Harold and I.”]

【”So you’re saying that you two just can’t be together?”]

【”That’s right.”]

This was the exact same answer that Erica had always given so far on this journey.

At this point, it would likely have been meaningless for Lifa to ask whether that answer was a lie, because she had no actual basis upon which she could overturn Erica’s words.

Saying that Erica was amazing as a person was no exaggeration.

It was only by traveling alongside her that Lifa had come to know that even a girl like Erica had a weak point of her own. However, Lifa herself was hesitant about calling that part a weak point in the sense that taking advantage of it would likely be no easy task.

But perhaps Erica herself was quite aware of her own weakness, hence why she had to be careful not to expose that particular side of her. Her strong rejection of Harold was probably a consequence of this.

Erica was particularly quick to share her opinions openly when it came to speaking about Harold, that was why Lifa figured that Erica was actually putting on a front in order to camouflage her feelings.

Moreover, that camouflage was hardly flawless. Or at least, it was bad enough that it made Lifa doubt whether Erica’s words of rejections towards Harold were actually real. And yet, Liner and Colette did not seem to have noticed anything at all… But Lifa made do by telling herself that “Well, it’s probably because they’re too pure”.

【”…I don’t want to try to persuade you or anything, but there is something I’d like to tell you, will you hear me out?”]

【”I am listening, you have all my attention.”]

“Thanks” After saying that, Lifa took several seconds before she started speaking again.

【”You see, I’m quite the eccentric person. Back when I was living in my village, even my own family had shunned me, and I didn’t fit anywhere. Well, that’s only natural since I used to only study without ever actually working.”]

Lifa was openly speaking of her past, which she had not even told Harold about.

【”At first, I started studying because I wanted to change this world where people who have no talent in magic have no other choice than living in poverty. If, through science,  even someone who cannot use magic properly becomes able to use spells which aren’t inferior to the spells of those who were born with talent, then the world… No, actually, I hadn’t thought things through that far. But I still felt it would be great if my family and village could become wealthy.”]

As she said she would, Erica was quietly and attentively listening.

The fact that she was not showing any pity nor extending her sympathy was actually a good thing from Lifa’s point of view, it made it easy for her to talk. Lifa was not particularly trying to fish for attention or pity; Erica had probably guessed as much and was therefore behaving accordingly.

In any case, from Lifa’s perspective, her life story was not a tale about misfortune but a tale about how she had paid for her own mistakes.

【”But, although I don’t know when exactly it happened, my feelings on the matter changed at some point. Looking at my family and village who had abandoned me because of my devotion to science, I started thinking that… Well, in short, I became stubborn. So, when I hit a wall and found myself in a bind, I did a lot of unreasonable things.”]

Lifa felt like perhaps this story would be quite absurd for others to hear.

Even if she was told that she had just been a young girl who knew nothing about reality and had been stubbornly pursuing a dream that was too far beyond her, Lifa would not be able to deny it.

【”It was at that time that I happened to came across that guy. I left the worst impression on him in our first meeting, and I kept telling him offensive things. I guess that was mostly because of the gossips about him, but still.”]

Perhaps Lifa would have left a slightly better impression if Elu, who had just happened to be there, hadn’t informed her about the rumors surrounding Harold.

Nonetheless, if Elu hadn’t told her that much, she likely would not have asked Harold to escort her.

【”…That guy, he didn’t laugh at my efforts. Now that I think about it, he probably had some ulterior motives, and I did end borrowing the help of Justus, too, which is pretty annoying, but ultimately, it’s because Harold reached his hand to me that I was able to move forward.”]

Lifa figured that Harold’s actions had undoubtedly been guided by his own selfish interests on some level. Perhaps she had only been used by him. Moreover, it could be said that she had caused quite some trouble to Harold by accepting Justus’ invitation.

However, no matter what, it was not because she owed Harold a favor nor because she wanted to atone herself from her mistake that Lifa wished to do something for him. It was because of a much more simple reason.

It was because Harold was just as lonely as her… Or rather, he was struggling against an even harsher loneliness than hers, yet he had acknowledged her efforts in a certain way. And Lifa was delighted about that.

That fact alone made her want to stick with him, and although that feeling of solidarity might have been one-sided, it was enough of a reason for her to want to support and help Harold, regardless of how dangerous that was. “I’m probably the only who’d understand this feeling” She thought with a wry smile.

She used to always be working hard, all by her lone self. And yet, there were many times when she wavered, thinking that maybe her lonesome, self-satisfied ways were a mistake.

Back then, she believed that she would always be solitary, and she had spent countless nights crying in fear, thinking that perhaps all of her efforts would never be recognized by anyone.

Harold had put a light in the darkness she had been locked in and had showed her the path forward. Other people likely would not understand how much of a salvation that had been for her.

【”…I was saved by Harold. Even if he had ulterior motives, that fact won’t change.”]

That fact alone was plenty enough.

Lifa had been saved by Harold. So, this time, she wanted to be the one reaching her hand out to her savior. Even if that was impossible for her, even if her help would just be an annoyance to him, Lifa could not help herself from doing so.

【”… I see you have got a lot of trust from Harold-sama, Lifa-san.”]

【”Trust, huh…”]

From the outside, it would certainly seem like one could trust and rely on Harold’s aberrant fighting strength and such. No matter who his opponent was, he would never be defeated easily in battle, but putting her trust in him on that aspect was too much since his lifespan was being lowered by that sword of his, as for…

(Wait, no. Just now, Erica said that I got trust “From” him, not “for” him…. why would she put it like that―― ?)

Lifa momentarily blanked out. “That’s only a small change, isn’t it?” She thought.

However, driven by a kind of intuition instead of her thoughts, Lifa raised her head. There, she saw Erica’s eyes wavering, as the impregnable barrier that she usually kept on her face for appearances’ sake had been destroyed.

The two girls’ lines of sight were perfectly aligned. Erica showed a slight agitation in her eyes before her expression turned into one of resignation, as if she was realizing that she had been caught in the act.

At that pont, Lifa’s thoughts caught up to her intuition. ‘Oh, so that’s what’s going on’ She affirmed in her mind.

At last, she managed to connect the countless fragments of information which had been scattered all around so far.

Why was it that the first thing Erica had recognized upon hearing the earlier story was the fact that Harold had placed his trust in Lifa? Perhaps it was because she was convinced that Harold was the one who had purposely allowed Lifa’s actions. Erica’s evaluation of Harold was too absolute.

And although her words had not shown it, there was a hint of envy oozing out of her tone of voice. It was already clear why Erica had been shaken immediately after speaking.

【”Ah…”]

Lifa let out a big sigh to break the silence. But Erica, who was facing her, stayed quiet and did not say anything.

After a short pause, Lifa returned to the conversation with a question.

【”I have no idea why, but Harold’s trying to keep his distance from you. You’re aware of that, right?”]

【”Yes, of course I am.”]

【”And that’s the reason why you seem to dislike Harold. Because Harold wants you to dislike him.”]

Erica closed her eyes as if to resist something.

Then, she looked up at the night sky, and spoke out words that seemed to be painful for her to say.

【”I suppose I would have to think twice before saying that that’s not the case, this is the only answer I can give.”]

Erica’s line implied that Lifa was right indeed.

As expected, it was to go along with Harold’s own intentions that Erica was so obstinately behaving like she disliked him. Paradoxically, she was doing all of that for him.

【”You can keep making up excuses, but you should just be frank and admit the truth straightforwardly.”]

【”Even if I do that, I’m afraid you won’t understand it, Lifa-san.”]

It seemed like that somehow was Erica’s evaluation of Lifa.

Although Lifa was somewhat irritated by that, now was not the time for her to focus on her own self.

【”There is one thing I’d like to make clear, it’s that Harold doesn’t particularly trust me. I only got to accompany him by being unreasonably pushy, he actually didn’t want me to come, so much so that he threatened me to stop me from following him.”]

But, although she might have been an annoyance to Harold, Lifa still knew that her intervention hadn’t been useless since she had played a part in solving the miasma problem.

【”Also, Erica, do you know why Harold’s trying so hard to keep his distance from you?”]

After pulling herself back from her irritation, Lifa kept her line of questioning going.

【”That’s because he believes that no good would come from the two of us being linked to each other. But, as for what he’s specifically concerned about, I…”]

Erica spoke evasively.

But Lifa knew what was really happening. The conversation had just taken a direction that even she did not like.

Her stomach was throbbing, and her own emotions became heavy, as if she had drunk lead. This turn of event was close to the worst development among Lifa’s predictions.

“In that case”, she wondered “What can I do? What should I say?”

Various ideas were whirling all about inside her head.

【”…I want to ask you one more question.”]

【”What is it?”]

【”What do you think of Harold? I’d like you to tell me what you truly feel.”]

It was surely not going be easy for Erica to reply, this was likely a question that she did not want to answer at all.

However, if this point was not made clear, things would not be able to go forward from here for Lifa, for Erica, and maybe even for Harold.

【”….I love Harold-sama. And I’ve been in love with him since I was a child.”]

Said Erica, with her voice sounding like she was confessing for a serious crime.

It was painfully clear how much of a taboo this subject was from Erica’s perspective. And at the same time, Lifa could feel how deep Erica’s feelings for Harold were.

When Lifa and Erica faced each other in the Sumeragi family’s mansion, Erica had said “I think you and I are going to have a hard time on this journey”. At the time, Lifa thought Erica was implying that that the both of them were destined to go through some hardships since they were both getting involved in the troubles that were brought by Harold.

But thinking back upon it, there had been other implications coming from Erica’s gaze at the time. She had probably said those words thinking that both of them were similar in the fact that they were both people who cared for Harold and were taking action for his sake.

Lifa had not noticed this on the spot because she barely knew Erica at the time. But well, even if she had noticed back then, it likely would not have changed anything.

Because, at the end of the day, even if they did want to take action for Harold’s sake, there was no way for Lifa and Erica to do it since they did not know how they should go about it, and they still were not even aware of what Harold’s goals were.