633 V2 ch105 (1/2)

Jeremy was speechless.

I took a deep breath. ”Seeing you guys together like that, happy, it makes me a little jealous. I want the same thing.”

”I thought you were okay with it. You have the Atkins.” He said.

I nodded. ”I do have the Atkins. Now. I thought I could brush it off, but you got so many years with them.” I looked him in the eye. ”I'm jealous that they took you away. You didn't have to worry where your next meal was going to come from. Or worry if today was going to be a bad day, just because that woman was slightly sober. You had people you could talk to. A family after dad's death. Me? I legitimately almost died.”

”So what am I supposed to do?” Jeremy was distressed. ”Just let you guys keep ignoring one another?”

I looked to Dr. Moore. He would know better than me.

”Let's just wait this one out.” Dr. Moore suggested. ”Jake isn't ready and from the sound of it, your uncle's family might not be ready either. Maybe you can start slowly. Like your cousins.” Dr. Moore looked at me. ”You have nothing against them, right?”

I shrugged. ”I have no opinion.”

Dr. Moore gave me a look. ”There's no way you don't have any opinion.”

I sighed. ”Can I claim that it's a mostly neutral opinion?”

”What does that mean?” Jeremy asked, worried.

I hesitated. ”I don't know them. They could be super nice and great to you, but maybe they resent me. They don't know me either. I'm just not good with strangers, okay?”

”Of course that's okay.” Jeremy told me. ”But...they're not strangers. They're our family.”

I stayed silent, unsure of what to say. I didn't want to make him upset, but I didn't consider them my family.

”Just give it time.” Dr. Moore stated again. ”You feel guilty and uncomfortable around the Atkins. Jake probably feels awkward and uncomfortable around your cousins. You got to grow up with them, and them with you. It's hard to enter in any kind of situation where you know you're the odd one out.”

Jeremy started to nod. ”Oh. Okay. Like being a new student in school or like when I was traded to the A's.”

”Yes, right.” Dr. Moore answered. ”How did you feel being traded to the A's?”

”I was relieved.” He smiled. ”My family is up here. A lot of my friends. I spent the majority of my life in this area. It was like coming home. But walking into that new dugout for the first time, I was nervous.”

”You?” I asked, not believing it.

He nodded. ”I knew some of the guys since we play against one another occasionally, but it was already a team that was put together.” He smiled. ”When you joined your high school team, you already knew the Atkins, but not the rest, right?”

I nodded.

”But you guys can play together. Noah talks about it all the time.” I frowned.

He showed a sad smile. ”We could, but that means someone else will lose their spot on the roster.”

”Oh.”

”It's all part of the game.” Jeremy shrugged.

”Sounds like you two don't need me anymore.” Dr. Moore let out a laugh. ”I know some baseball, but I don't think I can sort out all the complexities that surround it.”