Chapter 179 - [Special 1 Year Anniversary] Zeros Birthday (1/2)
Zero jumped out of his bed in the lamp and stretched. Today was going to be a great day! Mii was busy in her library and Bob was out for a tea session with Olaf. Although it felt slightly lonely, the teenager didn't think it was necessarily a bad thing. In fact, he'd been craving this small sense of freedom for a while now.
With all the blood-pumping events going on in Hell ever since his sudden arrival, all Zero wanted to do was sleep the day away. Even his curious mind and energetic self needed some time to recharge every once in a while.
The young doctor got dressed and decided to wear his beloved tracksuit. Today, he felt like wearing a red top with a white bottom because why not? Now that he was tall enough, Zero had no issues reaching the bell. That was one of the perks he got after receiving his new vessel.
Instead of the regular vortex and pull to reality, Zero's intuition screamed at him. Sadly, the young doctor wasn't fast enough to pull back before the magnetic force sucked him in and spat him out like a chewed-up gum.
Zero landed with an oof on his back. The ground was rough and scratchy, a feeling the brunet had never experienced. The room was regulated with a temperature controlling device and then he realised something else that was off. He wasn't alone in the room.
Zero backed away as far as he could from the creature before him and studied them as they did with him. The creature appeared to be sitting on some kind of chair equipped with wheels. They were humanoid in appearance and Zero decided that they couldn't be harmful because there were no traces of mana coming from them.
The creature had golden hair much like Zeus' except Zero could see some black hair much like Isis' growing from the scalp. What a weird combination! Somehow, the creature looked like a child but Zero knew better. That look of curiosity wasn't the same as that of a small child. Those onyx eyes held great strength, wisdom, experience and dare Zero say... insanity?
”The Writing Gods have blessed me! Son of a pistachio nut... you're a very realistic hallucination... If I'd known that all it took was six nights of no sleep and a sh*t ton of coffee to get this product of imagination, I would have done it sooner.”
Zero didn't understand everything this creature was saying. There seemed to be something censoring certain words with loud and obnoxious bleeps but Zero paid no heed. He was more curious about how familiar this alien felt. It must be the resonance between people of similar height.
”Do I know you? I feel like I do...” he frowned.
The creature beamed brightly and Zero thought he saw something akin to a halo behind the stranger. The bizarre lifeform began rambling and making high pitched noises before her hands reached out to pull at his cheeks.
Zero squirmed in her grasp but those tiny hands wouldn't let him go. ”This is fantastic! You have no idea what kind of Hell I'd been through... Almost a hundred chapters and you were STILL not out of that damned abyss... I wanted to end it like a few months prior but then I work in finance and a sh*t load of stuff happened so I couldn't do it? D*mn though... you're cuter than I thought. Would you like to be my cat? Wait, have a virtual cookie.”
[Unknown species have given you a virtual cookie. Would you like to accept?]
Zero blinked at that familiar window. Good to know that the system was still working. Although Zero knew accepting gifts from strangers can be a bad idea, the weird person before him didn't look capable of harm.
The weird lifeform was delighted when Zero accepted that emoji cookie. In fact, she would probably have invited Zero to partake in her evil schemes of scamming virtual cookies from innocent people with his disarming appearance. Sadly, Zero's wasn't quite a real creature and would expire as soon as she collapsed from fatigue. Still, as the proud owner of the Earth's only virtual cookie bank that gives chocolate chips as interest, it was a mighty tempting thought.
”Who are you?” Zero finally asked. The map wasn't working and none of the magic he knew worked here. Zero felt very vulnerable in the foreign world with a half-crazed humanoid sharing the same breathing space as him.
”Glad you asked, glad you asked. I'm your creator, Zero.”
”How did you know my name?”
The sly self-proclaimed creator grinned. ”Did you know I was going to name you BON for the lack of naming sense? You're the main character of the book called Ball of Nothing. It's been exactly a year since you came into existence and a product of my boredom. It was also Singapore's National Day last year when I had the itch to start writing something utterly stupid so you were born with that stupid flash of light in your non-existent face. Season 1 was so well received that I decided to take it seriously after it ended. It's the reason why Season 2 is such a challenge but I would appreciate if you could resolve the matters in Hell soon.”
Zero blinked. The self-proclaimed creator made no sense.
”Who are you?”
The midget blinked and laughed. ”I'm a writer... I'm your writer actually. Well, not your writer but you get what I mean. Destiny Aitsuji? Britannia? The writer with a day job in finance? The kid from Singapore who also published The Liberal Assassin? You know... all that jazz.”
Zero didn't know what kind of opinion he should have about the writer before him. She was missing more than just sense and Zero thought that she was somehow worse than Vrald. Stupidity couldn't be cured but insanity that wasn't the medical kind might just be worse.
”Oh yes! I know exactly what you can do for me,” the writer declared. Zero stared at her as if she'd lost more than half her marbles.
”I'm not-”
”Don't be polite now! I'm sure you'd be great. You see, recently I've been very tired and cranky so the story hasn't been progressing much... It's a good thing nobody is in today. I don't want to go out alone but seeing as you're here right now, I think I can leave the lab and continue my work later. There are some places that I've been dying to go to... I need a break.”
Zero didn't get a chance to protest before Destiny dragged him away. The young doctor didn't get how that room was a lab. It looked nothing like Raj's workshop. It wasn't even full of whacky inventions that could be potentially hazardous or deadly. On second thoughts, there were many foreign-looking objects in there that appeared questionable for the safety inspection team. Zero spied a rotating blade on the top of a tall naked rack as well as a box of sharp-looking tools. Seriously, what did Destiny do for a living?
The first place the writer dragged Zero to a cafe. Zero didn't know what she wanted but complied when he was told to sit. ”I'm going to grab some coffee. Do you want some?”
Zero didn't know what coffee was but when Destiny described it as the elixir of the Writing Gods, he readily agreed to try some. Destiny returned with two cups of brown liquid with cubes of ice. The weather was rather warm so Zero rolled the sleeves of his tracksuit up. They received weird looks from the other humans walking around but paid no attention to the secondary characters in life.
The first sip of coffee struck Zero like a baseball bat. The liquid was an odd balance of sweet and bitter. The cold drink helped make the hot weather slightly more bearable but the one thing that made Zero shiver in delight was how awake his mind became all of a sudden. Was this truly the elixir of Gods?
An unexplainable ball of energy spun wildly inside of Zero after he emptied his cup. The mysterious power kept him awake and alert. Destiny's knowing smile made him cautious all of a sudden.
”All awake?”
Zero nodded cautiously and Destiny's smile grew wider.
”That's fantastic! Now we can start the real agenda of the day. When one is stressed, one must eat . Abuse all the sugar, forget all the calories... Depression can come another day for we are going to party!”
Without delay, the crazy writer hoped onto her bicycle and had Zero settle behind her before they pedalled full speed ahead into the next page.
***