Chapter 229 - I understand (2/2)

”Yeah, it's all right now. I'm just a bit tired.”

”Rhys said you fainted due to fatigue,” Kazuya trailed off, ”The healing didn't work because you were stressed out.”

”I see.”

The lighting in the room wasn't enough to see illuminate his face. But Lyn could see it, a sorrowful expression. Whenever Lyn saw him like this, it was painful for her.

”Kazuya, what I'm doing, is it meddling?”

”No, since it's you. You agree to this because you had a similar experience right?”

”Yes. It was during the time I was training with my brother. Back then I...hurt so many innocent lives. After that incidence, I realized it; even those with strong power can't save others. People with strength end up hurting rather than helping,” she mumbled. That's why it's finding an alternative is better. ”Kazuya, you told me you changed because of me. It's the same for me; I changed because I met you.”

It's because she met Kazuya, that Lyn understood. Her mindset after what happened back then was wrong. She shouldn't have pushed away her real thoughts. She shouldn't have been afraid. ”All humans die; it's only natural. But with that in mind, we should treasure our lives. In the Empire, there are far too many people out here who will throw their lives away for the sake of their rulers. That mindset is not wrong; people want to protect those they serve, those who have become dear to them. Whether they've spoken any words to them, admiration can lead to many doors. This is just one of them. However, the door people chose is to end their lives.”

”Lyn...”

”I understand how those people feel. Even though I'm a Princess in name, I understand as royalty; I will eventually have to sacrifice myself for the sake of the Kingdom. In the times we live in, war will break out. This peace we have is temporary. People greed for more and more power. It's human nature to be selfish and desires more than what they have already. Once the balance breaks, everything will be in chaos. That's why,” Lyn took a deep breath, ”That's why there are people like brother, people like your Princess who assign unreasonable tasks to people.”

Kazuya's gaze dimmed, ”I can still hear it clearly, the screams, the voices of all those people I killed. Those people were innocent. But because the Princess deemed them as a threat to the Empire in the future, I killed them.”

”Kazuya.”

”I hate this power; all it does is cause people dear to me to get hurt. I can't protect anyone the way I am now. I'm still burdened by the past, and can't move forward,” Kazuya looked at her with a weak smile, ”Even you, you're so important to me. But whenever something happens to you, all I can do is stand by and watch. Somebody else gets to you before me.”

Is this why? Why their relationship has become so strained? Lyn felt there was more to it.

”I understand where you are coming from Lyn. But it troubles me to take up what I've resolved to give up suddenly...... I need time to tidy my feelings.”

”I see.....”

They fell silent. Was this the only reason? Did he want to forget everything that had happened in the past? Lyn wanted to ask him; She wanted to know the truth. And her journey might truly come to an end when she heard his reason. Should she ask or not ask? If she asks him, something will change again. Their relationship has already changed so much, could she bear the consequences of yet another change?