Chapter 93 - This Has To Be The Worst Trade Deal In The History Of Trade Deals, Maybe Ever (1/2)

So there's quite a few things I have to do before I can go on a journey for ancient spacesh.i.p.s with which to shove the world's population into for our me-imposed exodus across the great starry sky.

First I should see what the hell happened to everyone last night, because I have no f.u.c.k.i.n.g idea. Dolly and Vee should be okay since they high-tailed it out before my doping of all the women in the room. But what everyone else was up to and where they were at was beyond me. I thought I may as well just start from where it all began. Hopefully they'd come full circle.

With that in mind I went back to my house. First thing I noticed was the mess. The remnants of Froggo's harem and the women who had decided to camp out until they found their families, jobs or a place to stay were all passed out. In varying forms of disarray. Bottles and mugs of alcohol were scattered everywhere and several fires were starting to finally burn out. I smelled badly burned meat and coughed.

”At least the house is intact.” Mary observed. ”Judging from what I remember last night--” She stopped. Her lips pursed.

”Right. Lucky, eh?” I understood that she didn't want to relive that experience. Eh, I guess I don't either. Not that I remember it anyway. Did I get married to a Girls Generation song…? If the idol training was just me hallucinating and I was actually getting hitched.

That's a little depressing. Much as I like them, they just aren't wedding material for me. Nah. I wanna get married to something classy and upbeat, like the Chapel of Love. Or Divinyls' I touch Myself.

Depending on how high I am, I also may not mind being married to King Kunta or Gangsta's Paradise. But the sung by British lolis version. Cuz you know ya boy loves me some rapping lolis.

Thoughts about my unplanned mass marriage reminded me of one of the notifications I'd gotten. Milly betrayed me! She took advantage of this Papa of her's and got married to me in the heat of the moment. How could she? Obviously that idiot sword needs to be taught a lesson.

Musing about how I'd punish her, I walked past the unconscious women and opened my door. What greeted me was a stack comprised of Rhiannon, Bubbles and, surprisingly enough, Minnie.

Literally a small tower. They were also all passed out, sleeping comfortably atop one another in the middle of the living room.

In particular I noticed that Bubbles was n.a.k.e.d from the waist down and her ass was covered in a layer of white powder. There was a spot where a hand print was clearly visible.

”What the hell…?”

Mary took a thoughtful look at them. ”I think that was you,” She said.

”That ridic--” I broke off. ”Wait, no. Now I remember…” I groaned.

So basically when I was doped out of my mind last night I came back home to try and pass out when I noticed a cute blue-furred Norwegian forest cat staring at me from the couch.

AWESOME, I'd thought, deciding I'd take it up with me. Suddenly another cat showed up, equally adorable, making me unable to decide which one to bring upstairs with me….and then yet a third cat appeared.

They all gave me curious stares and I just stared back trying to choose which one to take. I remember thinking, ”F.u.c.k it they ALL coming with me, them cute fluffy bitches,” A while later and instead of sleeping Mary walked in asking what I was doing. I was stacking the cats.

They weren't cats.

”Hnnn...”Minnie stirred. She let out a soft m.o.a.n and tried to stretch but ruined the balance and ended up falling on the floor. ”Eek!” She cried, looking quite miserable and fl.u.s.tered, her eyes darting this way and that. ”What? What?”

It was then Bubble's turn to wake up. The woman's face was buried in the Fae Queen's b.r.e.a.s.ts and drool was hanging from her mouth. Speaking of, yeah...this Queen was certainly not showing off a least bit of the majesty befitting of her status, or the deadliness Mary and Sera had seemed to attribute to her previously.

”Haaaa~” Bubbles yawned, drowsily picking herself up. She rubbed her eyes and looked around slowly, confusion clear on her face. ”Day already, huh.” She gave another great yawn.

I was busy staring at that perfectly shaped, perfectly inviting ass. I smacked my lips and felt my mouth water, gulping as I started licking my chops to the thought of running my tongue all over those sweet powdered buns.

Mary then elbowed my side and I was broken from my stupor.

...Okay, fine. I admit it. I'm an ass and coke addict.

I see nothing wrong with that either.

”My head is killing me.” Bubbles stated. ”Does anyone have any water?”

”Coming at you.” I shot a stream of distilled--I actually have no idea about the purity of liquid--water straight towards her open mouth.

”Thanks.”

”No problem.”

”...What's this white stuff on my ass, by the way?”

I was sorely tempted to run my finger across her buttocks, rub it on my teeth, and say something like, ”The results are inconclusive. Gonna have to sample straight from the source.” And just lick that ass till it shined.

But that was likely the residual drugs in me talking. I obviously ain't gonna do that in front of Mary. Not that I would have provided she wasn't here or anything.

”Powdered sugar?”

”Why would there be powdered sugar on my--?”

”Good to know you survived the night. Moving on!”

”Wait.” Mary held onto my arm. She was looking at Rhea with a gleam in her eye. ”This is the perfect opportunity to rid ourselves of her.”

”I think it's alright not to, though?”

She shook her head. ”Are you crazy? ….No, don't answer that. Young Master, you don't understand. Your mother and Lady Rhiannon have been enemies for centuries, there's a lot of bad blood between them. What's more, she wants to steal you away. If it weren't for you mother being by your side, she would have years ago. We can't just let her go. She is not a good person and will not at all be averse to killing everyone here to get what she wants.”

”Relax. She'd the mother of my adoptive daughter, I can't just kill her outright. Even if she is a serious cunt who abandoned her daughter just because she fell in love with a lesser Fae, doesn't mean MIra won't be sad if I kill her. Besides, now that I'm home she'll be easy to deal with. Here.” I walked over to a certain spot in the room and lifted one of the floorboards. I then handed out bags of powder. ”She starts anything, use Pocket Coke on her.”

Bubbles sniffed at the substance warily. ”...Drugs? Hey, isn't this stuff the same as what I have on my--?”

”Minnie, you good?” I interrupted her.

”Ah...Master….” I saw that her eyes were still a tad cloudy. ”I feel...woozy…” She tried to walk but faltered, tipping forwards. I quickly caught her.

”You definitely need some food and some fresh air. I'll open the windows and made you something. Sound good?”

Silence. I took that as a yes and lifted her up. As I was about to sit her on the cough I felt something wet on my face.

She was licking my cheek. Vigorously. Then moved to my lips.

What? What? Why? I didn't really feel anything s.e.x.u.a.l from it, though it was definitely arousing. I held her a bit away from me and she reacted by trying to lean forward to keep at it.

I was reminded of both my cat, Sir Pomp-a-Romp, and my family's wolfhound, Hugo, at the same time. More Hugo, I would say, since he had a habit of running up to you and liking your mouth at every opportunity.

”Master~ Master~” The young woman called out childishly. I ignored her, wondering why she was acting so strangely.

”Young Master, you know how dogs like to lick their owners? Well, did you know that this originates from wolves? It's normally used as a way of welcoming new members into the pack, or for dealing with the highest ranking male. It can also be used to show affection.” Mary seemed bemused by the whole thing.

”So?”

”From my understanding she's not just part feline, but also part wolf, no?”

”...Oh yeah….” That's right. I really almost forgot about that.

”Usually they suppress these urges, but I think the lingering effects of the drugs in her system are loosening her control. It's actually a bit cute.”

Mary obviously thinks of Minnie as a pet.

I was sorta mad. All I had to do to make her honest was pump her full of weed?! All the missed opportunities…

I could've started on my first batch of kittens by now If i knew that! So then this means she does like me? Hm. But really I think that's just attraction and gratitude. Having already committed myself to Vee and Mary anyway I decided to let this go.

”Shh. It's alright. Get some rest.”

I grabbed a blanket from the nearby closet and drapped it over her. She slowly closed her eyes and burrowed deeper into the covers. She gripped my hand, asking, ”Master won't rub my head?”

The temptation was real. ”Maybe Mary would like to do the honors?” I asked the woman in question.

”Well, I suppose I don't mind.” Mary replied.

”No. It's no good if it's not Master.”

”Come now, Minnie, don't be like that. Mary gives good headpats too, so just get some rest, m'kay? Here, take Mr. Bong with you. I'll be back with something delicious in a bit.”

”So...we don't kill her?” Bubbles jerked a thumb to Rhea.