Chapter 92 - Existence Is Pain (1/2)

Listen here, everyone. I can handle a lot of things. I swerve between infinite kindness and unforgiving pettiness entirely on a momentary whim. But one thing that I absolutely cannot let slide is the harming of my beautiful trees!

That said, these are Angels we're talking about. Now, I know Angels and Dragons and apparently Fae queens are all susceptible to drugs but I'm all tapped out right now so I got no way to beat 'em.

Still, the burning rage in my heart can't be quenched without subjecting them to inhuman tortures.

”Don't worry, ” I suddenly spoke up. ”I'm not going to let them get away with hurting you. Just see how I handle them.”

”...Me?” She stopped. It was the first time she'd spoken since we left, which was almost an hour ago. We were almost home. ”Why?” Her words were sharp and curt. ” Because of these?” She held up her bruised wrists. ” These are nothing.” She gave a hollow chuckle. ”They didn't even cause them. I'm the one who did this.”

”Directly or indirectly, they're why you got bruised. I can't let that slide.”

”Forget about me.” The woman's tone was colored with barely contained anger. ”You're the one who they…” She clenched her jaw tightly. ”What's wrong with you? Why aren't you angry? Don't you understand what they did to you?”

I shrugged. ”AIn't nobody got time for a breakdown.” I replied. ”Besides, apparently it wasn't my first time being reverse-r.a.p.ed. And seeing as how the prime candidate for that honor is my own mother, I'm certainly not gonna take the time to unpackage all that bullshit. Nope. I just ain't opening that can of worms, you feel me? I don't really care much anyway,” I admitted. ” If I had to say, the anger is at the level of minor annoyance like being bumped into or someone slapping you back a bit too hard.” I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. ”Actually, billions of guys would even kill to have the same happen to them. I mean you could do worse than waking up from a bad trip and finding yourself post-orgy with a harem of s.e.xy Angels for wives. Which is basically the only other thing I'm mad about. Other than you getting hurt, and that? Eh. I'm not angry.”

It would be quite hard to get me riled up through s.e.x. Unless I was r.a.p.ed by a dude. That's change things, sure. Or maybe if the girl raping me was ugly. I do, after all, have standards.

But yeah, being r.a.p.ed by a bunch of Angel babes? Not that bad, not that bad at all. If they weren't my daughters from a past life and I wasn't already a man in a relationship it'd be a pretty good deal. 'Course I wouldn't at all want responsibility. Unless the deal was they take me up and serve me like a f.u.c.k.i.n.g god-king and i literally don't have to do anything but eat and f.u.c.k like a true hedonist.

And if children were off the table, since then it would just make me obligated to love the mothers of my children and that'd be the same problem there as what I had with my own Mother's plans. I can't love so many women equally, which I would feel I have to do for my kid's sake...and yeah that just isn't in me.

So if those conditions were me...no kids, no having to take financial care of the girls...no having to do much besides eating, sleeping, f.u.c.k.i.n.g and whatever hobby I may have at the time…and I wouldn't mind.

But I'm spoken for, and they hurt my tree!

So f.u.c.k 'em. Oh. I suppose I already. Still, ya'll get what I mean.

”Well I am.” Mary quietly seethed. ”I hated it.”

”Really? But you don't even like me yet. Can't have been THAT traumatic given that, and since you were totally coked out of your mind.”

Wrong thing to say. Really wrong.

”So what if I don't love you?” She snapped. ”You don't understand at all! Can you even comprehend how humiliating it was? To be tied down and having to watch them take their turns with you? You're MY lover. Mine. And you're the only one I've ever had who didn't make me feel like I was only worth a single night, that I didn't deserve more than that. So how could you think I wouldn't hate having to see you taken advantage of? How can you think I wouldn't care? No…” She shook her head. ”Before even that...How can you think something like this isn't a big deal? Why aren't you angry? Hateful? I just don't understand. Whether it's this time, or with your mother. How can you be so calm, like it's nothing serious? How can you be more concerned with a few bruises when something like that happened to you? Do you just not value yourself? Is that why you're always so reckless with everything? Because if you're really fine with having that done to you, that's the only reason I can think of.”

I stared at her for a few minutes. ”….Aw. You do care.” I have to say, the knowledge was quite pleasing. ”Huh. And you know what, you're right. That does sound really f.u.c.k.i.n.g shitty. Sorry, I took your feelings too lightly. Don't worry, from now on I'll take better care not to get so high I get reverse-r.a.p.ed by horny Angels and/or any other female besides you or Vee. I really can't let you guys wear green hats, now can I?”

There was an odd change in Mary just then. It was subtle, and quick, but I caught it the instant it appeared.

It was like she wilted just a tiny bit. Maybe because she realized she was right about the other stuff too.

”You're the most twisted person I've ever met.”

”Really that's a matter of perspective, isn't it?”

”No. No, I don't think it is.”

”Well that just, like, your opinion.” I said cheekily. ”Eh. You aren't wrong though. I don't really give a single f.u.c.k about my life, personally. I could die tomorrow and my biggest regret would be not being able to get back at those bird-brains for indirectly getting you hurt. Being perfectly honest this world would a f.u.c.k ton better off if I kicked the bucket anyway. Heh.” Suck for them I'm not gonna be dyin' anytime soon.

Probably.

Know what? Nah. Imma live for centuries. F.u.c.k death flags.

”That's…” She trailed off. ”What about Dolly? Your parents?”

”Hell, I'm not even sure Dolly understands what death is? She'd probably be sad she can't see me anymore but she's still got Mother, Father, you, Baz, Vee….lots of people. Mother and Father, in turn would have each other and Dolly. Actually, it'd be nice to know they can't scheme about what I do with my life. Especially Mother. Knowing her repopulation plans goes down that drain would be SO satisfying. ”

”Baz?”

”That damn cookie-whore ain't nothin' but a traitor. He'd likely be the first to piss on my grave. Then realize I'm the only one who can make his beloved cookies properly and go on an epic quest to revive me that ends with him realizing the ultimate finality of death and how much he truly loved me as not JUST his supplier, but his brother. Then years later he'd bring his children to meet their Uncle Damien and the story would fade out to the image of him shedding a single silent tear on my headstone as he agonizes over how he should've been more grateful to have me while I was alive.”

I didn't even earn another hollow chuckle. Tough crowd.

”...Vee?”

”I dunno why you're asking about her. She'll definitely find another guy to give her all the happiness. Likely because I'd be visiting her next boyfriend as a spirit and putting the fear of God in him so that he won't do anything BUT make her happy. Anyone else you want to ask about? Because everyone else I know either won't be all that bent out of shape over my death, or sad they weren't the one to kill me. I don't hang out with pansies who cry over one dead d.i.c.k, which leaves my enemies. And my fans, I guess. And my daughters. But Charlotte doesn't actually like me that much anyway and Evie's feelings are rooted purely in gratitude.”