Chapter 11 Proposing To A Queen, Stealing Her Husband pt. 2 (1/2)

So I'd made several tactical hops, from several different windows, down towards the side of the castle.

Private Dahlia, with her DEX already at it's hardcap, easily followed me down.

”I can't remember the last time I'd been out of the castle simply for my own pleasure.”

”I feel sick.” The Prince's face was green.

I couldn't help but wonder about something as he said that. Seriously, looking at him now how was it that Dolly originally fell for this guy? He was such a dweeb. A cute, frail-looking dweeb who would be better suited to a dress than his own sister, but a dweeb nonetheless.

It was just a few hops!

We'd have to fix his meekness in the future. No husband of Dolly can be a weakling. At the very least they have to be as strong as me, right? Bare minimum.

”Buck up, son.” The King breathedin the fresh air as he encouraged his pale-looking child. ”Back in the day me and Ellie used to do this all the time. Actually we used that very same route down, now that I think of it...” He smiled in reminiscence.

Ellie? Did he mean father?

So they were friends after all. I'd thought so before but this confirmed it.

”You bounced back fast from having just been kidnapped.” I commented.

”Yeah. Having your chrysanthemum in danger of being deflowered can do that to a guy.” He nodded. I guess it really would, shit.

”Your wife is pretty kinky.”

”I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but thanks?”

”Yup.” Definitely bad.

”They're getting along so well...exactly which of us are father and son?” The Prince sighed.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dolly place an hand on the boy's shoulder. ”Stop being such a pansy, okay?”

I wished Vera was here so I could spank her. Honestly, it's her fault Dolly wasted the goodwill the Prince had for her in their early years. I mean even if he does still like her, look at him, he's almost ready to cry after those words.

She meant to cheer him up but the verbal tics she's cultivated had other ideas.

I gotta be real here, for a while I resented Vera after realizing this was the Love Orgy universe. But then I also realized that even though she's the one who caused the Prince to dislike Dolly for her ”foul mouth” she also wasn't the one who wronged Dolly.

A few mean words and a bit of bullying, and they respond with things like exile and physical harm? Torture, decapitation? Nope, fuck them, they didn't have to go so far. The fucking assholes.

Just thinking about it made my chest burn.

I stared at the Prince and could just picture all of Dolly's ending scenes floating above his head, could see the cold eyes he'd used whenever he sentenced her to some miserable end.

And could already feel my hands itching to seperate his head from his shoulders. The desire was so thick that I only just barely stopped myself from making it reality.

I saw him shiver just then, looking around in a panic.

It was hard to do, but I calmed myself. That's right, me. He hasn't done anything to Dolly yet. We can't punish or hate him for something he MIGHT do in the future, eh? Or won't do, if I had anything to say about it.

Because if it did happen, someone's getting their fucking insides hollowed out and turned into a fish tank.

Anyway, that aside, it seemed we were in some sort of garden area.

One with high walls of grass.

”Maze?” I wondered.

The King confirmed.”Yeah. But don't worry, Damien-sensei, I know the way out.”

”Nevermind that, which way?”

He understood immediately. ”Please don't.”

”Too late, I'm picking a side.”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I took my trusty dagger and started cutting the ”walls” like they were tofu.

”The Royal Gardeners spent years on this maze.” A regretful sigh. ”Truly that guy's son.”

”Was father also like Day back in the day?” Dolly asked as they followed my path of destruction.

”A bit.” The King answered.

”Were you fiancees too, like me and Alex?”

The man nearly coughed up blood.

”What?!”

”She means friends.” I hastily cut in.

”Oh...yes, that...that makes sense...Ahem. Yes. Friends.”

”That's nice. You two must have gotten along very well. You're pretty like mother, and father likes pretty things so you must've had a great friendship.”

”It wasn't that great.”

”Vera says the relationships between men are a deep and mysterious thing that cannot be comprehended with a woman's simple mind. She says that a lot when Day and Baz are out fooling around.”

VERA!!!!!!

You damn moss-head! Overgrown weed! Urgh!

I tripped over a branch.

Nursing a bitter resentment, I promised the girl a beating once we got home.

All the time! All the damn time! That brat, it's like she WANTS the thrashings!

Well this Young Master has no problems dishing them out, you hear me, moss-head?!

”Did you and father fool around a lot too back then?”

The man's lips moved like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.

”Well, I guess.” The King smiled.”You're a bit of an airhead, aren't you little one?” He seemed to have given up on talking with her normally and simply opted for giving her a pat on the head.

Which she avoided by swatting away hishand.

”Keep your hoofs off me, sow. I don't wish to be sullied by your filthy, scum-crusted hands.” She mumbled.

”Holy fucking shit.” The King went wide-eyed, recoiling in shock.

Without another word she stepped up her pace and left the father-son pair behind.

I rapped her on the head. ”Don't go giving emotional scars to our country's King!”

She let out a small ”Ku!” of pain but had the nerve to then ask, ”What're emotional scars?”

”Ask Vera later!”

I cut down another hedge wall in irritation.

I heard a chuckle.

”Cute.”

Was the Prince losing it? Or was he just taking joy in his father's torment? Whatever. As long as Dolly wasn't leaving him with scars too, yet.

But it was true that Dolly, her head downcast, bunny ears hanging low, was the very definition of cuteness as she trailed behind me.

”Damien-sensei, that sister of yours...Mary's?”

He knew Mary as well? Well, well, well...I think I know why he looks like a man reliving past torments now.

”No, but she does have two. And one of them is a bad influence.”

”Says the Demon King.” Alex cut in. And instantly regretted it.

”What was that then?”

”Huh? What? I didn't say anything. You must be imagining things. Haha...ha...”

I tsked. ”Taking me for a fool. Hmph. Kid, if you weren't my sister's fiance you'd be howling in pain right now.”

All of a sudden it was like something clicked in his head. He looked between me and Dolly, then back again.

”Hmm...”

Kids were so very easy to manipulate, weren't they? The idea is planted, all it needs is some reinforcing.

I snickered as the little guy promptly stuck to Dolly's side like glue.

I watched them out of the corner of my eye.

Dolly may have a bad habit of talking like a sailor sometimes but she didn't have any problems socializing.

She shone brightly once more as the conversation started going.

I caught sight of her playing with somehing. The King did too.

”Isn't that Dana's necklace?” His eyes narrowed.

Dolly! You damn klepto!

”What necklace? You're losin' it, old man.”

”O-Old man?” The reaction was as if he were just struck. It was almost comical. ”Listen here you little shit...” He started wagging his finger.

”What happened to Damien-sensei?”

”What happened to comrade?”

”She's not getting it back, okay?”

”Who cares about that! It was around her neck, you understand?! How the hell did she even...” He trailed off.

”That kid could take the clothes off your back and you wouldn't even notice. Don't think about it too much.”

”But-”

”I know, bro. I know. Let it be.”

He huffed. ”You two siblings are really something else. One spreads like an STD and the other's got a future career in assassination. Or thievery, or both!”

You say that but I see that little smile of yours, little King of mine. Heh.

”You know you love us though.”

He sent me a high five. ”Damn right I do.” See now what other King would be so chill?

”I feel like this is the start of a beautiful friendship, Damien-sensei.”

”We should've met sooner, you and I.”

”Indeed. I've got big plans for our future dealings, Damien-sensei, big plans. You'll love 'em.”

I really felt like me and the King were on the same wavelength.

The world was not safe.

***

”Thanks for the threads, beautiful.”

I paid the pretty tailor and went towards a corner of the shop.

”Say hi to the kids for me.”

I might have been a former NEET, and I may not understand the thought process of average plebs sometimes, but let it not be said I was a social recluse.

I, too, am capable of interacting with people normally.

Specifically beautiful women.

You may think I'd be more reserved given how much I hated Damien's playboy ways but there was a difference between being a flirt and being a womanizer, okay?

I was just a guy searching for love, understand? So I HAD to put myself up there. I'm a go-getter like that.

And it's not like I meant anything by it, m'kay? It was just practice, practice I say.

Practice, I say, for the day the true waifu candidate appears. That's when the real charm gets turned up.

”Alright, my liege. Strip for me.”

I was going to have the King and his kid put on something less conspicuous.

The Queen seemed to have already called off the guards and no one was looking for a King they didn't know was missing. But this was the Crown City and someone might recognize the two if they went around wearing clothes fit for, well, Royalty.

I wasn't going to go about dying their hair or anything though. You may wonder if that was a bit of neglect on my part. Like, ”sure you change their outfits but won't people recognize their faces?”

But no, they may be this world's equivalent of celebrates but things like television, newspapers and internet didn't exist so most common folk wouldn't know what they looked like.

Since this was the Crown City though, yeah, at least this population might. But this was solved through a little something I called the Clark Kent phenomena.

I mean I even if you saw someone who looked like their spitting image walk down the street, there's no way you'd associate lofty people like the King and Prince to them if they wore the same Average Joe kinda clothing you yourself wore, right?

So I felt it was perfectly safe. And if someone did get any ideas I could always boop their snoots and hightail it outta there.

Feeling confident, I threw him a pile of clothes.

He opened the door to his little room and caught them. He revealed a surprisingly fit physique.

I was slightly envious.

Although I worked my ass off almost every day my own body was still pretty slim due to my age. I hated that despite my height I was still ainstead of a Chad.

I deserved to be a Chad, dammit.

But the older Damien was basically the wetdream of adult novel fangirls so I guess I didn't have to worry about staying like this forever.

I still didn't feel satisfied being so skinny though.

As I was thinking that the King noticed my absentmindedness and took the opportunity to take a jab at me.

”Oi. No peeking, kid, you hear me? I know I'm good-lookin' as all get out but only the wife can take a gander at these goods.” He joked.

”Shame it's such a pitiful sight to see, then, huh?” I quipped.

Guy thought he'd act funny. Too bad for him my retort game is always on point.

Sit the fuck down, son. You got nothin' on this.

I will give him credit though. Lesser men would probably get all defensive when their manhoods were made fun of.

Him, he just choked back a laugh and took it in stride.

As expect of one of my fans. I just knew a fellow Ero Enthusiast would be a cool guy!

”Day, that lady keeps staring at me.” Dolly grapped my shirt. That habit was so endearing, wasn't it?

I saw a few other customers throwing daggers my way.

Yup. The envy was real.

”Well yeah. She's on the verge of adopting you.”

”Adopt? No, it's different. I sense the eyes of a hungry wolf, Day.”

I mean just look how you're dressed, sister of mine. I'd wanna gobble you up too.

”Big bro will protect you. Don't worry about it.”

”I'm not worried, okay?”

And yet she was hiding behind my back with half her face vigilantly, cautiously, keeping the woman in sight.

”Please tell me you're going to start producing those things in bulk.” The King begged.

He was also showing the face of a wolf. Or better yet, a bear. Which I could so totally understand.

”I've got people on it.” I promised. And I did. Bazman's got them connections yo.

”I swear to the gods that by this time next year every Little Miss in our nation going to school are gonna have those things as their new uniforms.”

Not all Noble children attented school in their early childhood years, but a lot did. Before 12 or 13 it was all optional if you just paid for tutors like mother and father did for Dolly and I.

After that age it was expected for Noble kids to enter a proper place of education not just to learn more advance forms of knowledge but also to form connections with others of their kind.

Which reminded me, Dolly was supposed to start middle-school some months from now too. So was the Prince now that I think about it, though he was supposed to take that trip abroad before then.

Regarding school, I never had to since I was a publicly aknowledged ”genius.” I also didn't need to since mother and father knew my relationship with my peers were less than friendly.

But I could if I wanted.

”I like your thinking, bro.”

”As if you didn't have the same idea.”

I really was planning to slowly introduce the product to the Kingdom, yes. Guilty as charged.

”Great minds think alike.”

”It is so.”

”Father, are you ready?” Just then the Prince walked out of the next stall over wearing simple, yet neat and stylish, trousers and a shirt.

”Eh, hold up. Almost. Yeah. Got it.”

”From ruler to ragmuffin.” I gave a satisfied thumbs up.

Now that they've ditched their royal garments for the cloth of the common man, it was time to party.

***

In this sprawling Crown City there were two versions of it you had to see to properly understand. One was the version you normally saw in daylight. Huge, majestic, brimming with self-importance.

Then there was the night version. Loud, bright, brimming with debauchery.

You smelled the foods being sold at every corner, the sweet and savory blend of scents overwhelming. Heard music from bards resounding through every street, deafening.

Lanterns of every color and shade hanging over your head, beautifully disorienting.

And a bar every two buildings down, apparently.

Our goal was to hit as many as we could!

”Another one, barkeep! Next round's on me, everyone!” I shouted.

I was raised high into the air as applause broke out.

”Chug! Chug! Chug!”

The King was in a corner being pelted with alcohol.

”You call this a drink? Grape juice is harder than this swill! C'mon, bring out the good stuff!”

”You heard 'im, guys! Bust out the spirits, enough of this piss water!”

I was feeling the buzz after a dozen drinks later and started singing at the top of my lungs.

”Oh Nelly Rebitta was made of wood...!”

You'd best fucking believe I was busting out Mary Poppins. Oh yeah.

At another corner of the tavern.

”Again! Fuck! This bitch is cheating!”

”Bitch? Sorry, but I'm not your mother.”

Dolly, for the first time Vera's teachings are serving you well. Even though you probably don't have a clue what you're saying, keep it up! Let your instincts take over! Go all out, just this once.

”Care to play again?”

She sounded just like mother right then.