Chapter 312: Anti-Virus (1/2)
'I hate you, though. Of course, I don't hate my SIMP dao gods.'
[Your sponsor is heartbroken. He is sobbing in a corner.]
Miaomiao scratched his head and sighed. It seemed that the strange energy that Dion had warned him was the virus inside Liu Bian's soul or his Heavenly Fate Fragment.
Now, he felt like a fool, who had downloaded a virus file from a porn website.
'Dion, babe, you should have warned me earlier about the virus.'
[…]
Dion didn't reply, but Miaomiao could tell that she was still there. Had Dion been consumed or disappeared, there should have been a notification or instant messages whenever he asked for something.
It didn't take 10 seconds for Dion to return.
Ding
[Your system is currently quarantining her consciousness from external beings' intervention.]
[Macho Joshua has logged into your system with Dion's permission.
[Macho Joshua has inspected the Anti-Virus Program.]
[Macho Joshua has discovered the source of the irregular activities!]
[Macho Joshua has disabled all system's permissions of your sponsor!]
[Macho Joshua has deleted several virus files in your system.]
[Daotube-Backdoor.exe has been quarantined and deleted.]
[Daologger.xls has been quarantined and deleted.]
[Daosnatcher.bat has been quarantined and deleted.]
[Ransomware.exe has been quarantined and deleted.]
[Macho Joshua has filed a lawsuit against your sponsor for his illegal activities.]
[Macho Joshua has flagged your sponsor's channel for his illegal activities.]
”… Wow.”
A new badass constellation suddenly appeared and did something to his system. He even counterattacked against the devil in his stead.
[”Hello, this is your friendly DG, MACHO JOSHUA!!”]
”…”
Miaomiao wasn't surprised anymore. Buddha became OG-Buddha, then why wouldn't Jesus became MACHO. He couldn't help imagine Jesus on the cross with the Hulk's physique.
That felt weird.
[”I've cleaned your system. That devil shouldn't be a problem anymore.”]
'Hello, Macho God. Thanks for your help.'
[”No problem! That idiot may be vengeful and stubborn, but he's a noob hacker. As long as you don't absorb something weird with your energy-drain signature type abilities, he shouldn't be able to hijack your system again.”]
[”Also, I've contacted my Trumpet Alliance. They will visit that devil and do something about him shortly.”]
Miaomiao gave Jesus a thumbs up. He didn't mind having a baptism and join a church now since their god was so efficient and friendly.
[”During the meantime, I shall monitor your system and protect you until the subscription period is over. Make sure to fill the application form if you want to activate the auto-resub option. Just so you know, the first year subscription cost one Heavenly Fate Fragment, but the second year onward only cost a tenth of Heavenly Fate Fragment. You will instantly get 12 years' worth of protection if you choose to resub before the deadline!”]
Miaomiao took it back. This Capitalism Jesus was definitely a Catholic!
Ding
[Macho Joshua has adjusted the observer permissions.]
[From now on, observing dao gods may give you side-quests. However, they can not force you to do their bidding by imposing heavy penalties as a threat. All quests are now optional, and you can choose to decline or cancel them whenever you want!]
”OH!!”
That was what Miaomiao had been dying for – A system that wouldn't manipulate him or force a quest on him! As long as Jesus or other dao gods could never force him to do anything all the time, Miaomiao could finally chill and take it slow, building his strength at his pace.
Even if protagonists might show up, he had Lu Fengxian and several strong guys as his allies. Miaomiao could even pretend to be a neutral NPC and stay out of new protagonists' radars.
Ding
[Macho Joshua has established a new Daotube Channel, Mao Miaomiao's MACHO LIFE.]
[From now on, dao gods may spectate your daily life and donate to you directly. Companies or various immortal organizations may request to put an ad on your channel and give you various perks, items, or cash.]
[Due to your mortal status, Macho Joshua has designated himself as your Dao Guardian. He is obliged to protect you from immortals and external beings while you're a resident of Heavenly Goose Planet. In return, he shall take a 90% cut from your channel's official income, except the direct donations.]
[Macho Joshua has returned the system administrator status to Dion.]
[Your system, KONO DION DA, has regained her authority over the system and Mao Miaomiao's MACHO LIFE channel.]
Ding
[MACHO Joshua has subscribed to your channel.]
[Kunwu has subscribed to your channel.]
[Tilted Hongjun has subscribed to your channel.]
[Sun Crow has subscribed to your channel.]
[OG-Buddha has subscribed to your channel.]
Even though Jesus was a capitalist, his service was professional. Not only he got rid of the devil, but he also established a new channel for Miaomiao to reap the profits. Still, the 90% cut was nasty, but Miaomiao had no choice.
[Heya, I'm back!]
Moreover, Dion returned safely. Since his girl was okay, Miaomiao felt like tipping Jesus for his amazing job.
Ding
[Anonymous Devil has subscribed to your channel.]
Miaomiao was about to celebrate, but the sixth subscriber irked him. He didn't want him in this channel.
”Miaomiao, what are you doing talking to yourself?”
While Miaomiao was staring at the semi-transparent screens, Jia Shan floated next to him, wondering what his disciple was thinking.
”Oh, uh, nothing. I'm just absentminded.”
”I thought you were being possessed by that prince's spirit or something.”
Miaomiao broke a sweat. His sword mentor was too sharp sometimes, ”It's nothing. I just accidentally absorbed a strand of shadow element Qi, and it takes a while to eject it. That's all.”
”I see…”
Jia Shan gave Miaomiao an odd look as if he was dissatisfied with his current carefree attitude. He knew that Miaomiao could be reckless most of the time, but he had enough strength to recover himself from predicaments.
Still, Miaomiao had several major flaws that needed to be fixed.
”Have I told you that your Vampiric Touch Technique is derived from a demon clan? It's not good if you keep using demonic art even if it can grant you instant power-ups. One day, you will probably absorb something sinister by accident and get yourself killed. If you have a better cultivation technique, you'd better switch to the new one right away.”
Jia Shan reminded Miaomiao about the flaws in his favorite technique. He had seen the latter abusing this skill so many times, and it worried him.
He was afraid that Miaomiao would turn into someone like Fu De.
”… I'll keep that in mind,” Miaomiao also thought of Fu De. He swore that he wouldn't degrade his bloodline into a vampire.
”Anyway, just in case you didn't notice, Ju Xie has already entered the gate.”
As Miaomiao was busy with his system, the child emperor had already entered the gate. Jia Shan reminded what Miaomiao had been missing before he rejoined with Ma Ping and Ju Shoufen.
The group floated in front of the giant gate, which had already been closed. They waited for Ju Xie to bring them the rumor record book, which was the copy of a time-and-space mural of the Liu Clan.
Being reminded of the mural piece, Miaomiao asked the devil, who might be observing him at the moment.