Part 6 (1/2)
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”And of all people,” Chris said. Or maybe it was Jake.
Daniel showed him his middle finger again. Chris didn't realize this until Jake had disappeared.
”Why do you keep doing that to me?” Chris asked.
”I'm Daniel,” he began, ignoring Chris. ”I am in Group Two. Our group goal is to be nice to Ms. Mosley, and we have to be respectful and stuff. My personal goal for today is to be more positive when it comes to talking about my future. I have to say better things about myself and not call myself a loser or whatever.”
”That is an excellent goal, Daniel,” Dr. Finch complimented. ”That's real and it's reachable.”
Everyone stayed silent. Daniel was picking at his shoelaces. It seemed like he could see me staring at him from the corner of his eye. He looked up at me. I turned away quickly. When I looked back at him, he was looking down and messing with his shoelaces again.
There was another person there, who wasn't afraid to speak up. He shared after Daniel. He was in Group One, and had scars all over his arms and face. He explained that his scars had come from him being burned in a house fire. He didn't seem nervous talking to all of the people that he didn't even know. He was very open, and it seemed like he actually wanted everyone to listen to him.
Josh, the little one who had mouthed off to Janine, was also in Group One. He was in Bent Creek because he refused to eat. He was mean to Ms. Mosley when she tried to help him set a goal for himself. He said that he'd rather they keep the portable feeding tube in him because he wasn't going to put anything in his mouth. I could tell that they really didn't know what to do with that kid, so they gave up on him in Goals Group.
After everyone else had a chance to speak, Dr. Finch dismissed us from Group. Ms. Mosley ordered everyone to get ready for breakfast. Tai and Janine, along with everyone else, jumped up and darted out of the room. Janine left me, but I didn't care. It seemed like she'd been scheming on me in Goals Group with Tai, anyway. They probably didn't like me, I thought. Daniel was still messing with his shoelaces. I looked over at him.
”I really think your goal was good,” I heard myself say.
Daniel looked up at me with a shocked look on his face. It was almost as if he had forgotten where he was.
”Oh,” he said. ”Thanks.'
”Excuse me,” a voice said from above me. I looked up and Dr. Finch was standing over me. ”Daniel and I have a session now. Would you leave us?” He was nice about it. I nodded and left the room, closing the door behind me.
I wished that Dr. Cuvo were there already. Bent Creek did not seem like the place where I belonged. Sure, I was depressed for a little while. However, I didn't want to be locked up with Bulimics, Multiple Personalities, and Psychos. I just wanted to go home.
CHAPTER 7.
During breakfast, Janine filled me in on the way things worked at Bent Creek. She told me that our doctors could come day or night, but we were required to see them every single day that we were here. Then, a rumor started that Lenni was able to go home because she'd had a family session the day before and it had gone well. I figured a family session was a good thing in this place. Today, though, I would dread having to face anyone in my family other than my mother.
The day felt like it had actually begun after breakfast. The first group we attended was Anger Management. It didn't matter if you were an angry person or not. If your group was scheduled for it, then you had to go. Ms. Mosley, head counselor of Group Two, put me in her group. I was somewhat relieved to be in the same group as Janine. Dr. Bent, who seemed like a laid-back person, moderated anger Management. She didn't care if the kids swore or even horsed around a little bit before the session began. She talked with some of the kids as they entered the room, and as we waited for everyone to settle into chairs. She seemed cool because she put up really well with Tai and Janine's constant noise.
”Take a few minutes,” Dr. Bent began, ”and think of a situation that happened that made you very angry. Now, I don't want you to pick something major, like what landed you in here, but something that could happen to anyone, on any day. You know, just something normal that you figure could make anyone angry.”
Tai rolled her eyes. She grunted to Dr. Bent, ”I don't think I understand what you mean.”
”What's so confusing about this exercise, Tai?” Dr. Bent asked.
Tai flared her big nostrils at Dr. Bent.
She said, ”I need to know what you mean by 'normal'. Do you mean something normal like someone making you angry because they cut you off in traffic, or do mean something normal like your step-mother beating the h.e.l.l out of you for hugging your own father because she is a jealous, old hag who's nothing but a mooching, gold-digger? Is that what you mean by 'normal,' Dr. Bent? Are both of those things something that could happen to just anyone? Or are we just some kind of special group of people where the 'normal' things are just 'normal' things that can happen to anyone kind of things, and the 'really major' things are what we get for not having the 'normal' things happen to us, like it could happen to anyone else? Because if you are asking me to say which is normal for me, and you say that the one I choose is not normal, then I think that's just screwed up, and I don't deserve it, and none of us do.”
It took me a minute to swallow all of that. Dr. Bent seemed to be right on basis with Tai. Dr. Bent leaned forward, still making eye contact with Tai. Tai turned her head slightly and looked away from her. Tai had tears in her eyes and she was trying not to let them fall. I watched as Janine scooted away from Tai. Dr. Bent was so calm. She kept her eyes on Tai, even though Tai wouldn't look at her.
She said, ”Which one of those two things you mentioned is normal for you, Tai?”
Tai was breathing heavily. She turned back to Dr. Bent with a sharp gaze and wet cheeks.
”Screw you!” she yelled at Dr. Bent.
I thought for sure that Dr. Bent was going to throw her out. Everyone stared at Tai. There were about ten seconds of shocked silence until Dr. Bent opened her mouth and said, ”Yeah! Screw me! Screw you! You know what? Screw this! Screw everyone in here! Screw the whole world! Isn't that right, Tai? It works that way in this stupid world! Just screw everything. That's why it's okay to take a knife and slide it across our skin! That's why it's okay to take drugs, drink, and smoke our lives away! That's why it's okay to run away from home, steal, and become junkies! That is why it's okay to kill ourselves, and try to take the rest of the world with us, everyone who cares about us, and everyone who doesn't! Yeah, that's why it's okay, because everything is screwed.”
Everyone kept quiet. We stared at Dr. Bent. I never imagined Anger Management to be full of so many angry people. Even the doctor was angry.
Tai had even more tears coming out of her now. She was pouring like a fountain. She sat back in the chair with her arms folded across her chest. She, like the rest of us, was looking right at Dr. Bent. Janine was very far away from Tai. It was as if she didn't even want to be near her. Janine kept looking back and forth from Dr. Bent to Tai.
Dr. Bent finally said, in a much calmer tone, ”Everything got screwed up by someone saying 'screw it'. They just give up. It makes it harder on others who haven't. The messed up things in this world are all around us. It's up to us if we are going to give up too, or learn to deal and make it better for ourselves. Tai, one day when you learn to not let your temper get the best of you, and you stay silent, listen, learn, and put it all together in your mind, you'll know the difference between the 'normal' things and what's just 'screwed up'.”
Tai wiped her face and didn't say a word. Janine looked at her with a strange expression that I couldn't understand. Tai's face grew dark.
Tai looked at Dr. Bent and said, ”Let's leave my lectures in my private therapy sessions, please.”
I could tell she was trying to show off.
Janine smiled at Tai for her smart remark and smooth comeback to Dr. Bent. She seemed embarra.s.sed, perhaps because she'd cried in front of everyone.
Dr. Bent remained calm and said, ”That's fine, Tai. However, know that I will get deep when you get deep with me. I am going to answer that question if you ask it, whether it's in here or in your private sessions with me. To answer the question you asked me, none of those things that hurt us are normal. You were right, none of us deserves to be hurt by people we are supposed to trust, nor should we be cut off in traffic by rude people, but these things happen. How do we manage to cope and how do we manage our anger when these things do happen? That is what we're here to learn.”
Tai stared down at the floor. She didn't respond.
”Okay,” Dr. Bent said. ”Daniel, you want to go next?”
”Sure,” he said after clearing his throat. ”I remember walking in the grocery store with my mom and my grandmother. My paternal grandmother was with us, and she is Black. Well, my mom is White. Anyways, there was a man, and he had said some racist stuff to us. My mom,” Daniel paused and shook his head, ”she didn't say anything. We walked away from the guy. It made me so mad. I could have just-” Daniel balled up his left fist and punched his right hand hard. I watched as his right hand turned deep red.
Dr. Bent leaned on the arm of her chair and asked Daniel, ”What did you do?”
”I stayed quiet too. I just walked out with my mom and tried to keep her calm.” He said it as if he regretted it.
”You said you were there with your father's mother and your mother. Where was your father?” Dr. Bent asked.
Daniel answered, ”He was in jail at the time.”
”What was he in jail for?”
”He was in jail for beating some guy into a coma at a bar for making a pa.s.s at my mom.” Daniel hid his face from us by looking down at the floor. He started messing with his shoelaces again.
”A lesson within itself. Isn't that right Daniel?” Dr. Bent said.
”Yeah, but I still wish I could have done something.” Daniel untied and retied his shoes. His face was red like his hand had been.
”You would feel that way,” Dr. Bent said. ”And you are allowed to feel that way. It was something that caused you to feel angry.”
”This is Anger Management, right?” Tai commented.