Part 4 (1/2)

The buddy. This is the boss who just wants to be one of the guys. He's always asking people to go to lunch with him. Whenever groups of employees gather he wants to be a part of whatever is happening. He wants to join in outside activities and sometimes will even organize. He talks a lot about his personal life, and wants advice on personal matters. He may love to hear himself talk and not be much of a listener, so he needs an audience. This is the boss who just wants to be one of the guys. He's always asking people to go to lunch with him. Whenever groups of employees gather he wants to be a part of whatever is happening. He wants to join in outside activities and sometimes will even organize. He talks a lot about his personal life, and wants advice on personal matters. He may love to hear himself talk and not be much of a listener, so he needs an audience.

For the past eight years Tim Kalamos has been one of the most productive insurance adjusters in the New York area. A former building contractor, he's expert at a.s.sessing how much and what type of repairs will be necessary, and then accurately projecting the costs. Because of his experience, he's also able to write up more reports in a week than almost anyone else at his company. Yet when he came to see me he felt his job was in danger. A new regional manager had taken over and seemed to have it in for Tim. When Tim came to me with his notes on his boss's behavior, we found an interesting pattern. The boss, who had just been transferred to the New York area from the Texas office, was constantly asking people for tips on where to go for lunch, where to shop, what doctors his family should use. Tim and I decided the boss's biggest need was for a buddy who could teach him about life in New York. Tim, a native New Yorker, was perfect for that role.

The loner. This is the boss who just wants to do her job and not be bothered with everything else. She's miserable about attending social gatherings or meetings that don't directly pertain to what she does. She issues directives to subordinates and wants not to be asked questions or to have to do any hand-holding. She's wants to avoid small talk and wants new challenges to tackle so she can keep busy. This is the boss who just wants to do her job and not be bothered with everything else. She's miserable about attending social gatherings or meetings that don't directly pertain to what she does. She issues directives to subordinates and wants not to be asked questions or to have to do any hand-holding. She's wants to avoid small talk and wants new challenges to tackle so she can keep busy.

Jon Halladay is a mechanical engineer working with a consulting firm that specializes in the aviation industry. Having been recruited to work for the firm from a major manufacturer of aircraft engines, Jon thought he'd be greeted as a welcome addition to the firm. But he soon realized the supervisor of the project he was working on was problematic. He came to see me for advice. Jon's discreet notes on the supervisor revealed someone who got angry whenever he was interrupted by a call from the company's management. The supervisor routinely let internal company paperwork slide and seemed to feud with every other manager, from the head bookkeeper to the director of sales. The only time he seemed happy was when he was staring intently at the screen of his workstation. It was soon clear to Jon and me that we were dealing with a loner. To thrive, Jon would need to serve as a gatekeeper.

The stickler. This is the boss who carries a huge rule book and needs to refer to it often. He wants everything done according to an established pattern he has set up, either in his head, or on paper if he's an obsessive. He focuses more on how and when things are done, than on the result. He cares a great deal about how the work area and the people in it look to others. This is the boss who carries a huge rule book and needs to refer to it often. He wants everything done according to an established pattern he has set up, either in his head, or on paper if he's an obsessive. He focuses more on how and when things are done, than on the result. He cares a great deal about how the work area and the people in it look to others.

Joan Kent is the daughter of one of the other partners in my law firm. Her father suggested she talk to me about the problems she was having at her first job after graduating college. Joan had studied landscape architecture at a prestigious Ivy League university. Her faculty adviser helped her land a position with a well-known architectural firm headquartered in the northern suburbs of New York. Joan became a member of the staff that drew up plans for the landscaping around the firm's corporate headquarters and shopping-center projects. Being a free spirit and creative, Joan just a.s.sumed she'd find a supportive environment. But rather than getting artistic feedback and input from her manager, all she heard was how her wardrobe wasn't professional, her rendering wasn't pristine, her lettering wasn't clear enough, and her designs didn't fit the firm's style. Eventually, she and I realized her manager, despite being in a creative field, was a stickler.

The glory seeker. This is the boss who has to be a hero, even if it means creating the crisis herself. She needs to be at the center of everything. She seeks out flattery. She always needs an audience and loves to hear herself talk. She may be very concerned about her appearance. She is jealous whenever anyone else gets credit or recognition. This is the boss who has to be a hero, even if it means creating the crisis herself. She needs to be at the center of everything. She seeks out flattery. She always needs an audience and loves to hear herself talk. She may be very concerned about her appearance. She is jealous whenever anyone else gets credit or recognition.

Nancy Bell was ready to quit when she first came to see me. She and her husband, a member of the New York City Council, had first come to see me when they purchased their co-op apartment. Now she was looking for advice about her job as development director for a small, specialized museum. A gifted schmoozer with a large social network, Nancy was a very good fund-raiser. Yet her boss, the director of the museum, seemed to have problems with her work. She and I went over her observations. He typically took the slightest snafu - most recently, sitting two antagonistic people at the same table at an event - and blew it up into an epic catastrophe. He then personally intervened, and finally, very publicly talked about how he had saved the museum from disaster. Nancy explained that he did this, not just with her, but with everyone from the curator to the building superintendent. She and I agreed he was a cla.s.sic glory seeker who needed to be seen as a hero, always riding to the rescue.

The fighter. This is the boss who's always seeking conflict. He's confrontational and has to get in the last word. He sets himself and his staff in compet.i.tion with other individuals, departments, or companies. He seems to thrive on putting others down. He seems to enjoy expressing anger.

I first met Tom Duffy when I appeared as a guest on a consumer news and information program he produced for a fledgling cable channel. He was an easygoing and very professional producer, so I was surprised when he called to tell me he had almost punched his boss the day before. I told him to come right in to see me. Tom was working on a new show at the same network, directly under the executive producer who had created the show. The executive producer, referred to by some as ”a programming genius,” had actually screamed at Tom in front of the entire cast and crew after a recent show. I calmed Tom down, walked him through my approach to work, and asked him to prepare an a.n.a.lysis of his boss's actions. When we went over them, it sounded like the man was a maniac. He not only ranted, raved, and insulted everyone from the cameraman to the hosts, but he seemed to have a vendetta against other shows on the network. He was the prototypical fighter boss.

The coward. This is the boss who's always afraid. She's frightened of anything new and every potential change. She's always seeing the potential risk or downside; for her there's a cloud around every silver lining and the gla.s.s is always half empty. Because she's so fearful she's always blaming others for problems.

When I told Janet Crosetti to figure out her department chairman's needs and wants, she really took the task to heart. She jotted down her observations for a week, and then when she realized there was no departmental staff meeting that week, continued making notes for another week. Janet even went to a PTA meeting and a school board meeting, both of which she knew her boss would attend, in order to observe her in different environments. She said she noticed that whenever a new idea was proposed, her boss reacted negatively, but using a different rationale depending on which audience she was facing. At a staff meeting she said the new idea - one of Janet's proposals - would take too much prep time. At the PTA meeting she knocked down one parent's idea by saying it could detract from the time spent with each child. And at the school board she responded to a question about creating a literary magazine for the school by saying it would be too costly. Janet said her boss's two favorite phrases were ”We've always...” and ”We've never...” Janet needed no help from me to see her department chairperson was a cowardly boss.

So Many Needs, So Little Time Once you've figured out your boss's needs, you have a simple mission: do whatever you can to help him or her meet one or more of those needs.

If you've found your boss has one pressing need, your task is clear. But if your boss has multiple needs, you'll have to do some prioritizing. You probably won't be able to meet all the needs you've uncovered, at least not right away. That's not a bad thing, however. Multiple needs offer multiple chances to curry favor with your boss. Once you've learned the technique, you can tackle one after another, growing in your boss's admiration each step along the way. But right now, let's concentrate on deciding which need you should address first.

Back in the 1950s a psychologist named Abraham Maslow developed a theory of human behavior based on needs. (See the box on page 90: Maslow's Achievers And Optimism.) He believed that individuals are motivated by unsatisfied needs, and that some needs must be satisfied before others. He arranged categories of needs into a pyramid shape, which he called the hierarchy of needs. The current model of Maslow's pyramid has eight stages, or types of needs.10 10. In the 1950s Maslow's initial model had five stages: biological and physiological needs, safety needs, belongingness and love needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization. During the 1970s the pyramid grew by another two stages, adding cognitive needs and aesthetic needs as two new levels between esteem needs and self-actualization. Finally, in the 1990s, the current eight-stage model was adopted.

MASLOW'S ACHIEVERS AND OPTIMISMMaslow's hierarchy of needs has become a favorite of those looking for psychological insights that can be applied in pragmatic ways. That's because, unlike most of the other major psychological theories, Maslow's is an optimistic philosophy based on high achievers. Freud based his theories on his study of mentally ill and neurotic individuals. B. F. Skinner studied how pigeons and rats learned. Both were determinists, seeing little difference between the motivations of humans and animals. Maslow, on the other hand, based his theory on his studies of exemplary individuals such as Albert Einstein, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Frederick Dougla.s.s. Maslow didn't believe humanity was destined for an endless cycle of violence and other evils. He theorized that as long as we're able to move toward satisfying our needs, we'll also move toward self-fulfillment and helping others fulfill their dreams. That's an excellent lesson for us to apply to our work lives: learn from the successful and believe your goal is within reach.

At the base of the pyramid are the most basic needs: those that are biological and physiological. These would include the basic needs to sustain life, such as air, food, water, and shelter, as well as being warm, sleeping, and s.e.xual urges. I think it's safe to a.s.sume your boss's most basic needs are already satisfied. And to be honest, if one isn't, there's nothing you can do that's appropriate to a work relations.h.i.+p.

Once those basic needs are satisfied, people move on to try to satisfy safety needs. These would be the needs of feeling physically safe and secure. I believe this is the first category of needs you may have to address. While they're not actually physical fears, I believe that any of the needs typical of the cowardly boss fit at this level. If your boss needs to be insulated or protected from change, that's the first need you should address. Maslow's theory is that people will only progress on to one category of needs after having all their ”lower” needs satisfied. That means if you try to address a higher-level need than your boss's fear of new things, you'll probably be unsuccessful.

After someone's basic needs are met and he's feeling out of danger, he moves on to address needs of belongingness and love. These would be the desire to feel part of a family or group, to give and receive affection, to have relations.h.i.+ps with others. If, for instance, your boss shows signs of wanting to be part of the group or develop friends.h.i.+ps, that would be a belongingness need. Here's where most of the buddy-boss needs fall.

When belongingness and love needs are addressed, people next move to what Maslow calls esteem needs. These are the needs to achieve, to have status, and to gain others' approval. You can divide esteem needs into two types: first are those that boost self-esteem, like being good at what you do; second are those that represent the need for the esteem of others, say, wanting to have a good reputation. The loner-boss traits fit the need for self-esteem, while the stickler, fighter, and glory-seeker-boss traits fit the need for others' esteem.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs continues on to include cognitive needs (self-awareness and knowledge), aesthetic needs (beauty and order), self-actualization needs (self - fulfillment and growth), and finally transcendence needs (helping others to grow or become self - fulfilled). However, I don't think any of these steps actually fit into the workplace relations.h.i.+p. In the previous chapter I stressed that you shouldn't look to the workplace for emotional, spiritual, and psychological satisfaction. Well, neither should you try to satisfy these needs in your boss. If he needs self-awareness, he should go into therapy. If she needs beauty, she should take up her brush and paint. And if he needs self-fulfillment and to help others grow, he should go to a house of wors.h.i.+p.

Applying Maslow's hierarchy of needs to your goal of securing your job means addressing cowardly-boss needs first, buddy-boss needs second, and only then any of the loner, fighter, glory-seeker, or stickler needs. Turn back to the page on which you've written down your boss's needs and wants. Rank them according to how they fit in with Maslow's hierarchy.

Janet Crosetti, for example, realized that her department chairman exhibited both safety and belongingness needs (she was always looking for someone to go out for a drink with her after school board meetings). Applying Maslow, Janet decided she had to address her boss's safety needs before her belongingness needs. But she still had to figure out exactly how she would go about making her department chairman safe.

Meeting Your Boss's Needs There's really no mystery to how to meet your boss's needs. Simply provide what he or she is looking for. For example, if you find that your boss needs to feel like part of the crowd, invite him to every group event you're attending. If she wants to avoid certain meetings, offer to attend them in her place. Let's say your boss wants to be a hero. Well, make sure to give him credit for all your own accomplishments. Maybe your boss is obsessed with her staff's appearance. In that case, dress exactly like her. Have a boss who needs to compete? Find him a target. And if your boss is afraid of risks, help her identify and eliminate new hazards. In most cases, figuring out how to meet your boss's needs will be easy. Let's go back to the six types of bosses I outlined earlier and see how to meet their needs and wants.

The buddy. Go to lunch with this boss whenever he asks...and ask him him sometimes as well. Make sure to make him part of every group activity. If all the junior staff are planning to go out for drinks after work on Friday, ask him to come along. If he demurs, saying he doesn't want to horn in, a.s.sure him he's not...even if he is. Make sure he knows about the plan to form a company softball team, and if he wants to become manager, welcome the idea. When he talks about his wife and kids, listen attentively and ask for more details. If he wants personal advice, offer the best you can muster. sometimes as well. Make sure to make him part of every group activity. If all the junior staff are planning to go out for drinks after work on Friday, ask him to come along. If he demurs, saying he doesn't want to horn in, a.s.sure him he's not...even if he is. Make sure he knows about the plan to form a company softball team, and if he wants to become manager, welcome the idea. When he talks about his wife and kids, listen attentively and ask for more details. If he wants personal advice, offer the best you can muster.

Tim Kalamos had determined that his boss's biggest need was for a friend who could teach him about, and help him adjust to, life in New York. Tim invited his boss to lunch. Over corned beef sandwiches Tim explained that his brother was a doctor and he'd be happy to get some suggestions from him for a good family physician. Tim's wife was a teacher who could help with ideas about private schools. And, coincidentally, Tim was going to Barneys for clothes at the end of the week. Did his boss want to come along?

The loner. Do all you can to help your loner boss avoid others' influence. Offer to run weekly staff meetings on her behalf, providing her with a written memo afterward so as not to bother her. Suggest you'd be happy to attend the monthly after-hours industry get-togethers she loathes. Listen to her orders and follow them, asking for any clarifications in writing only. Say you're willing to show the ropes to the new hire and hold his hand while he learns the job. Bring your boss ideas for new projects and challenges.

After a.n.a.lyzing his boss, Jon Halladay thought he was a loner whom Jon could serve by being a gatekeeper. Jon offered to serve as the department's liaison with the company's other departments, and to handle all the requests for reports from company management. Jon offered to help manage the routine paperwork to free up his boss's day for engineering work.

The stickler. Follow the stickler boss's rules to the letter. Show up on time and, as subtly as possible, imitate your boss's appearance. Follow his favored procedures to the letter, whether or not it's necessary or even productive. It's the process that matters to the stickler, not the outcome, so do things by his book. Whenever a new situation comes up, suggest he establish new rules to follow. Help him codify everything and follow his rules religiously.

It took a bit of persuading to get recent graduate Joan Kent to accept that she needed to follow her stickler boss's rules. Joan gave up her funky wardrobe for professional suits that mirrored her boss's garb. She asked her boss for help and advice in getting her lettering up to snuff. Her most effective move was asking for a meeting with her boss to go over all the architecture firm's landscape style rules and attentively taking notes, and immediately following the rules to the letter.

The glory seeker. When working for a glory seeker, make sure every one of your triumphs is attributed to your boss. Ask her often to share her wisdom and advice, alone and in group settings. Flatter both her actions and her appearance. Make sure to ask how she is feeling and what she is thinking, in order to offer her a ready platform.

Nancy Bell decided that the secret to managing her glory-seeker boss was to beat her to the punch. Rather than letting her turn every minor situation into a crisis and then resolve it, Nancy began coming to her with ”problems” only the boss could solve. Nancy took to bringing her in to finalize donations that had actually already been finalized, and then made sure to give her all the credit.

The fighter. The real key to dealing with a fighter boss is not to become his target. Suggest opponents, both inside and outside the organization. Offer scapegoats and targets for his anger. Whatever type of compet.i.tion he perceives, do your best to help him win, whatever that means. Encourage him to express his anger by subtly goading him into action.

Tom Duffy had a hard time playing up to, rather than punching out, his fighter boss. Still, after some careful reflection he started working to meet his executive producer's needs. First, he told him how a rival show on another network had stolen one of their potential guests, setting it up as an adversary. Then he suggested that some of the advertising staff inside their own network weren't giving their show its due.

The coward. When dealing with a cowardly boss, try to show her that what at first appears to be new really isn't new, and therefore is nothing to be feared. Try to eliminate or mitigate anything and everything that causes your boss fear. Offer to accept the blame whenever she's afraid of something going wrong. Identify risks for her in advance of their becoming immediate problems, and either remove them or show how they can be overcome.

Janet Crosetti resolved to come up with ways to overcome her cowardly boss's fears. Instead of presenting proposals as being her own new idea, she began framing them as modifications of things the department chairman herself had done years earlier. When the chairman was about to deny approval of a new software suite for the writing lab, Janet offered to accept the blame if the board questioned the cost. Finally, prior to the creation of a student film festival, Janet warned about inappropriate subject matter and suggested the department narrowly define the types of film that could be entered.

Two Ways to Pretest Your Plans If you're unsure whether your plans for meeting your boss's needs will work, there are a couple of things you can do.

First, look around the organization for someone, anyone, who handles your boss well. It could be a peer of your boss or another employee who's clearly the favorite. Spend a few days paying careful attention to how he or she interacts with your boss. How does she respond to your boss's troublesome behaviors? What does he say when your boss lashes out? Consciously or not, this person has figured out how to manage a problematic boss. Learn from him. By the way, this is also a terrific tool if you're at a loss for ways to meet your boss's needs. Just do whatever the boss's favorite does and you'll be fine.

Second, you can cloak your ideas in a memo that suggests a response to a problem or proposes a new initiative, and see how your boss responds to the memo. For example, you can finger potential rivals in a memo for your fighter boss and see if that diverts his anger away from you and marks you as an ally. Or you can write a memo that spins your new idea as actually being a very subtle updating of your boss's brilliant original concept of years back, and see if that a.s.suages the cowardly boss's fears. (See the box on page 97: Janet Crosetti's Memo.) Although the written word is actually more permanent than the spoken word, its impact on your boss's perception of you is much shorter lasting. That means if you were off target you won't have to suffer for very long. If your written trial balloon works, follow it up as soon as possible with a similar face-to-face effort to solidify the positive perception.

JANET CROSETTI'S MEMOHere's an excerpt from Janet's memo to her department chairman:To spice up my cla.s.ses this year I spent some time going back over some of the great things the department has done in the past. I came across information on a terrific diary-writing exercise you used in your cla.s.ses. If you don't object I'd like to use your idea in my cla.s.ses, just subst.i.tuting the design and writing of blogs (Web logs) for the diaries. I'd love to speak with you to get your advice on what parts of the diary exercise worked best, and what you did to make it so successful. I can speak anytime after 2:00 p.m. this week.

Isn't This Obvious Brownnosing?

At some point in my discussions with clients they usually have some reservations about working to meet their boss's needs.

Many will hesitate about directly doing whatever it is their boss appears to want. ”Won't it be obvious?” they ask. ”My boss will see right through it and I'll be in a worse situation than I am now,” they worry. I know that's what lots of people think, but, in all honesty, people never see through these efforts. Why? Because there's nothing to see through. You are actually trying to help them meet their needs; you're not pretending. Sure, your motivation is to help yourself, but that's not what your boss will see. While you aren't really putting his needs first, he will think you are. That's because he is always putting his needs first. Rather than being skeptical about your motivation, he will like you...no, love you.

And that leads right to the other objection. ”Isn't this just brownnosing?” I'm often asked. My answer is, yes...but what's wrong with that? You aren't doing anything to harm anyone else. You are helping your boss meet his needs, and in the effort, you're meeting your own. I call that a win-win situation. Even in situations where you are dealing with a fighter boss and you're offering targets other than yourself, you're not initiating the attacks. Those attacks will come regardless of what you do or don't do. All you're trying to do is deflect them from yourself and perhaps steer them somewhere justified.

Most important, this type of behavior works. A recent survey of executives conducted in the Wall Street Journal Wall Street Journal showed that, in retrospect, all had been swayed by subordinates who played up to them in one way or another. The key words are ”in retrospect.” All the executives admitted that, at the time, they didn't think it was flattery or, if you like, brownnosing. And when pushed, most of the executives admitted that they behaved similarly in their climb to the top. That's because it works. showed that, in retrospect, all had been swayed by subordinates who played up to them in one way or another. The key words are ”in retrospect.” All the executives admitted that, at the time, they didn't think it was flattery or, if you like, brownnosing. And when pushed, most of the executives admitted that they behaved similarly in their climb to the top. That's because it works.

By working to meet the needs of your boss you do further your own goals. By appearing to put him or her first you actually put yourself first. Don't have any moral qualms over these kinds of actions. Remember, you're not at work to save the world or to further your art. You're working to make money. I don't think you should feel any guilt over this. But in the off chance you do, you'll have plenty of time to make up for it with all the free time you've gained by putting your boss first.

Don't use up all those extra hours, however. Because from now on you're going to be spending part of every week, even every day, fis.h.i.+ng for a new job. You'll cast your net in the next chapter.

Chapter 5.