Part 2 (2/2)

But let's put the money issue aside for a few chapters. Right now let's focus on satisfaction. After all, if you're like most of my clients, you didn't pursue a career to earn more money; you wanted fulfillment. The problem is that in your pursuit of fulfillment through work you've stolen time from the areas of life that are far more likely to provide fulfillment: personal relations.h.i.+ps, community, hobbies, and religion.

Instead of looking to better society through your work, why not do it after work? Sure, it's possible to find a job that directly or indirectly helps the poor. That would indeed be a n.o.ble pursuit. But if that's your goal, why not volunteer at a soup kitchen instead? That's far easier to achieve and guaranteed to offer the kind of rewards you're seeking.

Looking for creative fulfillment? There are people who are able to find work that provides artistic satisfaction, but they are few and far between. Instead, why not paint watercolors on the weekend? You'll be creating what you want, not what someone else demands.

Rather than working hour after hour at a job you hope will give you a sense of emotional satisfaction, spend more time at home with your life partner and children and family and friends. You're far more likely to get emotional satisfaction from teaching your daughter to ride a two-wheeler than from making a killer presentation to the board.

Crave a sense of community? Get active in your house of wors.h.i.+p or a local service organization. Being a member of a congregation, for instance, is more likely to give you a sense of belonging than being named to the project team for the Acme account.

Sometimes, when I suggest to clients that they kill their career, I'm met with indignation. Clients ask if I'm saying they can't have it all, that it's a mistake to look for work in a field they love, or that it's impossible to find satisfaction at work today. I've thought a great deal about that question because it's a fair one and deserves an honest, thoughtful answer.

”Can't I Have It All?”

Is it possible to have it all? To have a job you love that is both rewarding and lucrative, as well as a satisfying personal life? I will admit it is possible. But, truth be told, it's not probable. It's a one-in-a-million chance. A real long shot. How many social workers or poets earn six figures? How many executives pulling down seven-figure salaries are home every night for dinner with their family? Sure, there are some, but I see them as the exceptions that prove the rule.

And look at what you'd be risking in the gamble to be one of these few. You'd be giving up surefire opportunities to achieve some of your cherished goals on a roll of the dice to try to achieve all of them. I'm not willing to take that risk with your life. Instead, I'd rather help you kill your career.

Let me tell you a little story that perhaps will ill.u.s.trate my point. It's a well-known fable that comes in various incarnations. Here's my favorite.

A very wealthy businessman is finally convinced by his wife to go on a relaxing vacation. In order to ensure that he doesn't keep calling his office, his wife books them a small house on a tiny, extremely isolated, very beautiful island. The island is little more than a small village surrounding a harbor. The house the couple rents has a balcony overlooking both the harbor and the town's central square, where there's a cafe, a church, and a small grocery. The first full day he's on the island the businessman wakes, pours himself a cup of coffee, and goes to sit on the balcony. Down in the village square he sees a young man leave his home and walk toward the docks. The fisherman loads his nets in a small skiff and rows out to sea. The businessman imagines how peaceful it must be to fish these waters.

Later that same day the businessman and his wife are sitting on the balcony having lunch. He looks down and sees the same young fisherman rowing back to the dock. His skiff is filled with dozens of baskets overflowing with fish. The businessman watches as the fisherman carries his baskets to the grocery, where he sells his catch and buys some groceries. The fisherman goes back to his house. Later that evening, after having dinner on the balcony, the businessman sees the fisherman along with what must be his family - a wife and two young children - strolling to the cafe. The family melts into what must be the town's entire population. There's laughing, drinking, and singing.

The next day the businessman sees the fisherman go through the exact same pattern. He leaves around breakfast, returns with an incredible catch by lunch, sells it at the grocery, goes home, and then appears at the cafe with his family after dinner. The day after that the pattern is the same again. After watching this for four days the businessman feels compelled to speak to the fisherman.

On the fifth day the businessman approaches the fisherman after he has sold his catch but before he's gone home. ”Excuse me,” the businessman says. ”Since my wife and I have been renting that house over there, I couldn't help but see you fish every day. You're an incredible fisherman. I'm a very successful businessman, and I think with just a little bit of effort you could become very wealthy.”

”What do you mean?” asks the fisherman.

”Well,” says the businessman, ”if you went back out in the afternoon and fished for a full day rather than half the day you could double your money.”

”What would I do with the extra money?” asks the fisherman.

”First you could use it to buy a bigger boat,” says the businessman. ”Then you could use the even greater profits to buy a second boat and hire an a.s.sistant. Eventually you could make enough money so you didn't have to fish yourself.”

”What would I do then?” the fisherman asks.

”Anything you wanted,” the businessman says. ”You could relax, spend time with your family and with your friends.”

The fisherman looks confused, and then says, ”But that's exactly what I do now.”

There are lots of morals you can gain from the story. For me, the message has always been that you can't have it all if you don't have time to do it all. Sometimes doing less actually yields you more.

a.s.suming I've got you convinced, do not - I repeat, do not - go into your boss's office and say you're not staying late tonight because you've got to take junior to his little league game. Killing your career is an att.i.tude adjustment, not a suicide attempt. It begins by trying to become more like that proverbial fisherman and keeping focused on the ends, rather than the means.

Why Do You Work?

In order to focus on the ends, you first need to figure out what they are. You need to ask yourself, ”Why do I work?”

It's rare that we actually ask ourselves that question. As we discussed in the previous chapter, we've given control over our work lives to others. By not being in charge of our own work life, by not thinking about why we're working, we're acting reflexively rather than reflectively. It's time to change that.

Over the years of asking my clients to tell me why they work, I've been given many different answers. But after looking over my notes and thinking about all my consultations, I've determined that there are really only eight answers. My clients and, I a.s.sume, you work for one of these eight reasons:

For power

For respect

For security

To travel

To serve

To meet people

To express yourself

For money

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