Part 23 (1/2)

We are in so much trouble.

Weblog Entry 4/10/03 A FAIRY TALE.

One upon a time there was a beautiful Executive Princess named Jennifer. She worked for a wonderful company who treated her nicely and paid her even better! She was very, very happy.

Her product line was doing great, so her company decided they would buy one of their compet.i.tors so they'd be even stronger in the marketplace. Princess Jen was a little concerned, because she'd been through mergers with other companies. She went to each of her eleven bosses (yeah, you read that right) and said, ”I am concerned. I've never been through a merger where there weren't job losses.” Her eleven very nice bosses promised her that her position was secure because she did such a terrific job! Hooray!

Two days later she went to work and they gave her a box and showed her the door. She said, ”What happened? You promised me that every thing was going well. And that my job was secure.” They were real nice and super apologetic, and said she was let go as ”a business decision.” She never got a better explanation.

Jen was really happy because every potential employer simply accepts the explanation of her layoff as being a ”business decision.” Boy, they never question that! It certainly doesn't sound like she was selling confidential information or stealing office supplies! And these potential employers always believe that a person who was crus.h.i.+ng her goals would be cut loose for no apparent reason. So her search to find a new job with a livable salary has been so easy!

Now she has to sell her Cadillac in order to keep paying for her apartment in the ghetto.

And she's really f.u.c.king bitter.

The end.

I can deal with the fact that I have to sell the car, even though I wasn't thrilled with the idea at first, to put it mildly. I kind of launched into Fletch when he brought it up,156 until I realized that all we really have right now is each other. If we start attacking each other over what could have been, we'll fall apart. Plus, I'd rather have a couple of bucks in the bank. If a little extra money returns the smile to Fletch's face, then I'm all for it. As it is now, the car's just sitting on the street depreciating like mad, and the insurance on it in this 'hood is insane.157 What I can't deal with is what happened with Birchton. Granted, if they didn't think my site was funny, I probably wouldn't have meshed with their corporate culture. Maybe if I worked there, I'd feel constrained all the time and couldn't really be myself. Regardless, I'd have liked the chance to try.

I don't understand how they found out about my Web site. Yeah, it's been getting more and more hits lately, but it's almost totally anonymous. Even the domain registry is under Fletch's name, so there's no way to trace it back to me. I've tried to call Courtney to see if she has any scoop because Birchton's still her client and she talks to them all the time, but I haven't heard back from her. Come to think of it, neither has Brett. I hate bugging people at work, but this is making me crazy, so I'm going to call her.

I dial Courtney's direct line. ”Good afternoon, thank you for calling Corp. Com.,” answers a male voice.

”Mo? Is that you?” It sounds like my buddy Maurice, who's an administrative a.s.sistant at Corp. Com.

”Yes, it is. May I ask with whom I'm speaking?”

”Mo, you big nerd, it's Jen!”

”Jen girl! I miss you! Things aren't the same without you. When are we getting together for daiquiris?”

”Let's wait till it gets a little warmer so we can go somewhere outside. I'd say a couple of weeks.”

”I'm going to hold you to it.”

”Good. It's been way too long.” I'm just about to launch into gossip mode when I remember why I called in the first place. ”Sweetie, why are you answering Courtney's phone? Is she out?”

”Girl, Courtney's gone.”

”You know what? I can't say I'm surprised. Last time we got together, she was on a tear about how moody Kathleen's been and how much business has dropped off. I'm glad to hear she finally got out-that place was totally stressing her.”

He drops his voice. ”It's no fun anymore. Everyone here is boring and ugly. Remember Friday Fiestas and margaritas at lunch? Completely over now.”

”Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry to hear it.”

”The good news is that it's got me thinking of opening my own Birkenstock shop up in Boystown. If I do, will you help me with the marketing?”

”Anything for you, Mo.”

”Uh-oh, I'm getting the fish eye from Kathleen. I'd better scoot.”

”It was so nice to talk to you. Oh, wait, I almost forgot. I want to get ahold of Court. Do you know where I can find her?”

”She went to work for one of her clients. Um, it's um...gosh, what's their name again?”

No.

NO.

She wouldn't.

I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fists. Please don't let this be true. ”Birchton & Co., perhaps?” ”Yes! That's it! Birchton! I think I've got the number-do you want it?”

”No, no, I've got it. Thanks anyway, Mo. I'll talk to you later.”

”Bye for now, Miss Thang.”

So now I know how Birchton got my URL. Et tu, Courtney?

How could she do this to me? I would never screw someone like this, not even my worst enemy. I mean, how could she listen to me cry about being jobless and broke for all these months and then knowingly and deliberately swoop down and steal the one good opportunity from me?

Granted, I didn't necessarily handle her feelings with kid gloves, but I always tried to act in her best interests. I got bossy and officious with the Brad/Chad stuff not because I'm a b.i.t.c.h but because I wanted to protect her. I set her up with Brett because I thought he could make her happy. And this is how I'm rewarded for being a decent, honest, albeit somewhat pushy friend?

Shoot, I tried to talk her into applying at Birchton long before I ever did. With her P.R. background, I thought she'd be a great a.s.set to their organization. And even while I was interviewing there, I kept asking, ”Are you sure you don't want the job? It would get you away from Kathleen and you'd be great at it.” I gave her every chance to claim this job honestly, and instead she tacitly denied any interest while sticking a knife in my back.

I will never forgive or forget this.

You are dead to me, Courtney. Dead.

Randolph Street Starbucks Weblog Entry 4/13/03 WHEN I GROW UP.

Oddly enough, I'm flattered my website had the power to keep me from getting hired. Any company who doesn't get what this site is about probably isn't the place for me. Unfortunately, I still need to do something to pay bills, so the job search continues.