Chapter 94 (1/2)

Shi Yan answered the phone, but all he heard was a disconnect tone so he thought the line got cut. He put the phone back down to wait. Ten minutes later, it still didn’t ring. If it was his buddies like Wang Feng and the rest who often contacted him through the phone, Shi Yan’s parents would have been able to tell who it was. So Shi Yan asked his father who had called, but his father said he didn’t recognise the voice; the other party had only said, “Hello, is Shi Yan at home?”

Shi Yan thought that his buddy wanted him to bring something back for them because the others didn’t return, while Shi Yan had been sent back in a car this afternoon. Now that he heard his father say that, Shi Yan was certain that it wasn’t them. Those buddies of his would call his parents Uncle Shi and Auntie, and they definitely wouldn’t say ‘nin’, but ‘ni’1. While he was searching his brain for someone who would talk in that kind of manner, he suddenly felt like he was struck by lightning — a hunch made Shi Yan’s heart hurt as if it was being burnt by hot oil.

He suspected that he had come back — this phone call wasn’t for him, but for his own confirmation. Shi Yan went back to his room, sat down, stood up, walked about here and there before he made up his mind and grabbed his keys to go out. When he met He Nuo, Shi Yan observed all his nuances and found nothing unusual about He Nuo. All of his reactions were extremely normal and natural; his pleasantly surprised expression was exactly the same as when he had suddenly appeared several times before. And he still happily poured a cup of water for him, then he had the “appropriate” blaming tone in his voice, “If you had something on yesterday, then you should’ve told me ah. I almost fell asleep while waiting for you.”

When he passed the water to Shi Yan, he suddenly cried out in surprise, “Ah! Ah!!! I forgot, I thought you weren’t coming back so I refunded the ticket, what do we do?” A 川 appeared between Shi Yan’s eyebrows.

He Nuo sat down and smiled as he massaged the wrinkle between his brows, his fingers stretched it out as if they were ironing them, “Who knew you…….”

He didn’t continue, because Shi Yan had grabbed He Nuo’s icy hands. If you only looked at He Nuo’s perfect expression, you wouldn’t have noticed that his hand was trembling.

Their eyes met. He Nuo smiled modestly, “A flat stretch of land is better2.”

Shi Yan jumped up, He Nuo was still looking at him with his perfect expression. Shi Yan turned around and walked outside, “Go, let’s head out.”

He Nuo wasn’t bothered either. He sat behind Shi Yan’s bike as they rode all the way to the park, then walked to the place where they had taken an intimate picture together. On that autumn, fallen leaves the colour of bananas were strewn everywhere, and their feelings were reconciled within all that desolation; this autumn, there were peaches and plums everywhere, and there was a thick scent of spring in the air. But in He Nuo’s eyes, everything was falling with a whistle and a patter, and who knew if Shi Yan’s world was also full of wreckage and debris. It was as if they were in a competition as these two people at a standstill became more motionless, and more silent than the other.

A silent world needed someone to break its ice, He Nuo decided to shoulder this heavy responsibility. He puffed his chest out, raised his head and looked at Shi Yan; while Shi Yan went through the same process in synchrony — their eyes met. Too familiar, their familiarity with each other had seeped into their bones, so their best disguises seemed like it was being placed under an X-ray under each of their perspectives — everything could be seen through at a glance.

“You knew I came back?”

“Aren’t you standing in front of me now.” He Nuo was amused at Shi Yan’s superfluous question.

“In that, in that period of time when we were together, did you see it as us being in a relationship?”

“Should be ba.”

“Did you, ever think that we had a lot of misunderstandings?” Every word Shi Yan forced through his mouth seemed like he was trying to squeeze out toothpaste, and he even wore a pained expression on his face.

“And?” He Nuo had always worn his perfect expression, and didn’t look impatient at all.

“When we first met, you were badly bullied by me, so afterwards I always felt like I’ve let you down and I wanted to make it up to you. Then I found out that you didn’t have any friends, that you were in poor health, and how you weren’t being treated very well at home too. On the other hand, because of how well I treated you — or because there were too few people who treated you well — you thought that I was the best person for you. But sympathy isn’t love, and gratitude isn’t love either. We just mixed these feelings up, which was why so many misunderstandings occurred.”

He Nuo listened carefully to Shi Yan’s speech; Shi Yan said it both anxiously and hurriedly as if he was reciting a script, like beans that were falling out of a bamboo tube as it jumped out everywhere with a splutter.

Shi Yan paused and waited for He Nuo’s feedback. The upward curve of the latter’s lips still existed.

“Un, so?”

“I was thinking that we could still be friends, but we need to calm down for awhile. Before we resolve all our misunderstandings, we shouldn’t meet up.”

“Un.”