Part 43 (1/2)
When she got up to her apartment, Orbit greeted her with a yawn that displayed his mouthful of sharply pointed teeth. It was hard to impress a tsiongi. Had she bought a beffel, it would have danced around her and jumped up on her, squeaking wildly all the time. But a beffel would have wrecked the apartment while she was gone. Orbit didn't do things like that.
One of the pieces of mail she'd picked up was a flyer that began, IN CASE OF EMERGENCY IN CASE OF EMERGENCY. The emergency it was talking about was a Deutsch attack. Nesseref began to wonder if she should have been glad to come home.
Every step Sam Yeager took out from the hub of the stars.h.i.+p made him feel heavier. Every step he took also made him hotter; the Race favored temperatures like those of a very hot day in Los Angeles. Turning to his son, he said, ”You're dressed for the weather better than I am, that's for sure.”
As at his previous meeting with Ka.s.squit, Jonathan wore only a pair of shorts. He nodded and said, ”You must be dying in that uniform.”
”I'll get by.” Sam chuckled. ”Ka.s.squit'll be better dressed for it than either one of us.” Jonathan didn't answer that; Sam suspected he'd embarra.s.sed his son by implying that he noticed what a woman was or wasn't wearing.
Somewhat to his surprise, the Lizard leading them to Ka.s.squit turned out to speak English. He said, ”The whole notion of wrappings, except to protect yourselves from the nasty cold on Tosev 3, is nothing but foolishness.”
”No.” Sam made the negative hand gesture. He thought about going into the language of the Race, but decided not to; English was better suited to the subject matter. ”Clothes are also part of our s.e.xual display. Sometimes they keep us from thinking about mating, but sometimes they make us think about it.”
Had their guide been a human being, he would have sniffed. As things were, he waggled his eye turrets and spoke one dismissive word: ”Foolishness.”
”Do you think so?” Jonathan Yeager asked in the language of the Race. ”Would you say the same thing after you smell the pheromones of a female who has just tasted ginger?” The Lizard didn't answer. In fact, he didn't say another word till he'd led Sam and Jonathan to the chamber in which Ka.s.squit sat waiting for them.
”I greet you, superior female,” Sam said in the language of the Race. His son echoed him. They both briefly a.s.sumed the posture of respect.
Ka.s.squit got up from her seat and politely returned it. She was smoother at it than either of them, having no doubt had much more practice. ”I greet you, Sam Yeager, Jonathan Yeager,” she said, and sat down again.
”It is good to see you once more,” Sam said. It was disconcerting to see so much of her; he had to work to keep his eyes on her face and not on her small, firm b.r.e.a.s.t.s or the slit between her legs, which looked all the more naked for being shaved. She made no move to conceal herself; she had no idea that she ought to conceal herself. Jonathan's right, Jonathan's right, Sam thought. Sam thought. I'm not as used to skin as he is. I'm not as used to skin as he is.
”And it is good to see both of you,” she answered seriously, innocent in her nakedness. ”I shall remember your visits all the days of my life, for they are so different from anything I have known before.”
”They are different for us, too,” Jonathan said. ”You live in s.p.a.ce. To us, getting here is an adventure in itself.”
”I did not think it would be so bad,” Ka.s.squit said in obvious dismay; adventure adventure had connotations of hards.h.i.+p in the language of the Race that it lacked in English. ”You came on one of our shuttlecraft, after all, and with us s.p.a.ceflight is routine.” had connotations of hards.h.i.+p in the language of the Race that it lacked in English. ”You came on one of our shuttlecraft, after all, and with us s.p.a.ceflight is routine.”
Sam did his best to spread oil on troubled waters: ”One of these days, it would be nice if you could visit us down on the surface of Tosev 3.”
”I have thought of this,” Ka.s.squit said. ”I do not yet know whether it can be arranged, or whether it would prove expedient if it can.”
Ever since he'd whiled away summer afternoons fis.h.i.+ng for bluegill and c.r.a.ppie in the creek that ran through his parents' farm, Sam had known how to bait a hook. ”Would you not be interested to learn what being among Tosevites is like?” he asked. ”If you wore our style of wrappings and false hair, you would look just like everyone else.”
If that wasn't bait, he didn't know what was. Poor Ka.s.squit had to be the most isolated individual in the world. Even Mickey and Donald don't have it so bad, Even Mickey and Donald don't have it so bad, he thought uneasily. he thought uneasily. They've got each other, and she 's got n.o.body. They've got each other, and she 's got n.o.body. Tempting her hardly seemed fair, but he was a soldier on duty and a human being loyal to his species, while she wasn't human except by parentage, undoubtedly wished that parentage hadn't happened, and served the Race with all her heart. Tempting her hardly seemed fair, but he was a soldier on duty and a human being loyal to his species, while she wasn't human except by parentage, undoubtedly wished that parentage hadn't happened, and served the Race with all her heart.
He could tell the hook had gone home, all right. It might well tear out of her mouth, of course; people were a lot more complicated than bluegill. Her face didn't show much, but then, like Liu Mei's, her face never showed much. But she leaned forward in her seat and took a couple of deep breaths. If that wasn't intrigued interest, he had scales and eye turrets himself.
”To look like everyone else?” she said musingly. ”I have never imagined such a thing-except in my wishes and dreams, where I look like a proper female of the Race.” n.o.body raised by humans would have told a near-stranger anything so intimate; Ka.s.squit didn't understand the limits behind which people functioned. Then she said something that made Sam sit up and take notice: ”If war comes, I may be safer in the not-empire called the United States than here aboard this stars.h.i.+p.”
”Do you really think there will be a war between the Reich Reich and the Race?” Jonathan blurted. He hardly seemed better at concealing what he felt than Ka.s.squit did, and what he felt was horrified dismay. and the Race?” Jonathan blurted. He hardly seemed better at concealing what he felt than Ka.s.squit did, and what he felt was horrified dismay.
”Who can know?” Ka.s.squit answered. ”The Race does not want to fight the Reich, Reich, but the but the Reich Reich has no business making demands on the Race.” has no business making demands on the Race.”
”That is about what our government thinks, too, but we have little influence on what goes on in the Reich Reich,” Sam said.
”Too bad,” Ka.s.squit told him. ”For Big Uglies, you seem sensible, you Americans, aside from your absurd custom of snoutcounting.”
”We like it,” Sam said. ”It seems to suit us. We are not a people who care to be told what to do by anyone.”
”But what if those who tell you what to do know more about a question than you do?” Ka.s.squit asked. ”Does a physician not know more about how to keep you healthy than you can know for yourself?”
”Judging who is an expert in public affairs is harder,” Sam replied. ”Many claim to be experts, but they all want to do different things. That makes choosing among them harder. So we let those who convince the largest number of us that they are wise and good govern our not-empire.”
”What if they lie?” Ka.s.squit asked bluntly.
”If we find out, we do not choose them again,” Yeager said. ”We choose them for terms of so many years, not for life, and we hope they cannot do too much damage while in office. What if the Race has a very bad Emperor? He is the Emperor for as long as he lives.”
”His ministers will do what is right regardless,” Ka.s.squit said. ”And even a bad Emperor's spirit will watch over the spirits of citizens of the Empire. What good is a bad Tosevite snout-counted official after he is dead? None whatever.”
No sooner had Sam discarded one particular question as impolitic than Jonathan asked it: ”How do you know spirits of Emperors past watch over other spirits? Is it not a superst.i.tion, the same as our Tosevite superst.i.tions?”
”Of course it is not a superst.i.tion,” Ka.s.squit said indignantly. ”It is a truth. The truth is not a superst.i.tion.”
”How do you know?” Jonathan persisted. Sam made a small gesture, warning his son not to push it too hard.
He gave Ka.s.squit credit. Instead of saying something like, I just do, I just do, she gave a serious answer: ”All the males and females of three species on three worlds believe it. All the males and females of the Race have believed it for more than a hundred thousand years, since Home was unified. Could so many believe such a thing for so long if it were not true?” she gave a serious answer: ”All the males and females of three species on three worlds believe it. All the males and females of the Race have believed it for more than a hundred thousand years, since Home was unified. Could so many believe such a thing for so long if it were not true?”
”And you believe it?” Sam asked gently.
”I do.” Ka.s.squit made the affirmative gesture. ”Spirits of Emperors past will will cherish my spirit. And my spirit, when that time comes, will look no different from any other.” She spoke with great confidence. cherish my spirit. And my spirit, when that time comes, will look no different from any other.” She spoke with great confidence.
You poor kid, Yeager thought. He had to look away from her for a moment; tears were stinging his eyes, and he couldn't let her see that. Yeager thought. He had to look away from her for a moment; tears were stinging his eyes, and he couldn't let her see that. And the worst part of it is, you only know a fraction of what all the Lizards have done to you, because there so much of it you can't see, any more than a fish sees water. And the worst part of it is, you only know a fraction of what all the Lizards have done to you, because there so much of it you can't see, any more than a fish sees water. But then he shook his head. No, that wasn't the worst part of it after all. He could see just how warped the Race had made Ka.s.squit, and he knew d.a.m.n well he was going to go right on raising Mickey and Donald as if they were human beings. But then he shook his head. No, that wasn't the worst part of it after all. He could see just how warped the Race had made Ka.s.squit, and he knew d.a.m.n well he was going to go right on raising Mickey and Donald as if they were human beings. What a son of a b.i.t.c.h I am. But it's my job, dammit. What a son of a b.i.t.c.h I am. But it's my job, dammit.
He supposed the SS men who put Jews and fairies and Gypsies into gas chambers said the same thing. How could they do anything else if they wanted to go home afterwards and kiss their wives and eat pig's knuckles and knock back a seidel or two of beer? If they really thought about what they were doing, wouldn't they go nuts?
It's not the same. He knew it wasn't, but had the uncomfortable feeling the difference was of degree, not of kind. He knew it wasn't, but had the uncomfortable feeling the difference was of degree, not of kind.
A silence had fallen in the chamber, as if n.o.body knew what to say next. Finally, Ka.s.squit made a pointed return to a new take on an earlier subject: ”Do you not think the present aggressive policy of the Deutsche makes it more likely that they were the Big Uglies who attacked the s.h.i.+ps of the colonization fleet?”
”A good question,” Sam said. Jonathan nodded, but then remembered to make the proper hand gesture, too. Sam went on, ”I am not sure the one has anything to do with the other. It might, but I have no proof.”
He would have been happy to incite the Race against the n.a.z.is had he had proof. He didn't think that would make his superiors happy, though, and he more or less understood why: however thoroughgoing a lot of b.a.s.t.a.r.ds the Germans were, they were also part of the balance of power. He sighed. Life never turned out to be as simple as you thought it would when you were Jonathan's age, or Ka.s.squit's.
Ka.s.squit said, ”I can understand why you would not admit any such thing about your own not-empire, but are the Deutsche not your foes as well as the Race's?”
That was also balance-of-power politics. Speaking carefully, Sam answered, ”It is a truth that the United States and the Reich Reich were fighting a war when the Race came. But each decided the Race was a bigger danger than the other.” were fighting a war when the Race came. But each decided the Race was a bigger danger than the other.”
”I do not understand this,” Ka.s.squit said. ”In the Empire, all Tosevites would be at peace. You would not fight the Race, and you would not fight among yourselves, either. Is this not good?”
”One of the parts of the United States-'provinces' is as close as I can come in your language, but that is not quite right-has a slogan,” Sam said. ”That slogan is, 'Live free or die.' Many, many Big Uglies feel that way.”
”I do not understand,” Ka.s.squit repeated. ”How are the Tosevites in the USA or the SSSR or the Reich Reich freer than those the Empire rules?” freer than those the Empire rules?”
Sam wished she hadn't phrased the question like that. Millions of Frenchmen and Danes and Lithuanians and Ukrainians weren't free, or anything close to it. Neither were millions of Germans or Russians, for that matter. ”Not all Tosevite not-empires are the same,” he said at last.