Part 10 (1/2)

Jael gazed after him, holding back her tears, as he dwindled toward his own world.Friend of Highwing!

she cried, and her voice reverberated down the sunbeams, and perhaps she was only imagining, but she thought she heard his laugh echoing in the distance below. And then she set her sights ahead and knew that the tears would flow again for a while, but eventually they would dry; and she looked in the s.h.i.+fting sky for the currents that would carry her to her destination star system, Lexis, to the end of this voyage, to normal-s.p.a.ce. And she began to plan how she would tell Mogurn that she was leaving him and his pallisp, and she laughed and cried and turned her thoughts back to the sky.

Until I return, Highwing, she thought. Then she saw the streamer she wanted and caught it in her webbed hand, and with her the s.h.i.+p rose high and fast into the current.

Part Two

Rigger Friend

Twelve.

Confrontation.

The mountains were well behind her when she at last set the stabilizers and prepared to leave the net. She didn't leave right away, though; in fact, she almost released the stabilizers again and returned to activeflying, so reluctant was she to depart. In the end, she knew that she had no choice; she could not stay here forever, and Mogurn had already interrupted her twice, demanding to know the s.h.i.+p's condition.

But she couldn't help gazing wistfully astern, where the realm of dragons had long since pa.s.sed out of sight. Drawing a deep breath, she turned her attention forward, to the clear golden atmospheres ahead and the tiny flecks of distant star systems. At last she withdrew from the net.

Mogurn was in his cabin, smoking. He barely stirred when she entered; his gaze was directed to the wall-holo near the door. Jael was almost afraid to turn her head to see what was on the holo, but when he didn't move, she steeled herself and looked. It was an empty image, a featureless grey-green s.p.a.ce like a window into an infinitely deep ocean. She s.h.i.+vered a little and wondered what was making him so still, what he was seeing in that blank holo. Failure? Death? Perhaps she didn't really want to know.

Pressing her lips together, she turned to face her captain.

Mogurn gave no sign of noticing her. He puffed, and smoke curled up around his head.

”The s.h.i.+p is clear of danger,” Jael said quietly. ”We're out of the mountains. We should be entering the final current to the Lexis system in a couple of days, I'd guess. Ahead of schedule.”

Still there was no response from Mogurn. Was this the man who had so urgently needed to know what was happening?

”If you have no questions, I request sleep time now.” She might as well have been speaking to the wall.

With a shrug, she turned to leave.

She was halfway out the door when she heard Mogurn's voice behind her, strained and oddly thin.

”There will be no pallisp for you today.”

Turning, she gazed at him in cold wonderment. ”I do not want the pallisp,” she said softly. ”Tonight or - ” she hesitated ” - ever again.” If he heard her words, it did not show. Puffs of smoke streamed up past his reddened, unseeing eyes. ”Good night,” she said, and did not breathe again until his door was opaque and the length of the hallway stood between her and Mogurn's cabin.

Mogurn did not come out again for the better part of a s.h.i.+pday. During that time, Jael flew the s.h.i.+p well along toward Lexis. And she struggled not to think about the pallisp.

The latter was more easily intended than done. Her friends.h.i.+p with Highwing may have rendered the pallisp unnecessary while she was in the net, but Highwing was no longer here. The memory of the dragon was strong in her mind - but so too was the memory of the pallisp. More than once in the net she found herself caught between the two memories, longing for both, knowing she could not have the one and dared not have the other. She caught herself gazing backward, behind the s.h.i.+p, unconsciously trying to conjure the image of Highwing. With painful determination, she pulled herself back from that impulse, which was not only futile but dangerous; she had to accept the fact that she was alone. To remember Highwing and his deeds was a very good thing, but to wish for something that was impossible would only draw her back into another form of dependence. And along that road lay the pallisp.

She had made a vow to herself - and to Mogurn - that she would have no more of that instrument.

She had broken one vow already, just in coming aboard this s.h.i.+p. She was determined not to break another.

Nevertheless, she found it difficult to concentrate in the net. The second time she caught herself drifting off course, she cut short her flying time. She left the bridge with a great emptiness in her heart - an emptiness that she dared not fill in Mogurn's cabin.She went to the galley instead. Two sweet m.u.f.fins and three cups of clove tea later, she felt stuffed, but no less empty.Highwing, why couldn't you have stayed with me just a little longer? she thought uselessly, picking at the crumbs on her plate, as though she didn't know the answer.

You will find others,she seemed to hear him say.

It wasn't much consolation.

Cry, ”Friend of Highwing!” - and I will hear you, though all the mountains lie between us....

Tears ran silently down her cheeks. Even as she wept, she knew that if she could just keep that one thought clear in her mind, that image of Highwing waiting for her, then perhaps she could resist and defeat the pallisp. She had no choice, really. It was a battle she had to win.

Mogurn glared at her across the table. His eyes were wide, bloodshot, and angry, and his hair was uncombed. He looked as though he had slept in his robe, and probably had. What he had been doing in his cabin, she could not imagine, but it had not calmed his temper. He had emerged for the evening-watch meal, and she had just informed him that she was planning to leave the s.h.i.+p at Lexis starport.

He rose half out of his seat. His voice sounded like an old pipe gurgling. ”We have a contract, Jael LeBrae! You are bound to this s.h.i.+p, and tome, until that contract is fulfilled! Until you have returned me to Gascon's Landing!”

Jael stared at him, and could not help thinking of the old sea-travel stories of cruel and piratical s.h.i.+p's masters. Mogurn so clearly fit the image now; she didn't know how she could have missed it, when they first met. He was just the sort of captain that her father, her accursed father, might have hired. Ruthless, uncompromising. She was afraid to answer him, but more afraid not to. She struggled to make her voice steady, as the words came out in a rush. ”That contract is a fraud. It did not allow you to use an illegal and addicting device on me. You have endangered the safety of your s.h.i.+p and crew - as I expect you probably endangered your last crew!” And when she was finished, she knew she had just indicted him in the worst way possible.

Mogurn's fist slammed down onto the table. Jael jumped involuntarily. ”That is a lie, rigger! It isyou who have endangered this vessel! And now you refuse the one thing that can redeem you, that can make you a rigger worthy of the name!” He waved a finger across the table, his face contorted by rage. ”But you cannot refuse it!”

Sit steady, Jael thought grimly. Do not move or let him gain an upper hand. You need not give in to him.

And she sat and stared back at him - though for a long dreadful moment, her fear was almost greater than her determination. Finally she took a breath and said, with anger in her voice, ”Whatdid happen to your last rigger, Captain Mogurn?”

Mogurn's eyes bulged, and his gaze broke. He lurched away, while she caught her breath, trembling. For an instant, she thought perhaps she had won. Then Mogurn wheeled back toward her, fire in his eyes.

But this time he did not meet her gaze, or even seem to see her. He stalked past her, out of the commons.

Jael peered after him, through the empty doorway. Would he leave her alone now? She hardly dared to hope. Something in his expression had filled her with dread. But perhaps he was going to take refuge in his synaptic augmentor; perhaps he would simply lose himself there, leave her in peace, leave her to finish the flight. She looked down at her dinner. Her stomach was in knots. But perhaps, she thought, the worst was over.She heard the footsteps in time to turn her head - but too late to dodge the hand that clamped onto her shoulder. Involuntarily, she let out a cry of pain. She shrank from Mogurn's glaring eyes. In his left hand he held the pallisp. ”What are you doing?” she gasped, as he tightened his grip on her shoulder.

”I have brought you what youneed, Jael!” he crowed, in a voice that quavered between madness and triumph.

”Are you crazy?” She tried to rise, to wrench free of his grip. ”Let me go!”

He gazed at her with a queer smile, then released her shoulder. She stumbled out of her seat and backed away, but not fast enough. He struck her in the face with the back of his hand.

The blow sent her reeling across the room. She staggered into the wall and fell to the deck. Stunned, she raised her head as Mogurn strode over to tower above her. ”No!” she whispered.

”You'll take your pallisp,” he growled. ”Whether you want to or not. You will take it.”

Jael closed her eyes to slits. For a moment, she felt a cool, calm certainty that Mogurn held no power over her. Not unless she allowed him to.

”Well, Jael?” He bent toward her.

She resisted an urge to spit in his face. ”I'll take nothing from you,” she murmured. She saw his knuckles whitening around the handle of the pallisp. She tried to scramble away on the deck. But his hands were quicker, and he grabbed her wrist with one hand, while with the other he hooked the pallisp behind her head and jammed it up against the base of her neck.

”I am not threatening you, Jael,” he said in a frighteningly controlled voice. ”But I have made you a promise. And I always keep my promises.” He did something with the pallisp.

Jael shuddered as a wave of stimulation rippled up her spine. ”d.a.m.n you,” she breathed, and then her voice was taken away by a rush of warmth that flooded her body, her mind. The pallisp was reaching deep into her brain, where it could bring comfort or deep shuddering pleasure.