Part 5 (1/2)

[Ill.u.s.tration: AN INFELICITOUS SPEECH

”Why, you're looking better already, Sir Ronald!”

”Yes, thanks to your delightful hospitality, I've had everything my doctor ordered me: 'Fresh air, good food, agreeable society, and cheerful conversation that involves no strain on the intellect!'”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: DISAPPOINTMENTS OF LION-HUNTING

GUARDSMAN (_gazing at the motley throng_).--”Any great literary or scientific celebrities here to-night, Lady Circe?”

LADY CIRCE (_who has taken to hunting Lions_).--”No, Sir Charles. The worst of celebrities in these democratic days is that they won't come unless you ask their wives and families, too! So I ask the wives and families, and the wives and families come in their thousands, if you please, and the celebrities stay at home and go to bed.”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: TWO ON A TOWER

JONES (_a rising young British architect_).--”Yes; it's a charming old castle you've bought, Mrs. Prynne, and I heartily congratulate you on being its possessor!”

FAIR CALIFORNIA WIDOW (_just settled in the old country_).--”Thanks. And now you must find me a _legend_ for it, Mr. Jones!”

JONES.--”I'm afraid I can't manage _that_; but I could add a _story_, if that will do as well!”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: AT THE ZOO

TOMMY.--”Why don't they have little shut-up houses? Why do they have open bars?”

DOROTHY (_who knows everything_).--”Oh! that's for them to see the people, of course!”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: NATURE _VERSUS_ ART

Just as Stodge is about to explain the recondite subtleties of his picture to a select circle of deeply interested and delightfully sympathetic women, his wife comes in with the _baby_, confound it!]

[Ill.u.s.tration: A NEW READING OF A FAMOUS PICTURE

”Oh, look, grandpapa! Poor things ... they're burying the baby!”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ANTE-POSTHUMOUS JEALOUSY

”_Isn't_ Emily Firkinson a darling, Reginald?”

”A--ahem--no doubt. I can't say much for her _singing_, you know!”