Part 31 (2/2)

”Was that a joke?”

”Nope.”

An hour later we found ourselves at a Barnes and n.o.ble, standing a few feet apart, quietly sifting through books.

”This is a hot date,” I said.

”I know you think so. The only thing missing are your s.e.xy pink rubber gloves.”

”Maybe we should go buy some, I mean if that's what rocks your boat.”

”Only if you promise to wear the gloves and nothing else.”

I snickered. ”Yeah, because my body is so rockin' after having a baby.”

”I think your body is even more rockin' than before you had a baby.”

I threw a sideways glance at him. ”I haven't lost any weight since the day Lucas was born.”

”You're hot, I'm telling you,” he tried to rea.s.sure me.

”You think so now. You haven't seen the stretch marks on my belly.”

”I don't care about your stretch marks,” he said, putting his book back on the shelf.

I felt the conversation was going in a direction I wasn't ready to go in, so I changed the topic.

”Are you flying to Jersey with me and Lucas for Labor Day?”

Donya's baby was a couple of weeks old and I was anxious to see her in person. She named her Rosa, after her husband's deceased mother.

”Do you want me to?” He looked at me.

”Yeah. Sure.”

”Don't be so excited about it,” he frowned. I think I actually hurt his feelings.

”I don't get excited about anything these days. Don't take it personally.”

He looked at me doubtfully.

”I would love for you to come,” I said with as much excitement as I could muster.

”Right here in the book store?” He feigned shock. ”I knew my bad a.s.s girl was in there somewhere. I haven't done it in a public place since that one time in the bathroom at the diner.”

”Walking away now,” I said and left him in the aisle with the two older women who had just witnessed our whole conversation.

We went to dinner after the book store. The first thing Luke did was order us some hardcore drinks. I eyeballed my drink with apprehension. I haven't had a hard drink since before I found out I was pregnant with Lucas.

”Drink up,” Luke insisted after devouring his.

”This is going to hit me like a pile of rocks.”

”It will loosen you up a little.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. ”Are you calling me uptight?”

He pressed his lips together and we had a staring contest, but I quickly lost, because he was right. Every day I felt tightly wound, knotted even. Sometimes it was hard to breathe, because everything inside of me felt squeezed tight as h.e.l.l, as if there was a boa constrictor slithering around inside of me, squeezing and squeezing, suffocating me.

”Hey, are you okay?” Luke reached across the table and took my hand. And the snake squeezed a little tighter.

Why does Luke make my condition worse? So stupid.

I picked up the drink and took a deep breath. I wasn't going to sip it like a little b.i.t.c.h. I was a master at drinking in my past life. I was going to make this tall, hard a.s.s drink my b.i.t.c.h. I downed it faster than Luke had downed his.

He looked at me with a crooked smile while I made a face. Well, I couldn't allow that drink to make me make a face. I called the waitress over.

”Two more please, and some shots of Hennessey.”

By the time our main course was served, I was lit. The snake was still there, but he had loosened up a little, or I was just numb and would feel it again during sobriety. I didn't have even half the drinks I would have had in the past, but all of those months without liquor made me feel like a drinking virgin.

Luke drank some, but he wasn't feeling it like me. He had a perpetual grin on his face watching me and listening to me ramble on about nonsense. When we got up to leave, I forgot that I had on strappy sandals that Carrie Bradshaw would die for and almost fell on my face, but Luke caught me and kept a steady arm around my waist. I wrapped both arms around him.

”You're sooooo good to me,” I cooed as we waited on the sidewalk for a cab.

He kissed the top of my forehead in response and waved down a cab. He helped me inside, leaned forward to tell the driver where to go and then settled back with his arm around me.

”What's with all of the f.u.c.king little kisses lately?” I asked. ”I don't know if you're kissing me like I'm a pet or like a friend or like a lover. They're really conflicting kisses!”

He laughed and looked at me with something like adoration and said ”I'm sorry. Let me clear that up for you.” He put his hand under my chin and gently tilted my head and kissed me.

Fireworks went off in my head. Heat exploded from my mouth where his tongue caressed mine. Electric currents sizzled from where his hand was under my chin and spread throughout my body, right down to the tips of my toes. Oblivious to the cab driver up front, I locked my hands around his neck and without taking my lips from his, slithered on to him and straddled him. I could feel him hard against me and I wanted it super bad. I didn't realize I was grinding against him until I felt his hands on my hips.

”Hey,” the cabbie called from the front, breaking our kiss and grinding session. ”Why don't you pay me and take your s.e.xcapades to your bedroom?”

I opened the door, grabbed my pocketbook and stumbled off of Luke and onto the sidewalk outside our apartment building. I didn't wait for him, and rushed inside, not acknowledging the doorman or the guy that does security at night. As I rode the elevator to the sixth floor, I felt my boa constrictor again, squeezing me. Like a taught rubber band, things were snapping back into place. I was still fairly drunk though, but not enough to soothe the alarm that was beginning inside.

I let myself into the apartment, forced a smile at Diane who was sitting on the couch with a Vogue magazine.

”How was your night out?”

”Great,” I forced a smile.

”Wow, you're drunk as h.e.l.l,” she giggled. She got up, picked up her backpack. ”Where's Lukester?”

”On his way up. How was Lucas?”

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