Part 5 (2/2)

I replayed our hug on the front step in my mind, and involuntarily smiled to myself. I had literally wanted to crawl into his skin and stay there forever.

I was a complicated girl, with more baggage than Heathrow airport. I was hypersensitive, full of self-loathing, traumatised, insecure and paranoid, damaged by my years with Andrew, the man who was still my husband, but had no idea where I was now at least, I hoped he would never find me. The thought that he ever would made my blood run cold. He would literally kill me for having the gall to walk away from him.

But in Micah's arms I had discovered, I felt none of that. I just...felt...peaceful. Calm. Serene, even. I wanted to feel that again.

My thoughts wandered to that mouth of his. Thick, pouty lips surrounded by that bristly, dark stubble. His eyes, deep brown and framed with impossibly thick black eyelashes. His hair, which although always perfectly slicked to the side, had a hint of a natural curliness about it.

I replayed in my mind that moment he had walked around the corner to me, s.h.i.+rtless and soaking wet. Beads of water dripping down his chest, dark curly hairs smattered over his pecs and then down in a line to his navel and beyond, thickening just above the waistband of his shorts. That anchor tattoo on his hip. I couldn't think of a single flaw he possessed, he was quite literally perfect, and I finally admitted to myself, in the privacy of my bedroom that I had feelings for him. Strong feelings beyond a crush.

I felt totally and utterly f.u.c.ked, and not in the way of the heroines in those books on my Kindle. No, in the my life is about to get turned upside down and my heart ripped from my chest and trampled on kind of way.

d.a.m.n it, why was this happening to me?

Micah I knew I wouldn't sleep, so when I got home I made myself a cup of tea and flopped down on the sofa, letting out a deep sigh.

Talk about spectacularly s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up. Thank G.o.d Jewls had accepted my apology, because I didn't think I could stand it if she fell out with me, or if I had hurt her. I had seen a whole other side of her that day, and I had to admit to myself, it made me like her all the more. She was incredibly forgiving luckily for me. Another, lesser girl might have told me to go jump off the pier, but she had accepted my apology without hesitation and I was all too aware of how lucky I was. It meant I still had a chance, if I played a slow game and trod carefully.

That wasn't what had me smiling though. The reason I was smiling was because I had also discovered she had a feisty side. There had been surprising force behind that slap, and I could see the fire behind her eyes that she probably didn't even realise she had inside her. I thought that actually she was probably a lot stronger than she realised she was, and it almost made me want to provoke her so I could see that side of her again. I wanted her to challenge me, and I wanted to challenge her. I needed it, and I felt she did too. I would just have to tread carefully to avoid hurting her, because Laura had touched on something that had crossed my mind too Jewls didn't seem to have anyone in her life anyone at all, and she really was very sensitive. I reached the conclusion that someone must have hurt her, and if it was a man...I wanted to hunt him down and hurt him for doing it. Physically destroy him for not knowing what a precious girl he'd had.

I had intended to give her a quick hug before sending her into her flat, but once I had her in my arms, I hadn't wanted to let go, so I just held on, for as long as I could without looking like a complete weirdo. She felt so good in my arms.

I had turned my face to the side, to bring her closer to my body and her soft red hair fell against my cheek. Before I could stop myself, I inhaled deeply. Her hair smelled faintly of candy floss from the fair and something like coconut. I wanted her on top of me, with those luscious locks falling over my chest as she moved up and down on me, riding me.

I s.h.i.+fted on the sofa, adjusting my crotch with my free hand, unsurprised to be sporting a raging hard on once again.

I had let out an mmm of satisfaction before I could stop the sound from escaping and then in a show of extraordinary personal strength, I think, I forced myself to let her go, wish her goodnight and walk away before she noticed the tent pole threatening to burst through my cotton shorts. That's a.s.suming she hadn't already felt it pressed against her belly, the height difference between us placed my c.o.c.k somewhere just above her belly b.u.t.ton. She already thought I was a complete prat, that would have been the icing on the cake.

I think I dozed for a while, because the next time I opened my eyes it was to the sight of my brother Nic looking down on me, smiling.

”Evening, Micah.”

I groaned and stretched. ”Evening. What time is it?”

”Just gone one.” He flopped on the chair beside me, tugging at his bow tie, pulling it off and tossing it aside and then undoing the laces on his shoes.

”Busy night?” I asked, trying to sound genuinely interested.

He raised an eyebrow. ”Aren't they always?”

I smiled in response. The restaurant being so busy, so popular, was both a blessing and a curse. We were, as a family, financially more secure but we all had to work our a.r.s.es off to maintain it.

”What's up with you, anyway?” he asked, frowning.

”Nothing...” I mumbled, totally unconvincingly.

”Micah...what have I always told you about lying?” he smiled brightly. ”Share with your big brother. Come on...start with her name.”

”Whose name?”

He rolled his eyes. ”The girl who's got your boxers in a bunch.”

I considered protesting, but quickly realised there was absolutely no point. He could read me like a book.

”Her name is Jewls.”

He nodded knowingly. ”Okay...and where did you meet her?”

”She works with me, she's new.”

”You like her, huh?”

”Yeah I do...” I admitted. ”And not like I normally do with girls. This is...different. She's different.”

”Different how?”

I thought about that and shrugged. ”I don't know. It just...feels different. She's really special but she's also quite vulnerable. I asked her out.”

”And...?”

I felt myself blush and really didn't want to answer, even knowing that of all my siblings, Nic was the least likely to poke fun. ”She turned me down.”

As I had thought, he didn't react to that, simply nodded. ”Did she say why?”

”She doesn't believe me. She doesn't believe that someone like me wants someone like her.”

He frowned again. ”Why would she think like that?”

I shrugged again. ”I think...she's had a knock. Someone has hurt her, put her down. I think she has no idea whatsoever just how beautiful she is.”

He nodded and ran his hands through his hair. He looked tired, and small wonder. Of all of us, he worked the hardest and nothing any of us said or did could persuade him to just take a break.

”You want my advice, Micah?”

I nodded, I did. ”Please.”

”Tell her, show her. Leave her in absolutely no doubt about how you see her, and how attracted to her you are. She didn't say she's not attracted to you, so it sounds like a confidence issue. She wouldn't be the first girl to have issues about herself. Make her feel special, let her know she's special to you. Be consistent, persistent but don't hara.s.s her. Just...let her see that your intentions to her are honourable.” He narrowed his eyes. ”Your intentions are honourable, right? This isn't about some quick f.u.c.k?”

I laughed a little and he smiled, but I could tell he was being serious too. ”Nic...my intentions are honourable. Not to say I don't wanna...I do, but...I want more with her.”

He looked stunned at that, and did a c.r.a.p job at hiding it. ”Well s.h.i.+t, I never thought I'd see the day, but it sounds to me like you're smitten, brother.”

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