Part 23 (1/2)

Archbishop Leighton never was married. While he held the See of Dumblane, he was of course a subject of considerable interest to the celibate ladies in the neighborhood. One day he received a visit from one of them who had reached the age of desperation. Her manner was solemn though somewhat embarra.s.sed; it was evident from the first that there was something very particular on her mind. The good bishop spoke with his usual kindness, encouraged her to be communicative, and by and by drew from her that she had had a very strange dream, or rather, as she thought, a revelation from heaven. On further questioning, she confessed that it had been intimated to her that she was to be united in marriage to the bishop. One may imagine what a start this gave to the quiet scholar, who had long ago married his books, and never thought of any other bride. He recovered, however, and very gently addressing her, said that ”Doubtless these intimations were not to be despised. As yet, however, the designs of heaven were but imperfectly explained, as they had been revealed to only one of the parties. He would wait to see if any similar communication should be made to himself, and whenever it happened he would be sure to let her know.” Nothing could be more admirable than this humor, except perhaps the benevolence shown in so bringing an estimable woman off from a false position. [9]

=Not Up to Sample=

”How did it happen,” asked a lady of a very silly Scotch n.o.bleman, ”that the Scots who came out of their own country were, generally speaking, men of more ability than those who remained at home?”

”Oh, madam,” said he, ”the reason is obvious. At every outlet there are persons stationed to examine all who pa.s.s, that for the honor of the country, no one be permitted to leave it who is not a man of understanding.”

”Then,” said she, ”I suppose your lords.h.i.+p was smuggled.”

=The Queen's Daughters--or ”Appearances Were Against Them”=

A good many years ago, when her majesty was spending a short time in the neighborhood of the Trossachs, the Princesses Louise and Beatrice paid an unexpected visit to an old female cottager on the slopes of Glenfinlas, who, knowing that they had some connection with the royal household, bluntly e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed: ”Ye'll be the Queen's servants, I'm thinkin'?”

”No,” they quietly rejoined; ”we are the Queen's daughters.”

”Ye dinna look like it,” was the immediate reply of the unusually outspoken Celt, ”as ye hae neither a ring on your fingers, nor a bit gowd i' your lugs!”

=”Oo”--with Variations=

The following is a dialogue between a Scotch shopman and a customer, relating to a plaid hanging at the shop door:

_Customer (inquiring the material)_: ”Oo” (Wool)?

_Shopman_: ”Ay, oo” (Yes, wool).

_Customer_: ”A' oo” (All wool)?

_Shopman_: ”Ay, a' oo” (Yes, all wool).

_Customer_: ”A' ae oo” (All same wool)?

_Shopman_: ”Ay, a' _ae_ oo” (Yes, all the same wool). [7]

=A Widow's Promise=

The clerk of a large parish, not five miles from Bridgenorth, Scotland, perceiving a female crossing a churchyard in a widow's garb with a watering can and bundle, had the curiosity to follow her, and he discovered her to be Mrs. Smith, whose husband had not long been interred.

The following conversation took place:

”Ah, Mrs. Smith, what are you doing with your watering can?”

”Why, Mr. Prince, I have begged a few hay-seeds, which I have in a bundle, and am going to sow them upon my husband's grave, and have brought a little water with me to make 'em spring.”

”You have no occasion to do that, as the gra.s.s will soon grow upon it,”

replied the clerk.