Part 14 (2/2)

again in a hurry.”

=Prince Albert and the s.h.i.+p's Cook=

During the earlier visits of the royal family to Balmoral, Prince Albert, dressed in a very simple manner, was crossing one of the Scotch lakes in a steamer, and was curious to note everything relating to the management of the vessel, and among other things, the cooking.

Approaching the galley, where a brawny Highlander was attending the culinary matters, he was attracted by the savory odors of a compound known by Scotchmen as ”hodge-podge,” which the Highlander was preparing.

”What is that?” asked the prince, who was not known to the cook.

”Hodge-podge, sir,” was the reply.

”How is it made?” was the next question.

”Why, there's mutton intil't, and turnips intil't, and carrots intil't and----

”Yes, yes,” said the prince, who had not learned that ”intil't” meant ”into it;” ”but what is intil't?”

”Why, there's mutton intil't, and turnips intil't, and carrots intil't and----”

”Yes, I see, but what is intil't?”

The man looked at him, and seeing the prince was serious, he replied: ”There's mutton intil't, and turnips intil't and----”

”Yes, certainly, I know,” urged the inquirer; ”but what is intil't--intil't?”

”Ye daft gowk,” yelled the Highlander, brandis.h.i.+ng a large spoon, ”am I no' telling ye what's intil't! There's mutton intil't and----”

Here the interview was brought to a close by one of the prince's suite, who was fortunately pa.s.sing, and stepped in to save his royal highness from being rapped over the head with the big spoon while in search of information from the cook.

=”To Memory 'Dear'”=

”Jeems,” said the laird one day to his gardener, ”there was something I was going to ask you, but man, for the life o' me I canna mind what it was.” ”Mebbe,” said Jeems, who had received no pay for three weeks, ”mebbe,” said he, ”it was to spier at me fat wey I was keepin' body and soul thegither on the wages I wasna gettin'.”

=Good ”for Nothing”--not the Goodness Worth Having=

It was a wet day and Jamie Stoddart could not go out to play; Mrs.

Stoddart, who had just cleared away the breakfast things, and was about to commence a big heap of ironing, noticed sighs of incipient restlessness in the laddie, and said; ”Now, I hope you'll be a good boy the day, Jamie; I've an awfu' lot o' work to dae, an' I can't have you bothering me.” ”Wull ye gie me a penny if I'm awfu' guid a' day lang?”

asked her son. ”Mebbe I will,” was the reply; ”but would it no' be better to be a guid laddie just to please me?” ”I'm no' sae shuir o'

that,” answered the laddie, reflectively. ”Ma teacher at the schule says it aye better to be good even for a little, than to be guid for naething.” He got that penny.

=”The Weaker Vessel”=

The minister of a parish in Scotland was called in some time ago to effect a reconciliation between a fisherman of a certain village and his wife. After using all the arguments in his power to convince the offending husband that it was unmanly in him, to say the least of it, to strike Polly with his fist, the minister concluded: ”David, you know that the wife is the weaker vessel, and you should have pity on her.”

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