Part 42 (2/2)
But I forbear making farther mention of this spiritual Shaver and Trimmer, lest I should affect the Minds of my Readers as deeply as his Preaching has affected their Pockets.
The second Species of Shavers and Trimmers are those who, according to the _English_ Phrase, _make the best of a bad Market_: Such as cover (what is called by an eminent Preacher) _their poor Dust_ in tinsel Cloaths and gaudy Plumes of Feathers. A Star, and Garter, for Instance, adds Grace, Dignity and l.u.s.tre to a gross corpulent Body; and a competent Share of religious Horror thrown into the Countenance, with proper Distortions of the Face, and the Addition of a lank Head of Hair, or a long Wig and Band, commands a most profound Respect to Insolence and Ignorance. The Pageantry of the Church of _Rome_ is too well known for me to instance: It will not however be amiss to observe, that his Holiness the Pope, when he has a Mind to fleece his Flock of a good round Sum, sets off the Matter with Briefs, Pardons, Indulgencies, &c.
&c. &c.
The Third and last Kind of Shavers and Trimmers are those who (in Scripture Language) are carried away with every Wind of Doctrine. The Vicars of Bray, and those who exchange their Principles with the Times, may justly be referred to this Cla.s.s. But the most odious Shavers and Trimmers of this Kind, are a certain set of Females, called (by the polite World) JILTS. I cannot give my Readers a more perfect Idea of these than by quoting the following Lines of the Poet:
Fatally fair they are, and in their Smiles The Graces, little Loves, and young Desires inhabit: But they are false luxurious in their Appet.i.tes, And all the Heav'n they hope for, is Variety.
One Lover to another still succeeds, Another and another after that, And the last Fool is welcome as the former; 'Till having lov'd his Hour out, he gives his Place, And mingles with the Herd that went before him.
_Rowe's Fair Penitent._
Lastly, I cannot but congratulate my Neighbours on the little Favour which is shown to Shavers and Trimmers by the People of this Province.
The Business is at so low an Ebb, that the worthy Gentleman whose Advertis.e.m.e.nt I have chosen for the Motto of my Paper, acquaints us he will leave it off after the 22d of _August_ next. I am of Opinion that all possible Encouragement ought to be given to Examples of this Kind, since it is owing to this that so perfect an Understanding is cultivated among ourselves, and the Chain of Friends.h.i.+p is brightened and perpetuated with our good Allies, the _Indians_. The Antipathy which these sage Naturalists bear to Shaving and Tr.i.m.m.i.n.g, is well known.
_I am, Yours, &c._
TO THE PUBLICK
* * * Causis Philippus agendis Clarus, * * *
S. P. D.
[From the _Pennsylvania Gazette_, June 30, 1743.]
My Paper on Shavers and Trimmers, in the last _Gazette_, being generally condemn'd, I at first imputed it to the Want of Taste and Relish for Pieces of that Force and Beauty, which none but University-bred Gentlemen can _produce_: But upon Advice of Friends, whose Judgment I could depend on, I examined _myself_ and to my Shame must confess, that I found myself to be an uncirc.u.mcised Jew, whose Excrescencies of Hair, Nails, Flesh, &c. did burthen and disguise my Natural Endowments; but having my Hair and Nails since lopp'd off and shorn, and my fleshly Excrescencies circ.u.mcised, I now appear in my wonted l.u.s.tre, and expect a speedy Admission among the _Levites_, which I have already the Honour of among the Poets and Natural Philosophers. I have one Thing more to add, which is, That I had no real Animosity against the Person whose Advertis.e.m.e.nt I made the Motto of my Paper; but (as may appear to all who have been Big with Pieces of this Kind) what I had long on my Mind, I at last unburden'd myself of. O! these JILTS still run in my Mind.
N. B. The Publick perhaps may suppose this Confession forced upon me; but if they _repair_ to the P---- Pe in Second-street, they may see Me, or the Original hereof under my own Hand, and be convinced that this is genuine.
PREFACE TO LOGAN'S TRANSLATION OF ”CATO MAJOR”[30]
The Printer to the Reader
This Version of Cicero's Tract _de Senectute_, was made Ten Years since, by the Honourable and Learned Mr. Logan, of this City; undertaken partly for his own Amus.e.m.e.nt, (being then in his 60th Year, which is said to be nearly the Age of the Author when he wrote it) but princ.i.p.ally for the Entertainment of a Neighbour then in his grand Climacteric; and the Notes were drawn up solely on that Neighbour's Account, who was not so well acquainted as himself with the Roman History and Language: Some other Friends, however, (among whom I had the Honour to be ranked) obtained Copies of it in MS. And, as I believed it to be in itself equal at least, if not far preferable to any other Translation of the same Piece extant in our Language, besides the Advantage it has of so many valuable Notes, which at the same time they clear up the Text, are highly instructive and entertaining; I resolved to give it an Impression, being confident that the Publick would not unfavourably receive it.
A certain Freed-man of _Cicero's_ is reported to have said of a medicinal Well, discovered in his Time, wonderful for the Virtue of its Waters in restoring Sight to the Aged, That it was a Gift of the bountiful G.o.ds to Men, to the end that all might now have the Pleasure of reading his Master's Works. As that Well, if still in being, is at too great a Distance for our Use, I have, _Gentle Reader_, as thou seest, printed this Piece of _Cicero's_ in a large and fair Character, that those who begin to think on the Subject of Old Age, (which seldom happens till their Sight is somewhat impair'd by its Approaches) may not, in Reading, by the _Pain_ small Letters give the Eyes, feel the _Pleasure_ of the Mind in the least allayed.
I shall add to these few Lines my hearty Wish, that this first Translation of a _Cla.s.sic_ in this _Western World_, may be followed with many others, performed with equal Judgment and Success; and be a happy Omen, that _Philadelphia_ shall become the Seat of the _American_ Muses.
Philadelphia, Febr. 29. 1743/4.
TO JOHN FRANKLIN, AT BOSTON[31]
Philadelphia [March 10], 1745.
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