Part 10 (2/2)
The distribution was performed according to wisely appointed rules.
Of each batch of decorations G.H.Q. took one half for its own members, and pa.s.sed on the other half to the Army Staffs. The Army Staffs kept half of what they received, and pa.s.sed on the remainder to the Corps Staffs. The same method was applied right down to the Battalion Staffs, and it will readily be observed (with the help of an elementary arithmetical calculation) that the likelihood of the men in the line ever receiving a foreign decoration was practically nonexistent.
The Scottish Division received as its share on this occasion three crosses. Colonel Parker and the other demi-G.o.ds of the divisional Olympus being already provided for, these were allotted to dignitaries of minor importance. It was decided that one should be given to Dr. O'Grady, who had done great service to the French population (he had a.s.sisted a Belgian refugee in childbirth and she had survived his ministrations). The second was marked down for the D.A.D.O.S., and the third for the A.D.V.S., a genial fellow who was very popular in the mess.
The names of the three lucky men were handed by a Staff officer to an intelligent clerk with orders to draw up immediately a set of nominal rolls for the Corps.
Unfortunately the clerk happened to be the very same man to whom Colonel Parker had given the list of the three heretics of the 113th Battery the day before. But who can blame him for having confused two groups of three names? And who can blame the officer on duty for having signed two nominal rolls without reading them?
A month later, the Division was surprised to hear that Captain c.o.c.kell and Lieutenants Little and M'Cracken had been made Knights of the Legion of Honour. As they really deserved it, the choice caused considerable astonishment and general rejoicing; and the three warriors, happy to see three decorations reach them intact after having pa.s.sed through so many covetous hands, were loud in praise of their superior officers' discrimination.
CHAPTER XII
VARIATIONS
”I have no illusions left but the Archbishop of Canterbury.”--Sydney Smith.
”When I was attached to a field ambulance,” said the doctor, ”we had three padres with us in the mess.”
”That was rather a large order,” said the Rev. Mr. Jeffries.
”It _was_ a large order,” agreed the doctor, ”but one of them anyway was quite harmless. The R.C. padre spoke very little, ate an enormous amount, and listened with infinite contempt to the discussions of his colleagues.
”I don't want to hurt your feelings, padre, but Catholicism is _the_ only religion. A faith is only justified if it carries conviction.
What's the use of a creed or a dogma which is as transient as a philosophy? Being condemned by my profession to study beings whose moral balance is unstable, I am in a position to a.s.sert that the Roman Church has a complete understanding of human nature. As a psychologist and a doctor, I admire the uncompromising att.i.tude of the Councils. So much weakness and stupidity requires the firm support of an authority without the slightest tolerance. The curative value of a doctrine lies not in its logical truth, but in its permanency.”
”It is quite true,” said Colonel Parker, ”that nothing short of the rigid dictates of Catholicism could have prevented the Irish from going completely mad. But don't judge every one from your own case, O'Grady; the Saxons possess a solid, Protestant intelligence.”
”Well,” the doctor continued, ”our other two padres spent their evenings trying to swallow each other up. One of them was Church of England and the other Presbyterian; and they employed the most modern commercial methods in their compet.i.tion. Church of England found an old gipsy cart which he set up at d.i.c.kebusch and from which he sold chocolate to the Jocks; whereupon Church of Scotland installed a telescope at Kruystraete to show them the stars. If the one formed a cigar-trust, the other made a corner in cigarettes. If one of them introduced a magic lantern, the other chartered a cinema. But the permanent threat to the peace of the mess was undoubtedly the Baptist question.
”As we had no Baptist padre, the unfortunate soldiers of that persuasion (of whom there were seven in the Division) could attend no service. The astonis.h.i.+ng thing was that they never seemed to realize the extent of their misfortune.
”On one point at any rate our two padres agreed: men could not be left, in the dangerous zone in which we were then living, without the consolations of religion. But both Church of England and Church of Scotland each claimed the right to annex this tiny neutral congregation.
”'Excuse me,' said Church of Scotland; 'the Baptist, it is true, only performs the immersion ceremony when the adult's faith is confirmed, but on all other points he resembles the Presbyterian. His Church is a democratic one and is opposed to episcopacy, like ours.'
”'Pardon me,' said Church of England; 'the Baptist, in demanding a return to the primitive form of the Sacrament, proves himself to be the most conservative of all British Christians. Now every one--including yourself--admits that the Church of England is the most conservative of all the Reformed Churches. Besides----'
”For hours at a time they used to go on like this, and the futile discussion became even more annoying as I got to know the different arguments as well as either of them.
”One day I was sent up to the ambulance's advance post at Maple Copse--you know, that little wood in front of Ypres.”
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