Part 11 (1/2)
”Unhealthy spot that,” said the general.
”So unhealthy, sir, that while I was there a whizz-bang hit my dug-out and blew my sergeant into small pieces, which remained hanging on the branches of the trees. It was a pity, for he was the best forward in the brigade football team. I put all I could find of him into a cloth, announced the burial for the next day, and then, as it was my turn to be relieved, I went back to the ambulance headquarters.
”My return was distinctly lively. On leaving the splendid trench which is called Zillebeke Road, I was silly enough to cross the exposed ground near the railway embankment. A machine gun thought it rather amusing to have a pot at me from Hill 60----”
”All right, doctor,” said General Bramble, ”spare us the details.”
”Well, just as I left Ypres, I came across a Ford car which took me back to camp. In the mess I found Church of England and Church of Scotland arguing away as usual, while Roman Church was reading his breviary in a corner.
”'Satan, whence comest thou?' one of them asked me.
”'Well, gentlemen,' I replied, 'you ought to be glad to see me, because I really am back from h.e.l.l this time.'
”And I told them my adventures, putting in a lot of local colour about cannonades, explosions, whistling bullets and hailstorm barrages, in a style worthy of our best war correspondents.”
”You old humbug!” grunted the colonel.
”'By the way,' I concluded, 'I've got a job for one of you!
Freshwater, my sergeant, has been blown to bits, and what I could collect of him is to be buried to-morrow morning. I'll give you the route--Messines gate, Zillebeke----'
”I saw the two padres' faces fall swiftly.
”'What religion?' they both asked simultaneously.
”'Baptist,' I replied carelessly. 'Have a cigarette, padre?'
”The two enemies gazed attentively at the ceiling; Roman Church kept his nose in his breviary and his ears well p.r.i.c.ked up.
”'Well,' said Church of England at length, 'I wouldn't mind going up to Zillebeke. I've been in worse places to bury a man of my own Church. But for a Baptist it strikes me, O'Grady----'
”'Excuse me,' interrupted Church of Scotland. 'Baptism is the most conservative form of British Christianity, and the Anglican Church itself boasts----'
”'I dare say, I dare say,' said the other, 'but is not the Baptist Church a democratic one, like the Presbyterian?'
”They might have gone on in this strain till the poor beggar was in his grave, had not Roman Church suddenly interrupted in a mild voice, without taking his nose out of his little book:
”'I'll go, if you like.'
”Hatred of Popery is the beginning of union, and they both went up the line together.”
CHAPTER XIII
THE CURE
”Le _Schein_ et le _Wesen_ sont, pour l'esprit allemand, une seule et meme chose.”--Jacques Riviere.
”The only decent whisky,” said the doctor, ”is Irish whisky.”
Whereupon he helped himself to a generous allowance of Scotch whisky, and as they had just been talking about Ludendorff's coming offensive, he began to discourse upon the Germans.