23 Chapter 20 - Sinubo Kahit Bawal (1/2)
Umuwi akong in-love.
Just early this morning, I sucked Teacher Kim and swallowed his cum, twice, at the library. At lunch, he fucked me in his Pleasure Dungeon. Just before my last class for the day, he fingered me in a very public place. Then, the drama started.
Just when I thought everything could be over, it ended with him earnestly saying he has fallen in love with me. Then we did the most passionate sex we've ever had.
No, we made love. We kissed, like time didn't exist. We cuddled after, like we just couldn't get enough of each other. He drove me home like a responsible boyfriend. I kissed him goodbye like a hopeless romantic girlfriend. And now, I lie in my bed, unequivocally, inescapably, inlove with my Teacher Kim. I surrendered.
Dama ko pa ang tamis ng kaniyang mga halik, ang diin at lalim ng kaniyang pangangailangan sa'kin, ang pagibig mula sa naluluha niyang mga tingin, at ang init na bumalot sa'kin whenever he cums and whispers 'I love you, Cece'. He did it for four rounds.
Hindi ko pa nararanasan ang ganitong pakiramdam. Para akong natutunaw na ice cream, lumulutang sa ulap at napapalibutan ng napakaraming paro-paro. Parang mas matingkad ang lahat ng kulay sa paligid ko. Excited ako, kinikilig, naiihi, hindi mapakali at walang tigil sa ngiti.
”Hala, hala, hala, hala siya.” Nahuli ako ni kuya Jared sa kwarto na nakasubsub ang ulo sa naglalakihang stuff toys sa kama ko. Bigla akong napabangon at umarteng parang wala siyang nakita. ”Anyare sayo?” aniya.
”Wala.”
”Anong wala, e, para kang kiti-kiti dyan.”
”Fini-feel ko lang 'tong bagong teddy bear na bigay ni dad.” Inakap ko ang teddy bear.
Tumalon-upo naman si kuya sa kama, it made the bed bounce a little. ”Hindi talaga marunong magmove-on si dad no. Ang tanda-tanda mo na, binibilhan ka pa rin ng stuff toys.”
”Inggit ka lang,” pagtataray ko kaya't iningudngud niya sa mukha ko ang ulo ng teddy bear.
He sniggered. ”Bakit ako maiinggit, e, he promised he'll buy me a car. And you know dad never breaks a promise... Well, except sa promise of forever niya kay mama. But then again, wala namang forever,” he ended in a comical cookie monster voice.
But he got me at 'he'll buy me a car', I went a little hysterical. ”He'll buy you a car!?! He bought me stuff toy, tapos he promised to buy you a car? I hate dad.”
Sumimangot ako pero napaisip din ako. ”No! hindi pala ako naniniwala. Hindi naman niya binilhan yung tatlo ng kotse no. You're lying. Why would he buy you car, you're his worst son.”
”Precisely the point. Worst son, so he thought I needed a motivation. At saka, he pitched-in sa pagbili ng mga kotse nila kaya sila nagbalik-loob no. Even Japo's first car, dad pitched in,” he said proudly.
Hindi pa rin ako naniniwala. ”He'll buy you a car? All him? Sure ka?”
”Yup. Basta daw grumaduate ako na walang tres, and I land my first job, he'll buy me a car, at yung kotse na gusto ko,” pagyayabang pa niya.
I sniggered. ”Nya-Ha!! I bet dad knew he'll make the biggest savings in that promise. True, never nga siya nagbreak ng promise, pero ikaaw!? Ha! Nakakatawa. Eh tres nga lang ata ang alam isulat ng mga professors mo sa report card mo eh. Ha! Ha-ha!”
Dumagan siya sa akin at mahina akong kinurot-kurot. ”Ikaw, wala ka talagang kasupo-suporta! Wala kang pagmamahal sa sarili mong kuya. Ha, natuto ka nang magmaldita ngayon ha. Ano! Hindi ka uubra sa'ken.”
”Aray! Kuya! Anovey! Stop it! Ay! Sige, sige!”
”Huy!” Bigla kaming napatigil sa kulitan ng pumasok si kuya Jael sa kwarto.
”Dad will buy daw his bumblebee car basta wala siyang tres pagkagraduate,” patawa kong sambit nang makawala ako sa pagkakadagan ni kuya Jared, ”ehh, hindi nga siya makakagraduate!” humagalpak ako sa tawa.
Tinakpan ni kuya Jared ang buo kong mukha gamit ang dalawa niyang malalapad na kamay. Lumusot ang isa niyang daliri sa bibig ko sa nakakatawa ko, kaya't nakagat ko ito. Umaray siya at tumayo, sumungit ang mukha at bumusangot; natawa lang ako lalo at saglit na segundong napaisip na kamukha ko pala siya kapag bumubusangot.
”Magkakapikunan na naman kayo mamaya. Baba na, dinner's ready,” kalmadong sambit ni kuya Jael.
Kuya Jared widened his eyes at me. ”Watch and learn, you little monkey. I know how to win. Makikita mo, hindi kita pasasakayin sa bumblebee ko,” pagbabanta niya.
Dinilaan ko lang siya at binigyan ng mapangasar na mukha. Bago pa siya makareact ulit, ni-leeg siya ni kuya Jael at pinilit na lumabas na ng kwarto. Pusta ko, silang dalawa naman ang magaasaran.
Naabutan ko ngang nagaasaran na ang apat kong kuya sa dining area. Umupo ako sa spot ko sa dining table at nakitawa sa mga asaran nila sa isa't-isa. Bigla kong naisip si Teacher Kim at napatanong sa sarili ko - how in the world am I gonna tell them about my first boyfriend?
Him, being my teacher, was a problem enough, but he was also twice my age. The only secret I've kept from this four was my porn addiction, I worried that I won't be able to keep Teacher Kim a secret for long.
”Asan pala si Mama?” tanong ko habang kumakain.
”Kasama si Teacher Kim,” kaswal na tugon ni kuya Jael. Halos mabilaukan ako sa narinig ko.
”Bakit naman sila magkasama?” natatawa kong sambit, I thought it was a joke.
”Pati pala si mama, nabighani na rin sa angking kagwapuhan ng put -- bwisit na teacher na yun!” sabat naman ni kuya Jared na agad binatukan ni kuya Jako.
”They are having dinner, with dad, and -- ” sagot ni kuya Japo na pinutol naman ni kuya Jared, ”hinatid ka ng teacher mo dito sa bahay, tapos hindi niya sinabi sayo na kadate niya ang parents natin?”
Nagsimula nang kumabog ang dibdib ko, binalot na ng tanong ang isipan ko pero hindi pa rin ako nagpahalata sa mga kuya ko. ”Totoo ba? Wala naman siya sinabi. First time ko sa sasakyan niya no, nahihiya akong kausapin siya,” I lied.
I realised, I was getting too good at lying. Hindi naman sila naging mausisa pa na inihatid ako ni Teacher Kim pauwi. Halos hindi ko na malasahan ang dinner ko kakaisip sa dinner ng parents ko at ng unofficial boyfriend ko. Although, kahit papaano, it gave me a teensy bit of peace naman knowing it was a professional dinner at kasama rin daw nila si Principal Moon at tatlo pang teachers.
❧ ❧ ❧
The next morning, I woke up as peaceful as the faded blue and silvery-white morning sky. I stood up from bed feeling refreshed and relaxed, as if I slept in a bed of flowers last night. I even smelled flowers when I pranced around the room like a little a girl in the garden.
I checked my phone and butterflies flew out of my chest; my boyfriend had sent three text messages already:
Text #1 - Good morning, my love;
Text #2 - Sending you lots of kisses, for when you wake up;
Text #3 - I can't stop thinking about you. Wake up, my love.
I replied. ”So cheesy. But I love it. Good morning! xoxo”
I was startled when my phone vibrated, he called. I answered. ”Hello.”
”It's not cheesy. I'm just British. Good morning, love.”
”Oh, you, sir, is very British, indeed. Quite charming, really,” tugon ko na may panggagaya sa accent niya.
”Oh, am I charming now, eh? But you are more, love.”
Napangiti na lang ako sa kilig. Nag-umpisa kami sa palitan nang mga nakakakilig na kakornihan, just as we did last night before we slept. I never took Teacher Kim to be a cheesy romantic. Although, I know, he can be like the perfect gentleman; he's got that British manliness in him - refined yet chivalrous.
”What should I call you now, Teacher Kim?” I asked with a tone of innocence.
”Your boyfriend..”
”Are you now?” I was smiling stupidly.
”Oh, I am, little fox. You are my little fox now. You're mine. And may I warn you, I am very possessive.”
I bit my lip. ”Ooooo. Scary. Sadistic and possessive, fatal combination.”
”Sadistic? I don't inflict pain for pleasure, my love,” he teased with a seductive sarcasm.
”Oh, now you don't? Hmmm, must be the other guy I had sex with.”
”Really? Was he any good?”
”Very. Super. He's an animal, a wild, wild, beast. Cunning as a shark, massive as a wild bear, mischivous like a pack of wolves, and ravenous like a clan of hyenas.”
He chortled. ”Bloody hell! How do you handle that? So, you fancy being attacked and violated by such, eh?”
”Err, I guess.. I'm a bit of a nutter?”
He laughed. ”Doubt so. Not nutter, my love. You are.. delightful. I bet that beastly animal was riveted by your ravishing beauty.”
”Yeah, right!” I rolled my eyes, ”I gotta go now. I can smell breakfast already.”
”We-w-we-wait.”
”What?”
”I love you.”
Napatigil ako sa paghinga. Parang gusto kong itupi yung katawan ko sa kilig. Nanigas ang panga ko, nagdikit ang mga ngipin ko. ”I love you too,” bulong ko, pero tila nangibabaw ang tunog ng kilig ko.
”We-w-w-w-we-wait.”
”What?”
”I love you again.”
Tila ba naririnig ko ang lagpas tenga na ngiti rin ni Teacher Kim. Halos mapunit naman na ang pisngi at labi ko sa ilang milyang layo na inabot ng ngiti at kilig ko. ”I love you, boyfriend,” tugon ko. Tumayo ako sa pagkakaupo sa kama at naghysterical na ako na walang tunog.
”We-w-w-wai -- ”
”Ano ba! This is cheesier than cheese fondue na ha.”
”Ok. Ok. Be off now. Pip pip. I, uh, I have to go too, need to punch myself in the gut for behaving like a teenage boy. Chat you again soon, love. I love you. Bye.”
It took me awhile to recover from the morning kilig, batid kong mukha akong tanga na ngising-ngisi sa katapat kong salamin habang nakaupo sa inidiro at umiihi.
Pagbaba ko, nadatnan ko si mama na kausap si kuya Japo sa breakfast table namin sa kitchen, habang nagsiksikan naman sa isang upuan ang tatlo ko pang kuya na may pinapanuod na basketball video sa youtube.
”Good morning, Madam Kim,” usual na kulit-lambing kong bati sa umaga kapag naabutan ko pa si mama.
Tumungo ako sa kitchen counter kung nasaan ang kape at mga artisan breads na tipikal nang breakfast namin, may nakahanda na rin na nilutong almusal sa lamesa. Lahat sila sa bahay ay caffeine addict maliban sa akin, pero lagi namang may nakahandang hot choco si kuya Japo for me.
”Cecilia, I spoke with your math teacher last night. He told me, you are up and ready for the competition. I'm very proud of you sweetheart,” panimula ni mama.
Kahit madalas wala si mama sa bahay, she never fails to let us know how proud of a mother she is of us. Madalas, awkward na nga kasi she has the tendency to be too braggy about it especially with other people. Bilang tugon, ngumiti ako nang nakadiin ang mga labi, tumungo sa lamesa bitbit ang hot choco ko.
Nagpatuloy pa si mama habang maarteng sumubo ng kaniyang gluten-free croissant. ”That Teacher Kim is very charming huh, I don't know how you manage to -- ”
Naputol si mama sa sinasabi niya nang biglang humagalpak ng tawa ang tatlo kong kuya na nakatutok sa pinapanuod nila sa iPad.
Tumingin kaming tatlo ni mama at kuya Japo at napalingo-lingo na lang kami at napairap sa tawanan ng tatlong bugoy. Napatitig naman si mama si akin, at alam ko na kung ano ang susunod niyang sasabihin.
”Cecilia, you are looking radiant this morning. Did you finally start using the night mask I bought you from Seoul?”
Pinuno ko ng bacon at ham ang bibig ko at sinagot lang siya ng isang ngiti. Alam kong tatalakan na naman niya ako about beauty regimen, mapa-oo o hindi man ang sagot ko. Pero may nadiskubre na akong escape route sa ganitong mga eksena kay mama, ayaw niya na nagiging matakaw ako and she usually does less talak sa akin kapag about food and diet.
”Japo, you should prepare healthier breakfast next time. You are going to make Cece fat if you keep cooking what she wants. Lessen the bacon.”
Perfect, si kuya Japo ang tinamaan ng talak ni mama. His expression dulled on me, binigyan ko na lang siya ng makulit na ngisi. Napalingon naman ulit kami sa tatlong bugoy nang magbatukan sila bigla; tipikal nang eksena na pagkatapos nilang magtawanan ay magbabatukan, magtutulakan at magaasaran silang tatlo.
”Did I hear lessen the bacon? That will be the end of the world for you, Peach,” komento ni kuya Jako na tumabi sa akin.
”Ma, kahit palamunin pa namin ng isang buong baboy yan si Cece, e, hindi naman yan tumataba. May alaga kayang halimaw yan sa tyan,” sabat naman ni kuya Jared. Inirapan ko lang siya, and so did Madam Kim.
”How's your dinner with dad last night ma?” pagchange topic ni kuya Jael.
Nanghintuturo si mama at inilabas niya ang Miranda Priestly niya as she sipped on her coffee. ”Excuse me. I did not have dinner with your father last night. It was professional, school related.”
Nagtinginan kaming limang magkakapatid. Napansin na kasi namin na since the bonfire night, unusually friendly ang parents namin sa isa't-isa.
”We believe you, mother. We always do... But.. you didn't go home last night, where were you?” pagusisa ni kuya Jako.
We were all curious, it was very unusual of Madam Kim not to let us know where she is when she's not home.
She looked uncomfortable with the question, so as usual, she dodged it. ”Jared, have you decided about your apprenticeship at your father's firm next year?”
Natahimik kaming lahat ng ilang segundo at umiwas ng tingin. ”Not yet ma. I'm thinking of shifting to international studies next year,” sagot ni kuya Jared habang puno ang bibig niya ng hotdog.
”Jacinto Redentor Kim-Menendez,” solidong sambit ni mama.
”Oh boy,” biglang tayo naman ni kuya Jael bitbit ang breakfast plate niya at kape.
”Did she just full named him?” bulong ni kuya Jako sa akin habang nakatutok siya sa iPad niya, na siyang tinanguan ko nang pagsang-ayon. Tumayo kami nang sabay para tumakas at sumunod din si kuya Japo.
It was always safe to stay clear kapag may sinita si mama ng buong pangalan sa amin. Ibig sabihin wala kaming takas sa talak niya. May kakaibang kapangyarihan si Madam Kim na paniwalain kami sa kung ano mang sasabihin niya, at wala kaming choice kundi sundin ito.
The rest of the morning was rather uneventful. Kahit isang oras natalakan si kuya Jared, hindi naman siya affected. He's got the thickest skull amongst us siblings, siya rin kasi ang pinakamadalas matalakan kaya sanay na sanay na siya.
”Sama ka, Peach?” tanong ni kuya Jael habang pa-cool niyang pinatalbog ang susi ng kotse niya sa kamay niya.
I was reading and relaxing sa second floor den namin malapit sa hagdan. ”Where to?”
”Mall. Japo is buying something para daw sa girlfriend niya.”
Nagisip ako saglit. ”Errr, pass. Homeworks later,” alibi ko, kahit tapos ko na lahat ng assignments ko. Ginagawa lang naman kasi nila akong girlfriend shopper, tapos kapag hindi naglululundag sa tuwa yung babae nila, ako sisisihin na kesyo pangit daw yung naisip kong bilhin.
”Right, cool! Oh, Peach! Feed Einstein later ha,” utos niya habang pababa na siya ng hagdan.
Si Einstein ang pinakamamahal niyang siberian husky at laging sabay kasi siyang kumain sa welsh corgi ko na si Moochie. May tig-isang aso kaming lima that somehow reflected our personalities, or so what our father said. Si Commander, ang german shepherd ni kuya Japo; si Valentino, ang chow chow ni kuya Jako; at si Junior, ang bulldog na reincarnation ni kuya Jared.
On the rare occcasions that Madam Kim is at home, she usually just sleeps the rest of the day after breakfast. Kuya Jako is the executive chef of an famous fancy fusion cuisine restaurant in the city, kaya kahit weekends may trabaho siya. Si kuya Jared naman, pag wala sa bahay ng weekends, malamang may bagong girlfriend. I knew I would be having lunch alone, so I called my unofficial boyfriend.
”All right, my love?” bati niya.
”Errr, pwede, lessen the endearment? I liked it better when you call me by my name,” nahihiya kong hiling.
”Right. Cece, then.”
”Thanks.”