Vol 8 Chapter 1.2 (2/2)

”I have no intention at all of insulting you. But regardless of the content, listening to others' research presentations until the end is common courtesy at the least, is it not? Even a three-year-old could do it. But you can't. Something to be ashamed of, isn't it?”

Applause rose from various spots in the cla.s.sroom. The boy bit his lip, and resumed his seat in silence.

Her slightly flushed cheeks, her wilful gaze, the line of her tightly-drawn chin―the same Safu from that day was standing right in front of him. But he couldn't touch her. He couldn't even escape with her.

That can't be.

”If you're in here―” s.h.i.+on made a fist, and punched the column as hard as his strength allowed. ”―I'll get you out. We're going together, Safu.”

No matter what you may look like.

”Stop!” Safu shrieked. ”Stop, stop. Anything but that!” She raised both her hands as if to block s.h.i.+on's vision. ”Anything but that... s.h.i.+on, please. Just don't... don't do anything cruel like that... don't.”

Safu was truly afraid. Fear radiated from her words and her gaze.

”If I was going to be seen by you like this... I would never have hoped for you. I wouldn't have wished to see you again.”

”But Safu...”

”s.h.i.+on, I'll say this again. I don't exist anymore, but I'm still trapped. It's painful. Very. I can't― I can't bear any more of this humiliation. So please, destroy the Mother. Set me free.”

He couldn't think.

Numerous white lines ran through his head, cutting off the circuits of his thoughts.

”Come on.” Nezumi pulled at his arm. ”Safu, I want you to secure the escape route for us until the very last minute.”

”I will.”

I'm an illusion. Nothing more than a mirage. This spoke to him more meaningfully than a million words put together.

Suddenly, an alarm went off. It rang out across the entire Correctional Facility.

Emergency alert. Emergency alert.

Level 5, Level 5.

Emergency evacuation. Emergency evacuation.

He pursued Safu with Nezumi still holding his arm. Half of his mind had ceased to work, and he could neither accept reality, nor make an appropriate judgment. He couldn't even a.s.sess the current situation.

All three of us are escaping together. Me, Nezumi, Safu―three of us, alive, in the flesh. We're running to stand underneath the sun again. Yes, that has to be it.

The cogwheels creaked in his head. Emitting a strange metallic sound, they turned, stopped, turned backwards, and stopped again.

Creak creak creak, creak creak creak...

His torn thought circuits mended once, then were cut apart and scattered asunder; then they solidified, and turned sticky.

All three of us are escaping. We'll be able to get out. We can get away. We can go back to that place I yearn for again.

I yearn, I yearn, I yearn, I yearn... for that place that has burned itself into my eyes, engraved itself into my soul. Not No. 6, of course, but that room. The place that brought me back to life, and allowed me to be born again.

I want to show Safu that room, where Nezumi lives.

Safu, you wouldn't believe this place. There's almost nothing in it apart from books. There's a chair. There's a kerosene heater, a bed... and the little mice. Just those. You'll probably stand there in astonishment, open your eyes wide, and look around the place again and again. You'd reach out and gently place your fingers on the piles of books. And then... and then, what would you do? Would you smile? Would you cry out in awe? Would you be so overwhelmed that you would only stand dazed?

Then, I'd tell you: 'This was my starting point.'

That room was where I started off. I took a cautious step out of the bounds of my ignorance, led along by Nezumi. Like a baby who touches the outside world for its first time, I stepped out into a world I didn't know about. I want to show that place to you. I want you to see it, too.

Oh, and Inukas.h.i.+. I need to introduce Inukas.h.i.+ to you. He's the greatest―such a jovial and wonderful person. You could probably get friendly with him in no time. Inukas.h.i.+ can really understand, you know. He can sniff out the true nature of people. No matter how well you disguise yourself, he always notices the arrogance and foolishness under your disguise.

'I have a good nose, particularly when it comes to the smell of rot. It can be meat, leftover food, or someone's rotten intentions, but I'll smell it out in no time. Can't hide nothing from me.'

He said that to me once, and he's right. Inukas.h.i.+ will sniff out anything. It's pretty amazing. And that's why I think he'll like you. He definitely will. He'll twitch the tip of his nose, and he'll say:

'Hmmm. s.h.i.+on, this girl is pretty fresh. She looks good to eat. I know for sure I wouldn't have to worry about getting food poisoning if I did.'

And he'll smirk. He has a very rough way of speaking, and―yeah, it'll probably surprise you until you get used to it... but Inukas.h.i.+ never lies. He won't turn against his own heart. He's someone you can trust with your whole being. You'll come to understand and accept the way he is.

Ha ha, I can almost imagine you stretching your hand out to Inukas.h.i.+, and him taking it gingerly with a sullen look on his face. And I'd probably be watching, trying not to laugh.

Then, there's Rikiga-san. He's quite older, and he and my mother actually knew each other. Isn't that a surprise?

Rikiga-san also has a rough way of speaking. He also has bad drinking habits. He's a big drinker, and he'll drink for almost the entire day. Nezumi and Inukas.h.i.+ always tease him about that. But I listen to the way they tease him, and it's sometimes so harsh I feel bad for him. It's true that he drinks too much, though. But―how would I describe it?―he has his own likeable traits. Rikiga-san has his own pa.s.sions and emotions, too, and I can feel them from him. He's the type of person that doesn't exist in No. 6. You'd agree, right? There's no one in that city who would show their emotions so openly. Nezumi says that all that drinking has loosened Rikiga's stopper on his emotions to the point that they're constantly gus.h.i.+ng out into the open for everyone to see... and yes, Nezumi's got quite a sharp tongue too. One that would match Inukas.h.i.+'s.

There's also a girl named Kalan. That's right, she has the same name as my mother. She's the first friend I made in the West Block. She's still a little girl, but she's strong and smart with a sense of pride. She loves picture books, and I've read them aloud to her lots of times. It had been so long since I read picture books.

And above all, I have to tell you about Nezumi. I want you to know about him. Four years ago on a stormy night, I met him. Ever since then, I feel like I've been captured by him. When I'm with him, I lose sight of myself. No, that's not it. I'm illuminated vividly. Maybe I'm blinded for an instant because that light is so bright. That's how much my vision had deteriorated. It was so weak, I couldn't even discern myself, my surroundings, or the truth. Safu, his―Nezumi's gaze and words pierce me. They shoot through me, batter me, and save me. By his hands, I was melted, wrought anew, and instilled with new life.

Safu, Safu you are my one and only, irreplaceable friend. You're an important friend, and no one else could compare.

Is that word so cruel? Is the love you have for me, and the feelings I have for you forever parallel, with no chance of intersecting?

Why are you such a kid?

You seemed weary when you said that. And you're right. I'm so immature, I'm embarra.s.sed at myself. I can't restrain my emotions. If only I could love you the way you wished me to... my one and only, so dear to me...

The cogwheels turned. They continued to jerk, producing an unpleasant sound.

Creak creak creak, creak creak creak...

All three of us are escaping. I know we can get out.

They slipped hastily past the cylindrical columns. It was still and quiet. Only two sets of footsteps―Nezumi's and s.h.i.+on's―echoed.

The crimson door opened. They could see the deserted hallway. The three doors were completely shut, and there was no sign of any human presence.

Safu's feet stopped.

”Go, hurry.” She pointed straight at the elevator. ”I'll operate it for as long as I can, up to the time limit.”

”Gotcha.” Nezumi stepped into the hallway. He was still holding onto s.h.i.+on's arm.

”Safu, you too.”

”This is as far as I'll go. s.h.i.+on, thank you, and good-bye. Nezumi, you as well.” Safu smiled.

The door closed again.

”Safu, wait, Safu―”

”s.h.i.+on.”

He was grabbed by the shoulder, and forced to turn around. A fist dug into his stomach.

”Gh―” he could hear himself emit a low groan. His body sank, and collapsed into Nezumi's arms. He didn't lose consciousness, but for an instant, his limbs went numb. He could not move.

He was being dragged to the elevator. He could feel Nezumi's laboured breathing and the beating of his heart. The elevator opened as if to summon them inside. Nezumi muttered something. s.h.i.+on couldn't hear. He tripped, staggered, and they tumbled into the elevator with Nezumi still holding onto s.h.i.+on.

The elevator descended rapidly.

The security alarm was still going off.

Emergency alert. Emergency alert.

Level 5. Level 5.

Emergency evacuation. Emergency evacuation.

All personnel, evacuate immediately.

Level 5. Level 5.

Emergency evacuation. Emergency evacuation.

”―Safu,” s.h.i.+on choked, still thrown out onto the floor. Nezumi also crouched, breathing raggedly.

I can't stand any more, he thought. Both his body and soul had withered. They were withered dry, yet so heavy. He felt like lead had been poured into him, down to the tips of his hair. He couldn't move anything.

”Don't... make noise yet.” Nezumi's voice. It was coming from somewhere high above his head. Echoing somewhere far, far in the distance.

Nezumi, what am I here for? Why am I here, collapsed in weakness, unable to move? Where is Safu? Why did you leave her? Tell me. 'Don't cling onto to others. Grasp your own answers,' you'd probably say. You scorn people who cling to others too easily. I feel shame at my weakness. But this time, please just tell me the answer. Give me the correct one.

Why am I here? Why am I here, having left Safu behind? Tell me. Tell me, Nezumi.

I cling to you.

The elevator came to an abrupt stop, and his body was thrown up by the impact, and flung across the floor again. The door opened partway, and then ceased to move. The lights went out.

He could hear thunder from far-off. A second impact hit him shortly afterwards. It was much heavier than the first one.

Thunder? No. It's nothing like that. This is―

An explosion jammed his ears. Darkness bore down on him.

Holding his hands over his ears, s.h.i.+on raised a voiceless cry.

The elevator closed. It began its descent.

Safu stood silently, watching it leave.

Suddenly, a gentle voice rang out in her ears.

”It's you, Elyurias.” Her eyes roved, but of course, she saw nothing. She could not see, but she could feel.

Safu, was this the right thing to do? Are you truly satisfied?

Safu tilted her head in uncertainty. She put a hand to her chest. Tears sprang unexpectedly into her eyes.

I want to raise my voice and cry.

s.h.i.+on―s.h.i.+on, you're gone.

You came all the way here for me. I thought that would be enough, but what am I feeling? What is this rush of emotion?

s.h.i.+on, s.h.i.+on, why is he the one beside you? Why isn't it me? Why did fate not allow me to live alongside you? If he wasn't here, would you have loved me instead?

You may not have been able to live together, but you could have died together.

Safu lifted her face, and clasped her hands together at her breast.

Safu, you did not wish for that?

In truth, in truth, had I wished... that you would die with me, that you would expire here with me... s.h.i.+on?

She shook her head. She did not wish for that. Even now, she did not wish for it a tiny bit. She wanted him to be alive. She wanted him to live, and change this world. She wanted him to create a world in which no one was forced to die such an unfair death.

s.h.i.+on, live. Live out your life. Please.

”Elyurias, what will you do?”

Me? What will I do...?

”Yes. You've been set free, too. What will you do from here?”

Laughter rang out. It sounded like the wind crossing a gra.s.sy plain.

You watch and see what I will do.

Safu shuddered. It was no breeze from the plains; she felt like she was being hit by a frigid wind mixed with sleet. A chill wind, signalling the arrival of the coldest days of the winter.

Safu, I liked you. Perhaps... perhaps my meeting a human like you will prove to mean very much to me.

”What do you mean?”

I wonder what? Oh, it's time. I must go. Good-bye, Safu.

”Good-bye.”

Yes, it was time. Safu closed her eyes. She felt the warm rays of the sun and smelled the fragrance of the trees. She was able to let a faint smile play on her lips.

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