Vol 8 Chapter 1.2 (1/2)

This is a continuation of PART A.

”Thank you. I am grateful.” Safu clasped her hands, and bowed her head.

”I don't need any thanks. Destroying the Mother is like shooting the Correctional Facility through the heart. I could have wished with all my might and still not gotten this opportunity. It's worth a try, if this column will really open and expose the Mother, even for a moment.”

Nezumi's eyes glittered. It was like the glitter of a finely-sharpened knife.

The control panel lit up without warning. Words emerged in the air. Nezumi gave a short whistle. He placed his fingers on the control panel.

”Unlocked, unlocked, unlocked... heh, a miracle transformation from haughty queen to meek lady. Now even I can handle her.”

s.h.i.+on's gaze was focused intently on Nezumi's fingertips. Every time, and at any time, he couldn't help but admire those graceful movements. To s.h.i.+on, those fingers seemed to play a sweet melody, or breathe life into a lively rhythm.

Every time, and at any time, he couldn't help but admire him.... But this time, his heart was not drawn as strongly as usual.

The restless sounds of his heart refused to disappear. Instead, they echoed even more strongly.

Nezumi's fingers stilled. A silver thread suddenly appeared in the centre of the column. One, two, three, four. The silver threads intersected to form a rectangle.

”The door,” Nezumi said. ”All you have to say now is 'open sesame'.” Perhaps even he was tense; Nezumi's voice was low and somewhat heavy-sounding.

”Wait.” s.h.i.+on grabbed Nezumi's wrist. He could feel the other's body heat and pulse on the palm of his hand. ”Just wait for a second.”

A shadow crossed Nezumi's eyes. A breath's length of silence.

”s.h.i.+on, we don't have time to be wishy-washy and hesitant.”

”I know. But wait, please... Safu.”

Safu's head was still bowed. Her shoulders clad in her black sweater were trembling.

”Safu, you still haven't answered my question. Why are you refusing us? Why aren't you coming any closer?”

”s.h.i.+on...”

”And that sweater... your grandmother hand-knitted that, didn't she? The last time I saw that was a long time ago. I probably wasn't even ten then.”

”You're right.” Safu broke into a sudden smile. ”You were the one to speak to me first. You said it suited me. I was happy... so happy. Everyone else was laughing condescendingly at my hand-knitted sweater. They were saying that you'd only find a wool sweater in a museum these days. But you didn't laugh. You... only you were loyal to your own feelings and emotions, and to others, too. s.h.i.+on... I was able to meet you in that bleak... even lonely... world of elite education. And that, I think, is very―”

”Stop!” s.h.i.+on overran Safu's words. ”Why are you talking about past memories? That's not what I want to hear. What I want to say is: why are you still able to wear a sweater you got when you were ten? You've grown taller since then, and your frame has changed, too. There's no way you should be able to wear it. Or is that a new sweater that looks exactly the same? But...”

”I wanted you to remember.” Safu interrupted s.h.i.+on this time. ”I wanted you to remember me. You said this suited me... so I wanted you to remember me wearing this sweater.”

”Remember? Are you telling me to turn you into a memory? Safu, what're you talking about? You're not planning to come along with us?”

”s.h.i.+on, leave it at that.” Nezumi grasped his arm again. This time, he held fast and yanked. It was enough power to make s.h.i.+on stagger.

s.h.i.+on tripped, and b.u.mped into Nezumi. Nezumi did not budge.

”That's enough. This is as far as it goes.”

”A far as what goes?”

”Don't corner her to distract yourself from your own uncertainty. That's a cowardly thing to do.”

s.h.i.+on felt himself sweating. Nezumi's gaze stabbed at him.

”Me... cowardly...”

”s.h.i.+on, you know already, don't you? There's no way you couldn't have realized. And if you have realized... don't avert your eyes from the truth. Averting your eyes and running away isn't going to solve anything. Nothing will change, and nothing will return to the way it was.”

It will solve nothing. Nothing will change. Nothing will return to the way it was.

It was difficult to draw a breath. The sweat stung in his eyes.

”s.h.i.+on, don't run away. At the very least, not now... you can't run away now.”

He blinked. He caught Nezumi's gaze. He turned his head, and glanced at Safu.

”...You're saying she's not real... that she's an illusion.”

”She's what the Mother is showing us: a virtual reality. Your friend doesn't exist in reality.”

Doesn't exist in reality. What is that? What do those words mean?

s.h.i.+on was close to screaming. Terror welled up from the core of his body. Safu had not run into his outstretched arms. She had not even tried to touch s.h.i.+on's fingertips.

She had not been able to. She was neither able to embrace nor be embraced.

Doesn't exist in reality.

An incorporeal

illusion.    An incorporeal illusion.

Nezumi's tone became hurried, though only slightly. ”At first I thought it was a trap. But I changed my mind when I realized there would be no point in setting a trap for us now. If it wanted to kill us, it had hundreds, thousands of opportunities to do so. It had a reason to keep us alive and bring us here. The Mother went as far as to borrow Safu's body because it needed to tell us something... that's what I was thinking. What I didn't expect was that it would send us on the task of killing the Mother itself.”

”The Mother...” s.h.i.+on glanced at the sphere covered in protrusions. ”It's not the Mother,” he shook his head. Nezumi's fingers loosened. ”If the Mother had created the virtual image, it would have recreated it true to Safu. It wouldn't take the trouble to pull up the black sweater from Safu's memories. Computers don't have emotions. But Safu chose that sweater out of her own will. It wasn't the Mother... Nezumi, the Mother isn't the one showing Safu to us... it's Safu herself.”

”So Safu is using the Mother to project herself?”

”Yeah... isn't that right, Safu? Or is this Elyurias' doing, too?” It sounded so unlike his own voice. Like a cowering beast baring its fangs, desperately raising its voice in aggression. That kind of growl. Twisted and ugly, and fierce but intimidated.

”Yes... Elyurias wakened me. Before then, I felt like I was drifting through a dream... just floating... Elyurias awakened my consciousness, and taught me what I could do. I... can't overrule the Mother. But I can use part of its functions... that's all I can do.”

”Where are you? Where are you in reality?”

”Nowhere.” Safu's voice turned strained. ”I don't exist anywhere anymore.”

”That's absurd. Then who made you, standing in front of me like this? Didn't you?”

”I'm not here, s.h.i.+on. I've already...”

Safu took a step closer. s.h.i.+on also advanced. He extended his arm straight forward. It touched nothing. His fingers had reached Safu's shoulder, but there was nothing there. Moments ago, he had felt Nezumi's body heat and pulse. That warmth and movement was proof that he was alive.

”I wanted to say good-bye to you. I wanted to say thank you. I was happy all this time... because you were there.”

Safu looked up at s.h.i.+on. A defiant glint shone in her eyes. ”I loved you.”

”Safu―”

”That's my truth. It doesn't matter what you think of me. I loved you, and only that is the truth.”

Oh, that's Safu, s.h.i.+on thought. Firmly-grounded strength, a beautiful resilience like that of a bird in flight: that was Safu.

”If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't have known what it was like to yearn after someone. I would never have known what it meant to love.... I'm glad I was able to know. I was born, and I was able to meet you. I don't regret a single thing. Hm, well, that might be a little bravado. You did tell me once that I had a bad habit putting on a brave face.”

Safu's fingers touched s.h.i.+on's cheek. He didn't feel it on his skin. But he definitely did feel that Safu's fingers had touched him.

”s.h.i.+on... you think so, too, don't you?”

Safu threw a glance over s.h.i.+on's shoulder at Nezumi, who was standing behind him.

”You feel the same way I do, don't you? You're glad you were able to know. You wouldn't be able to live anymore without knowing what yearning and love is like.”

”...Yeah.” You're right, Safu. I know. I came to know No. 6's true face, and the fact that No. 6 existed within me, too. I came to know what it was like for my heart to feel moved for someone, to yearn strongly for someone. I can't go back to when I didn't know. I don't want to go back. I would never want to go back to when I lived peacefully, knowing nothing.

s.h.i.+on clenched his hand into a hard fist to repress his shaking. But even his fist began to tremble.

”We don't have to go back. There's no need to. Safu, we just need to start off from when we do know. We can start off right now, from this place.”

It's a starting point. A beginning, not an end. Right, Safu? We can go on living together. Together...

His eyes fell on the tubes coming out of the Mother.

What is that connected to?

What are those tubes for?

”Please,” Safu said, looking intently at Nezumi. ”Destroy the Mother.”

Nezumi didn't try to avoid Safu's gaze. He met it silently, and nodded his a.s.sent. Safu breathed a sigh of relief. It was a breath of real relief, from the bottom of her heart.

”Thank you so much...”

”I'll fulfil the promise. I never break a promise made, no matter what it is.”

”Yes... I know. You're that kind of person, aren't you?”

Nezumi faced the control panel again.

The section framed by silver lines glowed faintly red, and slid to the side.

The door had opened.

Nezumi plunged his arm into the opening without a second of hesitation. The control panel prevented him from leaning forward any further. The Mother was out of reach by a very small distance.

”Tsukiyo.”

A black mouse poked its head out from out of the folds of superfibre. It looked about, then scurried swiftly up to Nezumi's shoulder.

”I'm counting on you.”

Nezumi held out the coin-shaped bomb, and Tsukiyo took it in its mouth.

”Nezumi, wait, Wait, please!”

”Can't,” Nezumi said flatly. ”I'm going to destroy the Mother. I'm not going to wait any longer.”

”Don't. Wait, please. Wait. Let me check what's on the other end of those tubes.”

”There's no need.”

His gaze collided with Nezumi's.

”...Are you saying you know? Where Safu is... and what's on the end of those tubes...”

”You should know, too. You saw it, after all.”

It?

The expanse outside this room. It was like a cemetery with rows of transparent gravestones. Gravestones, or coffins? A burial vessel, each one with a human brain inside.

”Go.”

Tsukiyo dashed off at its master's command. It leapt energetically toward the Mother, and landed on top of it.

”Alright, good. Now wedge it right there.”

Tsukiyo's movements were swift and smooth. It wedged the coin bomb between two projections, lifted its head, and twitched its nose toward Nezumi as if to wait for further orders.

”Good job.”

Tsukiyo hopped into Nezumi's open palm. As he withdrew his arm, the door to the Mother closed in the same silent way that it had opened.

s.h.i.+on watched the events unfold before him stock-still, rooted to the ground.

Nezumi's eyes looked past s.h.i.+on.

”Done. Time limit is three minutes. That's the longest I can set the timer for.”

”Three minutes... get away, quickly.” Safu's tone and gaze tensed. s.h.i.+on looked from Nezumi to Safu.

”If we're going to escape, you're going to be coming with us.”

”s.h.i.+on, how many times will you make me repeat myself? I can't go. You and Nezumi escape together.”

”Safu.”

”Go. You don't have a second to waste. Hurry.”

When they were students, they had been required to present research for their a.s.signments once a month. When it was Safu's turn to present, some students with the same research topic had made noise and disrupted her on purpose. Even before s.h.i.+on could stand up to admonish them, Safu had looked straight at those students and thrown a sharp remark.

”You should be ashamed.”

The boy who had been at the centre of the noise-making stood up, and scowled exaggeratedly. ”We should be ashamed? Are you insulting us?”