Part 16 (2/2)
CULCH. Didn't I? Oh, surely! yes, I've--er--_met_ that lady. (_With grateful deference to_ MR. BELLERBY, _who has just addressed him._) You are an Art-Collector? Indeed? And--er--have you--er--?
MR. B. I've the three finest Bodgers in the kingdom, Sir, and there's a Gubbins--a _Joe_ Gubbins, mind you, not _John_--that's hanging now in the morning-room of my place in the country that I wouldn't take a thousand pounds for! I go about using my eyes, and pick 'em up cheap.
Cheapest picture _I_ ever bought was a Prout--thirty-two by twenty; got it for two pound ten! Unfinished, of course, but it only wanted the colour being brought up to the edge. _I_ did that. Took me half a day, and _now_--well, any dealer would give me hundreds for it! But I shall leave it to the nation, out of respect for Prout's memory.
BOB PR. (_to_ PODBURY). Yes, came over by the St. Gothard. Who is that girl who was talking to Culchard just now? Do you know her? I say, I wish you'd introduce me some time.
MISS T. (_to_ CULCHARD). You don't seem vurry bright this evening. I'd like you to converse with your friend opposite, so I could get a chance to chip in. I'm ever so interested in that girl!
CULCH. Presently--presently, if I have an opportunity. (_Hastily to_ MR.
B.) I gather that you paint yourself, Sir?
MR. B. Well, yes. I a.s.sure you I often go to a Gallery, see a picture there that takes my fancy, go back to my office, and paint it in half an hour from memory--so like the original that, if it were framed, and hung up alongside, it would puzzle the man who painted it to know t'other from which! I have indeed! I paint original pictures, too. Most important thing I ever did was--let me see now--three feet by two and three-quarters. I was most successful in getting an effect of rose-coloured snow against the sky. I sponged it up, and--well, it came right somehow. _Luck_, that was, not skill, you know. I sent that picture to the Royal Academy, and they did me the honour to--ar--reject it.
CULCH. (_vaguely_). An--er--honour, indeed.--(_In despair, as_ MR. B.
_rises._)--You----You're not _going!_
MR. B. (_consolingly_). Only into the garden, for coffee. I observe you are interested in Art. We will--ar--resume this conversation later.
[_Rises_; MISS PRENDERGAST _rises too, and goes towards the garden._
CULCH. (_as he follows, hastily_). I must get this business over--if I can. But I wish I knew exactly _how_ much to tell her. It's really very awkward--between the two of them. I'm afraid I've been a little too precipitate.
IN THE GARDEN; A FEW MINUTES LATER.
MISS PREND. (_who has retired to fetch her gla.s.ses--with gracious playfulness_). Well, Mr. Culchard, and how has my knight performed his lady's behests?
CULCH. May I ask _which_ knight you refer to?
MISS P. (_slightly changing countenance_). Which! Then--you know there is another? Surely there is nothing in that circ.u.mstance to--to offend--or hurt you?
CULCH. Offended? (_Considers whether this would be a good line to take._) Hardly _that_. Hurt? Well, I confess to being pained--very much pained, to discover that I was unconsciously pitted--against Podbury!
MISS P. But why? I have expressed no preference as yet. You can scarcely have become so attached to him that you dread the result of a successful rivalry!
CULCH. (_to himself_). It's a loop-hole--I'll try it. (_Aloud._) You have divined my feeling exactly. In--er--obeying your commands, I have learned to know Podbury better--to see in him a sterling nature, more worthy, in some respects, than my own. And I know how deeply he has centred all his hopes upon you, Miss Prendergast. Knowing, seeing that as I--er--_do_, I feel that--whatever it costs me--I cannot run the risk of wrecking the--er--life's happiness of so good a fellow. So you must really allow me to renounce vows accepted under--er--an imperfect comprehension of the--er--facts! [_Wipes his brow._
MISS P. This is quite too Quixotic. Reflect, Mr. Culchard. Is such a sacrifice demanded of you? I a.s.sure you I am perfectly neutral at present. I _might_ prefer Mr. Podbury. I _really_ don't know. And--and I don't _like_ losing one of my suitors like this!
CULCH. Don't tempt me! I--I mustn't listen, I cannot. No, I renounce. Be kind to Podbury--try to recognize the good in him ... he is so devoted to you--make him happy, if you can!
MISS P. (_affected_). I--I really can't tell you how touched I am, Mr.
Culchard. I can guess what this renunciation must have cost you. It--it gives me a better opinion of human nature ... it does, indeed!
CULCH. (_loftily, as she rises to go in_). Ah, Miss Prendergast, _don't_ lose your faith in human nature! Trust me, it is--er--full of surprises!
(_Alone._) Now am I an abominable humbug, or what? I swear I felt every word I said, at the time. Curious psychological state to be in. But I'm out of what might have been a very unpleasant mess, at all events!
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