Part 12 (1/2)

CULCH. (_whose jaw has visibly fallen_). I cannot say I recall it at this moment. Does he hold that a lover should expect to be accepted by--er--instalments, because, if so----

MISS P. I think I can quote his exact words. ”If she simply doesn't like him, she may send him away for seven years----”

CULCH. (_stiffly_). No doubt that course is open to her. But why seven, and where is he expected to go?

MISS P. (_continuing calmly_). ”He vowing to live on cresses and wear sackcloth meanwhile, or the like penance.”

CULCH. I feel bound to state at once that, in my own case, my position at Somerset House would render anything of that sort utterly impracticable.

MISS P. Wait, please,--you are so impetuous. ”If she likes him a little,”--(CULCHARD'S _brow relaxes_)--”or thinks she might come to like him in time, she may let him stay near her,”--(CULCHARD _makes a movement of relief and grat.i.tude_)--”putting him always on sharp trial, and requiring, figuratively, as many lion-skins or giants' heads as she thinks herself worth.”

CULCH. (_grimly_). ”Figuratively” is a distinct concession on Ruskin's part. Still, I should be glad to know----

MISS P. If you will have a little more patience, I will make myself clear. I have always determined that when the--ah--occasion presented itself, I would deal with it on Ruskinian principles. I propose in your case--presuming of course that you are willing to be under vow for me--to adopt a middle course.

CULCH. You are extremely good. And what precise form of--er--penance did you think of?

MISS P. The trial I impose is, that you leave Constance to-morrow--with Mr. Podbury.

CULCH. (_firmly_). If you expect me to travel for seven years with him, permit me to mention that I simply cannot do it. My leave expires in three weeks.

MISS P. I mentioned no term, I believe. Long before three weeks are over we shall meet again, and I shall be able to see how you have borne the test. I wish you to correct, if possible, a certain intolerance in your att.i.tude towards Mr. Podbury. Do you accept this probation, or not?

CULCH. I--ah--suppose I have no choice. But you really must allow me to say that it is _not_ precisely the reception I antic.i.p.ated. Still, in your service, I am willing to endure even Podbury--for a strictly limited period; that I _do_ stipulate for.

MISS P. That, as I have already said, is quite understood. Now go and arrange with Mr. Podbury.

CULCH. (_to himself, as he retires_). It is _most_ unsatisfactory; but at least Podbury is disposed of!

_The same Scene, a quarter of an hour later._ PODBURY _and_ MISS PRENDERGAST.

PODB. (_with a very long face_). No, I _say_, though! Ruskin doesn't say all that?

MISS P. I am not in the habit of misquoting. If you wish to verify the quotation, however, I dare say I could find you the reference in _Fors Clavigera_.

PODB. (_ruefully_). Thanks--I won't trouble you. Only it does seem rather rough on fellows, don't you know. If every one went on his plan--well, there wouldn't be many marriages! Still, I never thought you'd say ”Yes” right off. It's like my cheek, I know, to ask you at all; you're so awfully clever and that. And if there's a chance for me, I'm game for anything in the way of a trial. Don't make it stiffer than you can help, that's all!

MISS P. All I ask of you is to leave me for a short time, and go and travel with Mr. Culchard again.

PODB. Oh, I say, Miss Prendergast, you know. Make it something else.

_Do!_

MISS P. That is the task I require, and I can accept no other. It is nothing, after all, but what you came out here to do.

PODB. I didn't know him _then_, you see. And what made me agree to come away with him at all is beyond me. It was all Hughie Rose's doing--he said we should get on together like blazes. So we have--_very_ like blazes!

MISS P. Never mind that. Are you willing to accept the trial or not?

PODB. If you only knew what he's like when he's nasty, you'd let me off--you would, really. But there, to please you, I'll do it. I'll stand him as long as ever I can--'pon my honour I will. Only you'll make it up to me afterwards, won't you now?