Part 14 (2/2)
”Aye, He sent you Sir David!” Philippa lifted her voice above Hazel's new and loudly expressed indignation. ”Give me your keys.”
Alisoun touched the big iron ring of keys at her belt. ”Why?”
”Because she's not supposed to have keys, and if she has something forbidden, she'll be happy.”
Alisoun wanted to point out that this was a dangerous precedent to start, that if they rewarded the child for crying by giving her what she should not have, it would become a habit. But it occurred to Alisoun that Philippa had more than she could handle. Without a husband, Philippa had to love the baby, discipline the baby, worry about the baby all alone. Most of all, worry about the baby. Philippa hadn't lost weight as Alisoun did when she worried. She had actually become plumper, but nothing could erase the lines etched on her forehead.
Alisoun tossed the keys. They landed with a thunk among the lemon balm, uprooting one tall plant. The tart scent only accented Alisoun's horror, and Philippa hastily plucked the broad, broken leaves and replaced the herb. ”Maybe Tochi won't notice,” she said, and rattled the keys before Hazel's face. Hazel's eyes grew big and astonished; she reached for the keys eagerly, and Philippa placed the heavy ring in her lap. Satisfied that her child was entertained, she turned back to Alisoun. ”Sir David would give you fine, plump babies for you to cradle.”
”Then he'd be on his way.”
”Perhaps. If you sent him. But I doubt he'd refuse you should you propose marriage.”
”Why would I want a man like that? We're nothing alike.”
”I don't know.” A smile played around Philippa's face, and she plucked a weed or two from the ground. ”Why do you want him?”
”What makes you think I want him?”
”I'm the one who chased the curious from the door of your accounting room.”
Alisoun framed a tart response, then discarded it. This was Philippa, after all. She could tell her the truth. ”He's awful. He laughs at customs, and at protocol that is right and proper.”
”You're still angry because he went out to the kitchen and cajoled the cook into putting those live frogs in the pie sh.e.l.l so when you opened it they all jumped out and you screamed.”
”Nay, that's not the bad thing.” Alisoun wiped her hand on her ap.r.o.n. ”I wanted to laugh.”
Philippa did laugh. ”There's hope for you, Alisoun.”
”He's an evil influence on me.” Philippa just grinned and shook her head, and Alisoun tried to impress the dire results of his personality on her. ”One evening I sat and spoke with him for the pleasure of his company, and I didn't even busy myself with needlework.”
”One evening,” Philippa mocked.
”But once a person starts the slide down the winding road of sloth, she'll find it hard to claw her way back to the straight and narrow way.”
”Do you have to quote Lady Frances to me always?” Philippa complained.
”She was the lady who fostered us!”
”She was a mean old woman who sucked the joy from life.”
”I didn't know you felt that way. I am shocked.”
Philippa flung her little pile of weeds at Alisoun, scattering them across the herbs. ”Nay, you're not. You always thought that, too. You just never dared to admit it.”
Alisoun withered like the uprooted lemon balm. ”I am wicked. Do you know that when Sir David makes fun of the king for being so pompous, it's as if he saw into my mind and plucked my own thoughts before I had given them birth?”
”It's when he does that imitation of Sir Walter that I can scarcely contain myself.”
”And Sir Walter doesn't even realize it's him.”
The women looked at each other and burst out laughing.
Alisoun grew ashamed, sobered, and bent to her work again. ”Do you realize that when he kisses me, I forget my duties?”
Philippa gurgled with what sounded like laughter, but when Alisoun looked at her she bent her head to the ground.
”My organization has suffered since he came, and when he-” The heel of his hand had brought her such strange feelings, but she couldn't bring herself to say that. ”When Sir David applied physical manipulations to my skin, I almost lost control.”
”Almost?”
”I did lose control.”
”No wonder he's a legend,” Philippa said reverently.
Shocked, Alisoun said, ”Sir David is just as bad an influence on you as he is on me. You've never spoken this way before, and you certainly never suggested I should give birth without benefit of marriage.”
”It's not Sir David who makes me say these things. It's living and thinking and doing everything that was proper and G.o.dly all my life, and then finding that my reward is exile and a life of fear.” Philippa crushed some of the marjoram leaves in her hand and lifted them to her nose. ”Marjoram for happiness. I want you to be happy.”
In an odd sort of way, Philippa's suggestion began to make sense, and Alisoun feared it was because she, too, had considered bedding Sir David. Still she argued aloud. ”He's not as n.o.ble as I am, and he's certainly not as rich.”
”All the men who are n.o.ble and rich enough for you are old, disgusting creatures.” Philippa plucked a few weeds from amongst the balm.
”Marriage is not for enjoyment.”
”I know.”
Alisoun wished she hadn't said that. Now Philippa pulled weeds with a vengeance, and a frown puckered her brow. But the words couldn't be called back, so Alisoun added, ”And the king would be angry.”
”Once the deed is done, he'd resign himself, wouldn't he? It wouldn't be the first time. Anyway, if it's not marriage you want, then fine. I understand that. But you need a babe.”
”Why?” The kitten stalked through the row of parsley to pounce on one sprig which apparently taunted it.
”To inherit your lands.”
Alisoun lifted the kitten free of the green forest before it ruined Tochi's best plants. ”That's why you think I need a babe?”
A ghost smile touched Philippa's lips. ”I think you just need a babe to love.”
”I have this stupid, skinny, sharp-toothed kitten.” Who clung like a burr as it climbed her bosom to stand on her shoulder, and who purred in her ear and rubbed its face against her cheek.
”That cat's not going to do it. Nothing makes you a real person like your own infant to care for, plan for. All the thinking in the world doesn't replace the excitement of holding your child for the first time, and when I look at Hazel-” Philippa stroked the baby's bald head, then wiped at the dirty streaks with her sleeve, ”-it makes my insides squeeze all funny.”
”That's attractive.”
”I don't know how to describe it. You were always the clever one. All I know is if someone hurt Hazel-” Philippa's face lost expression and her eyes grew cold, ”-I would kill him.”
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