Part 18 (1/2)
”Are you kidding? She drank like a fish, naturally,” Lili said. ”As if you had to ask. Then she got a job. But I'm getting ahead of myself. You wanted to hear about Tris.”
Again she smiled, and Laura hated her smile. ”Just tell me, Lili,” she said. ”Without the dramatics.”
”Certainly, darling ... Well, Tris came back and the first thing she did was come looking for you to tell you she was sorry. I don't know for what. But I was there when she arrived. I couldn't leave Beebo alone for five minutes, it was that bad. So anyway, we were having dinner when Tris came and she looked very surprised not to see you, but if you ask me, she was thrilled to death. She's been on the make for Beebo ever since you met at the dress shop. She strung you along for a contact with Beebo.”
”I don't believe you,” Laura lied bravely. ”Go on.”
”Well, darling, that makes it slightly awkward. It's essential to the narrative that you believe it.” But Laura's cold white face discouraged her sarcasm and she went on. ”Well, Tris was nuts for her. That time she burst in on you and Beebo got so madyes, she told me about itshe came to see Beebo, not you. She didn't care a d.a.m.n if it got you in trouble. The only thing she cared about was seeing Beebo. She wasn't very happy about the way Beebo treated her then, but she's had better luck since...
”Well, Beebo didn't even try to fight her off. She just let her in and they spent a couple of weeks together. And the whole time that awful MiloTris's husbandI think you've met?yes. That must have been jolly.” She grinned maliciously. ”Well, Milo was over there all the time, just mad as h.e.l.l. It's a wonder he didn't kill Beebo, the way Tris carried on about her. It took him four whole months to drag her away, and Tris still comes over whenever she can sneak out. But Beebo and Milo get along better now. Since he realised Beebo's not in love with his wife.
”For some strange reason she can't seem to fall in love with anybody. I think she's crazy myself. I mean, after all, you're not that irresistible.” She paused and Laura took advantage of it to switch the subject, fast.
”What about the job? You said she had a job.”
”Oh, yes, I did, didn't I? Well, she's waiting on tables at the Colophon. Oh, don't look so disappointed, lamb, she lilies it. Besides, she can wear pants.” Lili knew how Laura hated Beebo's elevator uniform, and it pleased her to point out that Beebo hadn't reformed. ”She works from five to eleven,” Lili went on. ”Really very good hours. And then of course she's free to get soused till dawn.”
”Does she?”
”Sometimes.”
”Is it very bad?” Laura asked, her voice a little shaky with fatigue.
”Sometimes.”
”G.o.d, Lili, is that all you can say? Sometimes? Tell me about her, I haven't heard anything for eight months!”
”That's the way you wanted it, darling.”
”No. No, it isn't,” she whispered. ”That's the way it had to be.”
”I would sayjudging strictly from your very interesting diarythat you were glad to get rid of Beebo. Maybe you're just here to ease your conscience, hm? Be sure she hasn't done anything messy you'd have to blame yourself for?”
Laura had to look away for a minute. The shame was too plain on her face. ”That was a stupid thing, that diary,” she mumbled. She started crying softly, helplessly. ”Lili, cut out the sarcasm,” she pleaded, knowing it would do no good. ”Why, don't be silly!” Lili exclaimed, enjoying the scene. I haven't an ounce of sarcasm in me. I'm just a reporter giving you the facts.”
”You're a lousy gossip columnist!” Laura said. ”You're all dirty digs and snide cracks, and about a tenth of what you say is true. Tris Robischon was shy and neurotic. She hated gay bars. She wouldn't have gone in if she hadn't been forced. She hated gay people so much that she wouldn't a.s.sociate with them.”
”Like h.e.l.l,” Lili said elegantly. ”She lived in the Village, didn't she? Who do you mink her ballet pupils were, any way?”
”Children! Men! Little girls!”
”And big girls, darling.”
”She never had affairs with them. She might have slept with one or two of the men, but not with the girls. I'm sure of it”
”Have you talked to Milo about that?”
”No ... not about that. But I know Tris!”
”Must be wonderful to be so sure of yourself, pet,” Lili drawled. ”The fact is, your little pseudo-Indian slept with dozens of her pupils. She went to the Lessie bars because Beebo did, and Beebo's not the first girl she's done it with. You can check it. Go ask the bartender at the Cellar. Ask the lovelies at the Colophon. At Julian's. Go on. Scared?”
Laura stood up suddenly and headed for the door. ”I've had enough, Lili. Thanks. Thanks a lot” She spoke briefly, afraid of more tears, and grabbed her coat as she went But Lili got up and ran after her.
”But darling, I want to know where you've been all this time!”
”It's no business of yours.”
”Oh, tell me, Laura. Don't be difficult,” she said. ”Beebo would be interested,” she wheedled.
”Oh, I doubt it. After what you've told me. But just foe the record, I've been living uptown.”
”Where uptown?”
But Laura shook her head.
”Alone?” Lili said.
”No.” Laura didn't know why she said it. It just seemed easier than arguing. Besides, she didn't want Lili to think she was friendless and despised everywhere.
”You know, Jack Mann disappeared from the Village the same time you did,” Lili said, her voice vibrant with curiosity.
”Yes.”
”Do you know where he is?”
”I see him now and then.” She slipped her coat on and opened the front door, not bothering to look back at Lili. Her face was streaked with tears and torment and she wanted to go, to get out, to hide somewhere.
”Where are you going, pet? Why in such a hurry?”
”I'm a little sick, Lili, thanks to you. You have that effect on me,” Laura said.
Lili laughed charmingly. ”Imagine!” she said. ”It's an even trade, then. Well, just so you don't go near Beebo, I guess it's safe to let you loose.”
”I have no intention of going near Beebo,” Laura said coldly, turning to look at her.
”Good,” Lili said. ”She'd kill you for sure.”
Laura felt a red fury come up in her and she stepped back into the living room, her face so strange and tense that Lili, for the first time since Laura had come, became rather alarmed.
”Lili, G.o.dd.a.m.n you to h.e.l.l, quit telling lies! Quit exaggerating!” Laura cried. ”I hurt Beebo, but not that much. I didn't ruin her life, for G.o.d's sake! Or cripple her or kill her or drive her crazy! And I won't stand here and be accused of something I didn't do. Beebo's no angel, you know. Beebo d.a.m.n near drove me out of my mind when we lived together. She hurt me more than onceI mean really hurt, and I've got scars to prove it I know she loved me, but that doesn't make her perfect and me a doubled.a.m.ned b.i.t.c.h. Love affairs have broken up before. The world keeps on spinning!” She spoke fiercely to bolster up her words. For the truth was that Laura remembered only too well the night Beebo had told her she might kill her someday, and then herself.
But she couldn't let Lili see that, or suspect it, or think that Laura feared it. She hated Lili with all the force of her own fear and uncertainty and resentment at that moment, and her wild hair and hot face actually did scare Lili.
”All right,” Lili said finally, putting her drink down on a dainty Empire drawer table near the door. ”All right, Laura Landon, I'll tell you something.” And Laura saw now that Lili had to defend the things she had said with a good serving of bitter anger: the piece de resistance. ”You think Beebo would welcome you back with loving arms? You think she'd forgive you?”
”I didn't say that!”
”You think I've been kidding about how hard she took it when you broke up? When you left her? Sure you do. You make yourself think it. Because you don't want to feel guilty about it. But you listen to this. Listen!” she cried suddenly as Laura made a sudden move to leave.