Part 11 (1/2)
”d.a.m.n him!” Laura cried indignantly.
”Yes, he might try to find me. And Beebo would pace the city looking for you. But let them. We'd be through with them forever.”
And Laura felt a very queer unwelcome pang for Beebo, for all that wealth of misdirected love. Jack was standing behind her now, his hands on her shoulders. ”Well?” he said quietly. ”Will you marry me?”
”Could Ianswer you in the morning?” she asked.
”What the h.e.l.l will you do tonight?”
”See Tris.”
”Oh. And if she's nice, it's no to old Jack. If she's b.i.t.c.hy, it's yes. Right?” He said it lightly but she knew he was hurt.
”Not quite,” she said. ”I want to test myself, I guess. Jack, for the first time I feel almostalmost like saying yes. But I want to see her first. Please let me.”
”You don't need my permission, Mother.”
”Maybe Beebo's found her already.”
”Beebo's in bad shape. I lay odds she sleeps it off for a while. Even if she's found Tris she won't be in condition to do either of you much harm. Just call a cop and say she's molesting you.”
Laura got up and turned to face him and they gazed at each other for some minutes in silence, ”Okay, Mother,” he said. ”Go. And come back mine.”
She smiled and then she walked past him to the door.
Tris was at home giving lessons when Laura got there. She had evening cla.s.ses twice a week, for adults. She didn't slam the door in Laura's face, but she gave her a black look and directed her curtly to sit down and be quiet. Her delicate mouth was ever so slightly swollen.
Tris went back to work and danced with her pupils for another forty minutes without a word or a glance at Laura. It was lovely to watch. There were only two studentsa man and a girtand they were learning an intricate duet at Tris's direction. They would execute what looked to Laura like a perfect step and suddenly Tris would swoop down on them, shouting temperamental criticisms. She finally made the man dance with her, to give the girl the idea.
Laura watched her fascinated as she leaped into his arms, straight and smooth and beautifully sure of herself. And Laura realized slowly that only when she danced with the man did Tris look over at her to see her expression.
She's trying to make me jealous, Laura thought, and she was suddenly weary; weary of all the envy and ill feeling and violence. She wanted nothing more than to lie down quietly by Tris's side, when the couple had gone, and gently, without explanations or apologies, make love till they both fell asleep. She knew if it happened Like thatnaturally and easily and without painthat she would stay with Tris. But she was afraid that even if it were bitter and unhappy, she would stay anyway.
And still, an angry core of resentment smoldered in her, resentment at Tris for having the effrontery to walk in on Laura and Beebo and cause the bitter outburst that had separated them. She was brooding about this when Tris suddenly dismissed her dancers.
The two went into her bedroom to change and Laura waited for Tris to speak to her. But Tris only glared, performing a few indolent turns until her students returned. Then she unexpectedly introduced them all. She was curt, almost unpleasant about it.
The young man smiled at Laura and said, ”Never mind her, she's bad company tonight. Thanks, Tris.” And he gave her a strange look and left, following the girl.
Tris shut the door after them and turned to Laura. ”The girl is insufferable,” she said. ”She can't dance, and she is a vixen besides.”
”The boy can dance,” Laura said, not without a jealous twitch.
”Yes, he can. He can make love, too. And he doeswhen I don't have company.”
She said it pointedly and Laura felt her whole face go a hot red. She stood up without speaking and made for the door, her head swimming, but Tris stopped her there by embracing her. Laura was in no mood for Tris's sudden turnabouts.
”G.o.d d.a.m.n you, let me go,” she exclaimed.
”Tonight, I am grateful for the company,” Tris said. ”He bores me.”
”I've had all I can take from you, Tris. You split me and Beebo up tonight”
”Ah, then I did you a favor, no?” and she smiled.
”You d.a.m.n near got me killed!”
”She is not gentle, is she?” Tris said, releasing Laura to touch her bruised mouth, but she was still smiling a little.
”Gentle?” Laura exploded. ”Beebo? Gentle like a tornado. Why did you do it, Tris? Why?”
Tris shrugged, walking away from her. ”I felt like it. I don't know why. I wanted to see you. I wanted to seewell, I wondered what she was like ... Beebo.”
”You're incredible,” Laura breathed, furious, watching her saunter suggestively toward her bedroom.
”Are you coming with me?” Tris asked.
And Laura felt her legs weaken and her heart jump, and she hated herself for it. ”No,” she said.
”Of course you are. That is why you are here. Come.”
And Laura, helpless, went to her. Tris took her hands and led her, walking backwards herself, into the room and onto the low couch. She began to kiss her and Laura felt her fury rise and change into pa.s.sion. Tris had never been so close to her, so tantalising.
Somehow her anger made her pa.s.sion sharper and wilder. She wanted to hurt Tris with it. Beebo believed they had made love, did she? Well, Laura would give truth to her fantasies.
Laura could feel Tris's body begin to respond. A surging feeling of triumph flashed through her. She felt the familiar, wonderful insanity come over her and she relinquished herself wholly to feeling. It took her a few moments to understand that Tris was fighting her. And suddenly she came to herself with a shock and felt Tris slip away from her and saw her standing a few feet from the bed.
Tris gave her a lookalmost of pityand then turned and raced from the room. By the time Laura reached the door, it was locked. At first she was stunned, motionless. And then she began to throw her weight against it. ”Tris! Tris, let me out!” she cried in a panic.
”Stay where you are till you cool off,” Tris said. Her voice was very near, just on the other side of the door, and Laura was wild to join her.
”Please, Tris!” she implored and her voice was low with coming tears. ”Tris, don't do this to me!” Her whole body ached and after a moment more of futile beating on the door she slumped to the floor, moaning.
A long time later she dragged herself off the floor and back to the bed and lay there, sleepless, until early dawn. She was sick with the need to hurt and the need for love all scrambled inside her; she was imprisoned in her h.o.m.os.e.xuality and thinking ... thinking hard of Jack.
The first daylight was coming in the window when Laura heard the door open and saw Tris glide across the floor toward her. Laura smothered a first harsh impulse to jump at her. Tris came on tiptoe, thinking Laura would be asleep, and when she saw Laura's blue eyes staring at her, she was startled.
Then she came and sat in silence on the edge of the bed and looked at Laura for a while, until Laura, who was restraining herself tightly, saw that Tris was crying. And the crying became suddenly audible and made Tris cover her face with her hands. Laura lay beside her, refusing to touch her, feeling her spite and misery soften a little, feeling even a shade of pity. She wanted to beat the girl and at the same time stroke her shaking shoulders.
Tris turned her back to Laura and finally spoke with considerable effort. ”I'm going out on the Island tomorrow,” she said. ”For two weeks, a vacation. Come with me.”
Laura stared at her back, frowning in disbelief. ”What?” she said.
”I want you to come with me,” Tris whispered. Her voice sounded, as once before, quite American.
”You must enjoy torturing me,” Laura said.
There was a long pause while Tris s.n.a.t.c.hed a piece of face tissue from a box by the bed and blew her nose. Finally she said, ”It was torture for me, too. But still, it was inexcusable, what I did to you. I was a beast. II can't talk about it,” and she gave a quick sob. ”But I promise it will never happen againif you promise never to mention it. Promise?” And she turned and looked at Laura.