Part 28 (2/2)

The server came over to take our order, but Clare shooed him away. I just sat there. Even if she was right, I couldn't do it. All I wanted was to run away and not deal with it-my lies, his disappointment, our feelings.

”If you tell him and he ends up hating you,” she said, ”then you go your separate ways, never see each other again, and be miserable for a long time. That's what you're planning to do right now anyway, isn't it?” Gee, that was an awesome way to look at it.

”I guess.”

”But if you tell him and he forgives you, then no one has to be miserable.”

I hated that she made sense. But these were emotions, and since when did emotions ever make sense? ”It would never work out between us. We're too different.”

”I think that's why he fell for you. Because you're so different.” She took out her wallet, tossed enough money onto the table to cover the bills of our table and the one next to us, and stood. ”Come on.”

I got up slowly. I wanted to leave, but not with Clare. ”I need to think about it.”

”Time for thinking is long over, my dear. All thinking does is confuse things. Now we act. Well, you act, and I block the door so you can't escape.”

”I really need to think about it first. Plus, I need to be somewhere in a little while. But I promise to call him.” Eventually.

”One thing you need to know about both Hayden and me is that we don't give up. So if you're planning to sneak away and never be heard from again, you should come up with a better plan. It's like I always say: if you throw enough money at something, you'll eventually find what you're looking for.”

”I'm not something you can buy,” I snapped.

Clare smiled. ”I know. If you were, he wouldn't want you so much.” She slid her hand into mine as if we were old friends and led me out of the restaurant.

I was too confused to react, to pull away, to question what Clare was planning. By the time I found my voice again, the valet was pulling Clare's Mercedes up. ”I can't go with you. Not now.” Or hopefully ever. ”I have to be somewhere.”

”I'll take you there.”

”No.” The last thing I needed was Clare hovering over my shoulder during an interrogation. Although after Clare's interrogation, I think I'd feel more comfortable with the cops.

”Where is it? I'll drop you off. Around the corner if you want me to. Unless you're going shopping-then I'm going with.”

I stopped. ”Why are you doing this?”

”I owe him for the last three years of his life. I'm counting on you to make the next three better.”

I slipped into the pa.s.senger side. My heart was racing for all the wrong reasons. Primarily because it was encouraged, hopeful even, and that wasn't good. Because it meant that I had to come clean to someone who currently believed I was a decent person. And as much as I would love to be with him, I hated the idea that his belief, even from a distance, would no longer exist.

”Where to, Andi?”

Clare's expression-calm, determined, relentless-gave me strength. I didn't ask what she'd lied to him about for so long because then I'd have to confess my own sins. And if I could build up the courage to tell the truth, it was going to be a one-shot deal. And it would be to him.

I took a deep breath and gave her the street address, then I added, ”It's the police station.”

Clare's only reaction was a single nod. ”So who is Sira?”

37.

Andi ”Like I said, if you throw enough money at something, you can get whatever you want.” Clare's longer legs meant she only had to take one stride for every two of my shorter ones, but she still struggled to keep up with me. My steps were louder, too-the added bonus of stomping in boots. ”Can you slow down a little, Andi?”

Nope. I was too furious. And the faster I got out of the police station, the faster I could freak out without getting shot.

”What is wrong with you?” she asked. ”Burton is a great lawyer.”

”Yeah, but he's not my lawyer. I didn't hire him, and I can't pay for him.”

”Andi, you need to calm down. So what if someone else hired him? He's going to handle everything for you.” Then her voice dropped to a mumble. ”If you actually talk to him, that is.”

”He wouldn't even tell me who was paying him. How am I supposed to trust someone who won't be honest with me?” Forever trapped in that f.u.c.king irony, wasn't I?

I'd gone in prepared to speak to the police. Instead, some guy in an expensive suit who I'd never seen or spoken to before came in claiming he was my attorney and that I had nothing to say. But I did, and it was so simple, even an idiot like me could've done it without a.s.sistance. I hadn't done what I was being accused of. I didn't know anything about the hacking or the murder. That's it.

Instead, my new lawyer who wasn't my lawyer-and whose name wasn't something Italian sounding, although his suit probably was-shuffled me outside, refusing to let me speak and telling me I should meet him at his office in two hours to talk about the case. My first thought was that Clare had hired him, but she didn't know anything about me or why I was here. When I saw her in the lobby, unfortunately waiting for me, she looked as lost as I did...almost. The lawyer had files and information on the case, which meant he'd known for at least a few hours.

It had to be Emilia. Again, Emilia had stuck her well-meaning but completely inappropriate nose into my business. I already owed her way too much. Honestly, if I went to jail for breaking the conditions of the agreement I'd signed, that was no less than I deserved. All she was doing was getting herself more involved and making it harder for me to prove that she didn't know what I'd done.

I glanced at my watch. She'd be heading to the park for her run now. If I waited until she was back home to call, I'd have to steam for another hour. And taking the bus to get there would probably take most of that hour.

I turned to Clare. ”If I talk to Hayden in the mood I'm in right now, there's no way I'll be able to stay civil. I need to calm down, talk to Emilia, and then calm down some more. Maybe with a drink or two. So can you drive me somewhere else first?”

Clare grimaced. ”One stop?”

I nodded.

”Had I known I would be driving so much I would've worn different shoes.” She rolled her eyes. ”Okay, one stop, but then no more stalling.”

After we'd driven around the park for about ten minutes, we saw Emilia. She was sweating and oblivious to the wrath that was about to outrun her. Clare pulled over to the side of the road, and I jumped out. I stood in the middle of the path, waiting for Emilia to see me. As soon as she did, she slid to a stop, took her earbuds out, and walked forward hesitantly.

”Since you look like you're about to kill me,” she said breathlessly, ”I'm taking that it didn't go well with Clare.”

I didn't say anything because what I had to say wasn't the kind of thing that should be shouted in the middle of a public place.

She stopped just a few feet away. ”I knew you wouldn't be happy I set it up, but I didn't think you'd be this unhappy.”

”Clare's really great.”

”Then why are you looking at me like that?”

”I met my lawyer.”

”Good. What'd he say?”

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