Part 18 (1/2)
”He's waking up,” I heard Coleman yell.
I felt, before I could see, the others gathered around me. I was now at the rock overhang again, overlooking the guardhouse on the southeastern approach to Sinai. I saw my pack lying beside me. The flap had been opened and the copies of the Tenth Integration had been taken out and were lying around. But no sign of Rachel.
I looked down at the feather still in my hand, and in that moment I knew.
”We found you here,” Coleman was saying. ”You must have hit your head. You've been unconscious.”
”Where is Rachel?” I asked.
He reached over and touched my shoulder. The others looked devastated.
”She didn't make it,” he whispered. ”She was killed at the Circle of Rocks.”
I nodded slowly. I knew I should have known the whole time, but I was still thrown into total shock. I was just with her.
I pleaded with him. ”Are you sure? She pulled me out of the Circle during the gunfire. I was with her for a long time. We were able to observe the Afterlife together. We saw the Plan.”
”I checked her myself,” Coleman said. ”And right after, a group of Egyptian soldiers came to investigate the explosions. The Apocalyptics had to back off. So all of us except Rachel were able to get away. You were missing. I saw the soldiers carry her body away. I texted Wil and the others and told them. I'm so sorry.”
At this point, I was emotionally swept into one of the most profound feelings of loss I had ever experienced. Rachel's energy had been a part of this entire journey, beginning with our first Connection at the Pub. She was a partner in my clearing to Agape, and now she was gone. My head told me she was still alive in the Afterlife, but I missed her radiant eyes, and the thoughtfulness that had kept me so grounded. Amid tears, I blurted all this out to the others.
Then, right at my darkest moment, I suddenly felt her hug from a distance that I had felt on the other side, and smelled the familiar rose perfume she had always worn.
I knew, then, that she was not only still alive. She was right here with us!
”She helped me through so many things on this trip,” Coleman said. ”And now she's dead.”
”She's not dead!” I protested.
”I know. I know,” Coleman said. ”I get the Tenth Integration. We were all tuning in to the Plan. But knowing that she still lives isn't the same as having her right here to talk with, or to get one of those famous hugs from.”
”No, you don't understand,” I shouted confidently. ”She's right here with us. Now. She was touching me from a distance in the Afterlife so I would know it was possible here. Tune in! You can still get that hug!”
The others were gathering around closer, listening intently, and they began to sense Rachel as well. For several hours, I carefully relayed to them everything that had occurred in the Afterlife, especially the Plan and goal of history, bringing to Earth the knowledge and consciousness known in Heaven, and Rachel's statements about the coming Universal Consciousness. Tommy smiled at me.
Everyone told me about what had happened here when they had read the Tenth part of the Doc.u.ment they'd found in my bag. As we talked, our energy elevated us together into the Tenth Integration.
”It's about realizing that the Afterlife is right here,” Coleman offered. ”We can resolve everything with our loved ones and receive what they know. The key is to do what they do: use their Influence and the Law of Connection to uplift everyone into a Connected consciousness. It's another level of Alignment.”
”Native peoples,” Love of Mountain said, ”have never lost this ability to communicate with the other world. Developed cultures have derided this awareness as ancestor wors.h.i.+p, but we have held this Connection as important since humans became conscious.”
She gave us a particular look, and I knew she was right. We were now in a template discussion. Everyone agreed that the Native traditions had always had the best emphasis on this Integration, although mystical Christianity and certain Jewish writings in the Kabbalistic traditions point to Afterlife contact as well.
”Over here!” Tommy's mother was saying. We had all started to gather our gear, sensing we must move farther up the Mount. We dashed to the overhang and saw Joseph walking through the gate at the guardhouse and heading back in our direction. He eventually stopped and went in another direction for a while, then in another, apparently attempting to hide his true destination from the soldiers. When he was out of sight of the guardhouse, we could see him turning toward us again.
”We have to leave before he gets here,” Coleman suddenly shouted. ”If he was involved in the attack on us, he might have soldiers heading our way right now.”
Many of the others seemed just as fearful, and I felt myself moving into deep anger again. My energy plummeted. What if Joseph had been responsible for Rachel's death? What kind of monster was he? Here he was, walking around free and alive, and she was gone. My emotions were moving from anger to a vengeful urge to get back at him.
I suddenly stopped myself, shaking my head. Unconsciously, I had gone into a Cycle of Revenge, just that fast.
Tommy was looking down at Joseph and spoke up. ”Wait a minute. He seems to be alone. And I can see no soldiers. I think we should talk to him.”
”He's right,” I said. ”We have to find out the truth.”
We all agreed and waited there until Joseph walked up. He appeared shocked that we were now in this location.
”You're here,” he said, walking quickly up to us. ”I wasn't able to find my brother. No one had seen him. I am afraid he is with the Apocalyptics now.” Joseph's face was sad, as though he thought he'd failed.
None of us responded, so he continued, ”One of the soldiers at the gate told me my brother had ordered them not to patrol in certain areas of the mountain any longer.”
He looked at Tommy. ”I think this soldier knows you.”
We were still not saying anything.
”Look.” Joseph was pointing to his knapsack. ”He also gave me this.” He was pulling out a stack of papers. ”It's the Eleventh Integration! It tells us how to ...”
His words trailed off. He could see we were still looking at him intensely.
”What's wrong?” he asked.
Everyone surrounded him and we asked Joseph if he knew what had happened at the Circle of Rocks. He said he didn't, and when we informed him of the shooting, he was so genuinely shaken he had to sit down-prompting most of the group to welcome him back with hugs and encouragement.
”Joseph,” Coleman asked, ”why did you come up to this location now?”
”Because the guards said there are many more people coming into town from everywhere. I headed up here because I wanted to see if I could detect anyone coming up from this side.”
Coleman and I looked at each other and then gazed down at the trail coming up the mountain. Dozens of people seemed to be heading our way.
As the rest of the group continued to talk to Joseph, discussing the Tenth with him, I walked farther out on the overhang, needing to think. I was still concerned by how quickly I had slipped into revenge.
How pervasive, I wondered, was this emotion in the world right now? Was it the predominating emotion behind the rash of school shootings, employee outbursts, and-on the international scene-the willingness to blow oneself and others up in order to make the enemy pay? Was this the way human fear and anger, in this time of transition, was playing out: wanting others to suffer the way we were suffering?
Colonel Peterson had said this Cycle of Revenge was growing into a nuclear phase, the urge to deliver the final act of retribution and end everything. I suddenly felt as if humanity was running out of time.
Where was Tommy? I wondered. I needed to speak with Tommy. When I turned around, I saw that he was already walking toward me. I laughed out loud, evoking a puzzled look from the young man.
”I need to talk to you,” he said. ”It's important.”
”About the Universal Consciousness?” I asked.
”Yes, I want to tell you something. My tribe believes it will get much stronger, and sooner than most people think.”
”But when is it going to happen?” I asked.
”Most think the Calendar's end date is December 21, 2012, but other scholars are saying the beginning of the last phase of creation will start much earlier, in the spring of 2011.”
”What? That's now!”
”Yes. And we aren't going to understand this coming force of creation until we can figure out what the point of Connection we felt on Secret Mountain really is, and how to relate to it. We have to get through the remaining Integrations!”