Part 4 (2/2)
Soeta bit of a composition on the subject of ”The Inequality of Equals” I know that the Declaration tells us that all men are born free and equal, and I shall explain in my essay that it means us to understand that while they are born equal, they begin to become unequal the day after they are born, and becoes his mind and the other one does not I try, all the while, to hbor, the judge, and then I feel foolish to think that I ever tried it The neighbors all know it isn't true, and so do I when I quit arguing withstart of , though, I'e my mind as often as possible
CHAPTER XVII
THE POINT OF VIEW
Just why a boy is averse to washi+ng his neck and ears is one of the deep probleists have veered away from the subject There ht to be able and willing to find it, so as to relieve the anxiety of the rest of us It is easy for esture, that a boy is of the earth earthy, but that only begs the question, as full-arestures are wont to do Many a boy has shed copious tears as he sat on a bench outside the kitchen door re, under compulsion, the day's accu He would much prefer to sleep on the floor to escape the foot-washi+ng ordeal Why, pray, should he wash his feet when he knows full well that toht will find them in the same condition? Why all the bother and trouble about a little thing like that? Why can't folks let a fellow alone, anyhow? And, besides, he went in swiht to meet all the exactions of capricious parents He exhibits his feet as an evidence of the virtue of going swi the preli expedition to-e it see a Democrat, or a Republican, or a Baptist, or a Methodist, or about so the north pole, or about the President'shad a rat cornered under the corn-crib and was barking like ht relations and proportions
And there satjust stark crazy about that rat 'Tis enough to , a rat, and a boy--there's a combination that recks not of the fall of e of thrones
Even chicken-noodles must take second place in such a scheme of world activities And yet a mother would hold a boy back from the forefront of such an enterprise to wash his neck Oh, these mothers!
I have read ”Adam's Diary,” by Mark Twain, in which he tells what events were forward in Eden on Monday, what on Tuesday, and so on throughout the week till he came to Sunday, and his only coland Priather the solemn information that ”In Ada to be pero to church just as he was, but I had to be renovated and, at tinities, had to wear shoes and stockings; and the stockings scratched ht If Adah, just think of me Besides, Adarated and smeared his neck The more I think of Adam's situation, the more sorry I feel for myself Why, he could just reach out and pluck soh the services, but I had to walk a ht shoes, and then wait an hour for dinner And I was supposed to feel and act religious while I aiting, but I didn't
If I could only have gone to church barefoot, with my shi+rt open at the throat, and with a pocket full of cookies to hout the services, I areater The soul of a boy doesn't expand violently when encased in a starched shi+rt and a paper collar, and these surmounted by a thick coat, with the mercury at ninety-seven in the shade I think I can trace ry Sundays, those tight shoes, that warm coat, and those frequent jabs in my ribs when I fain would have slept
In my childhood there was such a host of people ere pushi+ng and pulling ood that, even yet, I shy away frooodness The wonder is that I have any standing at all in polite and upright society So hty, and applied so many other no less approbrious epithets to me that, in tiently to live up to the reputation they gaveood mother: ”Is that your child?” Poor mother! I have often wondered how e reat toe, and an ankle were decorated with greasy rags, and I was far fro walnuts, too, and my stained hands served to accentuate the human scenery
This same aunt had three boys of her own, later on, and acreould be hard to find I confess that I took a deal of grim satisfaction in their dilapidated ensemble, just for my aunt's benefit, of course They were fine, wholesoe, and I liked theloried in their cuts, bruises, and dirt At that ti a necktie and had my shoes polished but, even so, I yearned to join with theeneral indifference to convention They are fine, upstanding young chaps now, and of course theirmade them so They know better, but are too kind and considerate to reveal the truth to theirlike ad up spooks, hob-goblins, and bugaboos hich to scare ave theain time, for I knehere there was a chip him out just as soon as my apparent subeneration They used to tell me that children should be seen but not heard, and I knew they wanted to do the talking I often wonder whether their notion of a good child would have been satisfactorily met if I had suddenly become paralyzed, or ossified, or petrified In either of these cases I could have been seen but not heard One day, not long ago, when I felt at peace with all the world and was co seven-year-old asked: ”How long since the world was born?” After I told hiorously at his thu” Then I wished I had said four millions, so as to reduce hi routed and put to confusion by a seven-year-old
After quite a silence he asked again: ”What was there before the world was born?” That was an easy one; so I said in a tone of finality: ”There wasn't anything” Then I went on withI had used the soft pedal effectively Silence reigned supreme for some minutes, and then was rudely shattered His thuhed so lustily that he could be heard throughout the house When his laughter had spent itself so at?” His answer cahter: ”I was laughing to see how funny it hen there wasn't anything” No wonder that folks want children to be seen but not heard And some folks are scandalized because a chap like that doesn't like to wash his neck and ears
CHAPTER XVIII
PICNICS
The code of table etiquette in the days oflike: ”Eat what is set before you and ask no questions” We heeded this injunction with religious fidelity, but yearned to ask why they didn't set ets enough to eat is when he goes to a picnic and, even there and then, the rounding out of the programme is connected with clandestine visits to the baskets after the formal ceremonies have been concluded At a picnic there is no such expression as ”from soup to nuts,” for there is no soup, and perhaps no nuts, but there is everything else in tantalizing abundance If I find a plate of deviled eggs near ue is nearer, I begin with that
In this way I reveal, for the pleasure of the hostesses, my unrestricted and democratic appetite Or, in order to obviate any possible eress of the chicken towardthat they may not return once they have been put in circulation Certainly I take jelly when it passes along, as well as pickles, olives, and cheese
There is no incongruity, at such a tiel-food cake on one's plate or in one's hands
They harastrono reaches its full fruition: ”Eat what is set before you and ask no questions” These things I do
That's a good rule for reading, too, just to read what is set before you and ask no questions I' now of the reader member of my dual nature, not the student member I like to cater so his inning, I like to give him free rein and not hamper him by any lock-step or stereotyped method or course I like to lead him to a picnic table and dismiss him with the mere statement that ”Heaven helps those who help themselves,” and thus leave him to his own devices If Southey's, ”The Curse of Kehain with that as I did with the deviled eggs Or he may nibble at ”The House-Boat on the Styx” while so He , and that's all right, too, for that's a nourishi+ng sort of food Having partaken of this generously, he will enjoy all thein the fory”
Theis very like a picnic dinner It is all good, and one takes the food which is nearest him, whether pie or pickles
When any one asks , I becoue of books at the ti may not see may be too desultory or too personal to be paraded in public I don't hbors what I ate for breakfast I like to saunter along through the book just as I ride in a gondola when in Venice
I' on the way I pay the gondolier and then let him have his oith me
So with the book I pay the h, ell and good, and I'll laugh If it causes ood If I ever becoe of the book I a the matter with that book or else with e number in David Grayson's ”Adventures in Contentment,” or ”The Friendly Road,” I shall certainly consult a physician I do beco the end of the feast, and feel regret that the book is not larger