Chapter 34.1 (1/2)
Deep in the Act
Translator: Kotoni
Editor: Cien
Quality Check: Isalee
First Published on Chaleuria
Warning: Contains descriptions of psychological manipulation and abuse of power.
Chapter 34.1
It was just a light kiss, nothing more than a fleeting touch between Fang Chi and Gao Zhun's lips. Indignant and vexed, Fang Chi tightened his hands on the steering wheel. He did not want to recall that image. He was terrified, so terrified that his fingers had gone cold. Obediently leaning back against the front seat, Gao Zhun gazed at him with watery eyes, like a child waiting to open a present.
Fang Chi was trapped. Gao Zhun had captured him with honeyed blades and poisoned webs. Despite having struggled as hard as he could, he was reaching his limit now - while his naïve and innocent predator waited by his side, ready to dig in. Glancing at Gao Zhun out of the corners of his eyes, Fang Chi made a right turn. ”It's still early. I'd like to carry out some in vivo exposure training1 with you.”
Gao Zhun's eyes widened in obvious disappointment. ”We aren't going home…?”
”We are.” Bitterness welled up from the very core of Fang Chi's being. He hated Gao Zhun's sweetness and vulnerability; he resented the devastating ease with which the other man had entered and wrecked his life. ”We're going to your home.”
Gao Zhun did not understand Fang Chi at first. Slowly, the car pulled into Gao Zhun's estate and turned down the lane leading to his apartment block. Then, instead of stopping outside the building, the car glided into the underground parking garage. Gao Zhun's hands instantly tightened into fists. Staring out of the window with panicked eyes, he shrank into his seat and curled up on himself. ”Doc- Doctor Fang!”
Fang Chi was very pleased; the s.a.d.i.s.tic thrill of torture rushed through his veins, and the taste of sated vengeance lingered on his tongue. ”Today, we'll work on overcoming your fear of parking garages.” He parked his car deep in the garage, pulled on the hand brake, s.h.i.+fted the gear to neutral, and turned off the ignition.
The world stilled. All was quiet except for the sound of Gao Zhun's tremulous pleas, ”No… I don't…” He leaned toward Fang Chi, shaking helplessly as tears welled up in his eyes. Pitiful and desperate, he begged his therapist for help, ”Can we go up… please?” Fang Chi responded by unfastening his own seat belt instead. Gao Zhun became frantic. Knowing that the therapist would no longer listen to him, Gao Zhun rushed to undo his seat belt as well. He had to keep up with the other man, a subconscious instinct told him, or else he would be left behind all on his own.
”Tell me how you're feeling right now,” Fang Chi instructed. He wanted the other man to soak in the fear for a while.
”This place reminds me of that night, makes me think of that man…” Gao Zhun tried to reach for Fang Chi's hand - but the therapist pulled back from his touch. The blatant rejection was too much for Gao Zhun; his voice rose into an uncontrollable scream, ”He bullied and hurt me!”
”Do you mean that he had s.e.xual intercourse with you?”
Gao Zhun responded with an indignant nod. ”What about the things we do at night then?” Fang Chi asked in return. ”How are they any different from the things he did to you?” Gao Zhun froze, stunned into silence. The therapist continued, ”All these acts are ultimately the same in nature. What's different is your reaction to them: sometimes you find them frightening, sometimes you find them… pleasurable. This shows that the problem doesn't lie with the s.e.xual act itself, but your interpretation of it.”
”But that's because I was with you!” Gao Zhun was driven to the brink of tears. ”It's because I was with you that I…”
”You're with me now. What's so terrifying about this place?” Fang Chi got out of the car and slammed the door behind him. A violent shudder tore through Gao Zhun. Then, scrambling to escape the confines of the vehicle, he stumbled out after the other man. The world outside was one of steel and concrete, lit with pale, feeble lights while the faint smell of gasoline and mineral lime hung in the air. Gao Zhun lost his bearings all of a sudden. His memories came back in a rush: the sounds of footsteps and keys, the low buzz of machinery… Gently, Fang Chi placed his hand on Gao Zhun's back. ”Where is your car?”
Gao Zhun calmed down. ”Zone C, lot 028.” Fang Chi gave a little push, signaling for Gao Zhun to walk ahead while he followed behind in silence. It was evident that Gao Zhun was terrified; he moved falteringly, stopping in hesitation after every few tentative steps. Whenever he paused in his movements, Fang Chi would move close and a.s.sure him, ”Don't be scared. I'm here for you.”
Don't be scared. I'm here for you… Fang Chi had spoken these words many times, so many times that they had become a magical spell that could bring peace to Gao Zhun's mind at once. ”I want a reward,” Gao Zhun said all of a sudden, bracing himself as he bargained with Fang Chi. ”Be nicer to me… at night.”
Fang Chi was surprised. ”Haven't I been nice enough to you?” Standing behind Gao Zhun, his eyes fell on the other man's reddening nape. He felt an urge to take hold of that delicate neck before him, but he stopped himself.
Then, Fang Chi heard Gao Zhun breathe out his reply, ”Be even nicer.” Fang Chi did not respond. He followed Gao Zhun to Zone C, walked down the designated row, and came to lot 028. A top-of-the-range Cayenne stood in the allotted s.p.a.ce. Its Prussian blue surface was coated with a thick layer of dust, while its driver's seat was completely down. The sight was most bizarre and unsettling.
”How long has it been since you last moved it?”
”Since that day…” Gao Zhun took a deep breath.
Fang Chi supported him from behind, worried that Gao Zhun would not be able to bear it. ”How did you make it to the hotel?”
”I walked.” Even now, the mere thought of the experience made Gao Zhun s.h.i.+ver with pain. ”It hurt so much…”